Brothers in Arms
by icyglass431
Summary: What went wrong? That was the only thing he could think about. Sure, he knew that it could happen at any time. It had to happen at one time. More than on one occasion he was able to fool his destiny and return to base safely. But his luck had to run out. And today, it did. It all started like any other bombing raid he flew the last months…
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys,**

 **This universe chronicles around my OC.**

 **PS: I had to change the thinking of time (at least a little bit) for this story. Otherwise the following stories, which are already planned, wouldn't make any sense.**

 **I combined the thinking of the 1940s with the thinking of today about homosexuality. In general, homosexual relationships are allowed and considered normal by most of the people, but UNFORTUNATELY, not by everyone. It is also allowed to be in the army if you are homosexual. But of course, the Nazis are against that kind of relationship.**

 **If you have a problem that I changed the course of time, then stop reading now.**

 **Otherwise, have fun!**

 **USCityGirl**

 _1943_

 _What went wrong?_

That was the only thing he could think about.

Sure, he knew that it could happen at any time. It had to happen at one time. More than on one occasion he was able to fool his destiny and return to base safely.

But his luck had to run out.

And today, it did.

It all started like any other bombing raid he flew the last months…

* * *

"How long till drop point, Sallow?" he asked, his mind focused on the scene in front of him.

"30 seconds"

"You ready, Relish?"

"Yes, Sir. Only waiting for your command"

Their target was a large munitions factory near Hammelburg.

"Be ready, Relish. Steady, Relish. Now," he yelled.

Relish pushed the button and everyone held his breath. The high-pitched sound of bombs flying towards the ground was the only thing you could hear.

A few seconds later, BOOM.

He watched as beneath him the factory exploded, in one big fire ball.

His crew cheered as he informed his CO via radio, "Mission accomplished, Sir. Heading back to base"

" _Understood. Congratulations"_

As he made a turn to fly back, something caught his eye.

German aircraft; the enemy was approaching.

"Hang on, everyone. Celebration has to wait. We have company"

He made contact with the others of his squadron and they decided to fly separate ways, since the Germans have had not enough planes in the air to go after the whole squadron.

After a few turns to distract the enemy, he made his way back to England.

With his mind already half across the ocean, he suddenly heard MacQuoid, his co-pilot, scream, "Look out, Sir. Another enemy unit"

But this time, the whole sky was flooding with Germans.

It was the beginning of the end.

They started shooting. He tried to avoid the bullets, but there were simply too much.

A dull bang next, and his plane felt like a bull trying to throw him of its back.

He heard Relish shout, "We've been hit"

He felt panic rising up in the young Airman, and since he was the pilot and the highest ranking member of the crew, he tried to comfort him, "No need to worry, Relish. Everything is going to be alright. Don't panic"

He didn't know how wrong he was.

Another bang.

"Our systems are failing, Jout. We don't know our altitude, or our speed. We know nothing," MacQuoid informed him.

"What are we going to do, Sir?" asked Sallow.

Trying to stay calm Jout decided, "Alright guys, we're bailing out. Put on your parachutes. When you reach the ground, hide the parachutes and search for the others. Nobody is leaving this place on his own. Understood?"

"Understood," answered his crew in union.

A few seconds later, everyone was hooked up to their parachutes and he opened the door.

"Come on, guys. Out, out, out"

Jout was the last one to jump; he looked up to see his plane exploding. The Krauts hit the fuel tank.

 _That was close_

On the ground, he hid the parachute and searched for his crew. He found them nearby and declared, "Near Hammelburg is an Underground organization that helps Allied flyers to flee back to England. Follow me"

He motioned for them to follow. "Oh, and, watch your back"

* * *

But they didn't come far. About five miles away from their starting point, they were picked up by a German Luftwaffe patrol.

" _Halt_ ," yelled one of the Jerries. ["Stop"]

They attempted to run away, but they were already encircled by the other Krauts.

"Raise your hands," Jout ordered his crew. " _In Ordnung, Soldat. Kein Grund zu schießen_ "

["Everything's alright, soldier. No need to shoot"]

He tried to remember a few of the German he was taught when he was transferred to the European Theater [1].

They were dragged into a truck and ended up at the Gestapo headquarters. He and his crew were led into an office, where a Gestapo officer and a Luftwaffe general were already sitting behind a large desk.

"So, this is the famous 324th Bombardment Squadron," started the Gestapo officer while moving forward to the American soldiers. "And who of you would be the _Golden Eagle_?"

Jout moved forward. "That would be me, Sir"

" _Golden Eagle_. Nice to finally meet you in person"

"I can't say the same"

"Oh, the fine gentleman has humor. Let's see how long you can hold it up"

With a dirty smirk on his face, he moved to Sallow and Jout exclaimed, "Leave my men alone. Whatever you want to do, do it to me. I'm _Golden Eagle_ , I'm responsible for all the bombings"

"Nobody is doing any harm to you, aren't we, Major Hochstetter?" intervened the general.

"Sure, General Burkhalter" Hochstetter walked back to the table.

He ordered his men to separate Jout from his crew.

"Why are you separating us," questioned Jout.

"We are not interested in your men, Lieutenant. We only care about you. So you are being placed in the most escape-proofed POW camp in all of Germany," explained General Burkhalter.

"I still think it's a bad idea," breathed Hochstetter under his breath.

* * *

"Prisoners, since I'm such a nice Kommandant, I thought I inform you about the last promising action of our glorious Fatherland," announced Colonel Klink after Sergeant Schultz had counted the prisoners.

"I'm sure you all are familiar to the _Golden Eagle_?"

Colonel Robert Hogan had to roll his eyes.

 _Of course we know him. He's only one of the greatest bombing commanders of the Allied command. Who doesn't know him?_

"I'm glad to announce that he was shot down during last night's bombing raid, and is now brought to our very own Stalag"

Hogan looked to his men in disbelief. He saw the same look on their faces.

 _Golden Eagle was shot down? Why hasn't London informed us yet?_

"He is brought to Stalag 13 because no prisoner was ever able to escape from here. And the German High Command doesn't want him to escape," laughed Klink.

"Dismissed," yelled the Kommandant and returned to his office.

"Blimey, the _Golden Eagle_. Do we know what 'is real name is?" asked Newkirk as they gathered around Colonel Hogan.

"Nobody knows his real name. It's a mystery," answered Kinch.

"The _Golden Eagle_? Who is he?" wondered Carter.

"Were you asleep the whole war, André? He is one of the best Allied flyers. He has the highest efficiency rate among all bombing commanders"

"And now he is on his way to us," said Hogan.

* * *

Jout fished in his pockets for a handkerchief, but his task was made more difficult since he was handcuffed. The whole time he was being watched by some German soldier, who was ready to shoot at any time.

" _Kein Grund zur Sorge Kamarad. Ich brauche nur ein Taschentuch_ " ["No need to worry, comrade. I'm only searching for a handkerchief"]

Much to Jout's surprise, the Luftwaffe soldier reached in his own pocket and gave him one.

Jout thanked him and wiped his blood stained lip. When Major Hochstetter ordered to bring him away, he refused to move just one inch. So, one of Hochstetter's sidekicks punched him in the face.

 _Lovely company, those Krauts_

* * *

Two hours later, Carter entered the barracks and informed the guys of the new prisoner that arrived.

"Let's go to our coffee pot. I would like to hear in," declared Hogan.

Everyone followed him into his office and Kinch prepared the coffee pot.

" _Ah, the Golden Eagle! I have to say, I never had such a famous soldier in my camp"_

Colonel Klink received no answer.

" _For your information, you are in the toughest Prisoner of War camp in the whole Third Reich. Every attempt to escape is doomed to failure"_

Still no answer.

" _You are not very talkative, are you? Well, then, I only need your name, rank and serial number"_

Hogan and his man looked at each other.

They were about to find out who the _Golden Eagle_ really was.

* * *

 **[1] European Theater (of World War II) – huge area of heavy fighting across Europe,** **from Germany's and the Soviet Union's joint invasion of Poland in September 1939** **until the end of the war with Germany's unconditional surrender on May 8, 1945**


	2. Chapter 2

" _Aufstehen!_ " barked the Kraut soldier as the truck stopped. ["Stand up!"]

Jout tried to stand up as fast as he could with his hands handcuffed. He didn't want to risk another bloody lip.

He jumped of the truck and was led inside the building by a rather corpulent Sergeant.

The Sergeant opened the door and announced, "Kommandant, the new prisoner is here"

"Thank you Schultz," said the Kommandant.

He saw the handcuffs and added, "Schultz, you Dummkopf [1]! Why didn't you remove the handcuffs? Do I have to do everything around here?"

"Sorry, Kommandant," answered Schultz as he hurried to free Jout from his chains.

Then he saluted and left the office quickly.

Jout rubbed his wrist, noticing that there were already two slight red marks.

Klink clapped his hands and declared, "Ah, the _Golden Eagle_! I have to say, I never had such a famous soldier in my camp"

 _This is the Kommandant? Hasn't the general said this would be the most escape-proofed POW in all of Germany? I mean, this guy has a monocle, for God's sake!_

Klink sat down. "For your information, you are in the toughest Prisoner of War camp in the whole Third Reich. Every attempt to escape is doomed to failure"

 _That's what you think. I'll show you how escape proof this camp is. If this Schultz guy is any indication of what the other guards look like, then this will be a piece of cake_

"You are not very talkative, are you? Well, then, I only need your name, rank and serial number" Klink reached out for a pencil and waited for the prisoner's answer.

Jout came to attention, like always when asked after this kind of information.

" _Hogan, Joshua Patrick, 1st Lieutenant, US Army Air Force, 0958731"_

* * *

Hogan's jaw dropped. The other guys couldn't quite believe what they just heard either.

"Mon dieu! Am I dreaming or did _Golden Eagle_ just say his name is Hogan?"

 _This can't be true. After all these years?,_ thought Hogan.

* * *

"Hogan? Like Colonel Robert Hogan?" asked a puzzled Klink.

Jout stiffened. "Ahem, yeah, Sir. Do you know him?"

"Know him? He's the Senior POW in this camp. And how are the two of you related?"

 _This bald guy has to be kidding me. Rob is in this camp? What a great day! Not only that I've been shot down, no, I also have to land in the same camp like Rob_

"He is… he is my brother, Sir"

* * *

All eyes landed on Hogan.

"Blimey, gov'nor! I didn't know you had a brother"

"And he's also in the Air Force. Have you not known that he is _Golden Eagle_?" asked Carter.

"I didn't know he was in the military at all," said Hogan, more to himself than to his men.

But before anybody could ask what the Colonel meant by that statement, they heard Klink yelling for Schultz.

" _Schultz, take this prisoner to the delousing station, and then place him in Barracks 2. I think our Lieutenant here would like to be in the same barracks as his brother. Am I right, Lieutenant?"_

" _Sure," lied Jout._

 _Not really. On my part, I hoped to never see him again_

* * *

Hogan left his office and made his way to the hidden tunnel entrance. Carter, Kinch, LeBeau and Newkirk went after him. They reached the radio station in time to hear Hogan asking for London.

" _What can we do for you?"_

"I would like to know why I wasn't informed about _Golden Eagle's_ capture"

There was a short pause.

" _How… how do you know about… his capture?"_ stammered the voice.

"He was just brought to our camp. I ask again, why wasn't I informed?" Hogan was almost yelling.

Carter flinched. He couldn't remember if the Colonel was ever that mad.

This time, another voice answered. _"This is General Gallagher speaking. I would like to talk to Golden Eagle. Could you arrange that?"_

"He's currently at the delousing station. I'll see what I can do. But could anybody answer my question" Hogan was getting impatient.

" _Golden Eagle himself requested if anything would ever happen to him, we should not inform you. It is important that I can speak to him. Orders from the very top"_

Hogan sighed. "Understood, Sir. You will be able to speak to him as soon as possible"

Colonel Hogan turned around and saw his men standing behind him.

"Nobody mentions our little operation to him until I say so. Spread the news in the camp"

The guys nodded and climbed up.

* * *

Walking beside the Sergeant, Jout made his way over the compound. He had to admit, he never felt as nervous as in that moment. Not even on the day he flew his first bomb raid.

"…brother?"

He was taken back to reality. He looked to the Sergeant who waited for him to answer.

"I'm sorry; I have not listened to you. What was your question?" apologized Jout.

"Who is your brother?"

He tucked his hands deep in his flight jacket's pockets, dropped his gaze and replied, "Robert Hogan. I'm his younger brother, Joshua Hogan"

"The Colonel never mentioned that he had a brother," commented Schultz.

 _It figures. Why should he talk about me after what he did?_

"But I'm just a German guard. I don't know much about any prisoner's family"

"Here we are. Barracks 2. I'm the barracks guard. The other prisoners will tell you everything you need to know, but if there are still any questions, feel free to ask. I mean, just because we have war doesn't mean we shouldn't hold up some courtesy" offered the Sergeant.

"Thank you, I will remember that"

"The Red Cross will send a box with your clothing and personal items. Most of the time it arrives with the next Red Cross packages, so in your case it could be possible that you have your things next week," he explained.

Schultz opened the door and entered the barracks. Jout hesitated, but he followed him inside after a few seconds. After all, he couldn't avoid Rob forever.

Inside the barracks, he saw his brother sitting at a table in the middle of the room, playing cards with three other prisoners. Two other Americans, one looked rather young and one was an African-American.

 _Thank goodness, at least I'm not the only one who's young_

Both were Sergeants. In fact, the only other officer he saw was his brother.

Next to the young Sergeant sat an Englishman who smoked a cigarette and behind Rob stood a short man clothed in a red sweater.

Rob looked up from his cards and saw Jout.

He stood up and walked over to his younger brother.

"Colonel Hogan. This is the new prisoner. But I think you already know him," alleged Schultz.

Schultz turned around and before he left the barracks, he said to Jout, "Just remember what I told you"

Jout nodded and glanced around the barracks. Everyone in the room was staring at him.

Hogan eyed Jout, but didn't say anything.

He felt slightly intimidated, but he forced himself to sound as serious as possible when he greeted. "Long time no see, Rob"

Nobody dared to breathe. The tension between the brothers was unbearable.

Carter wanted to lighten up the mood. Therefore, he jumped off his stool and made his way towards the new prisoner. "I'm Carter, Andrew J. Or Little Deer Who Walks Swift and Sure Through Forrest"

He held out his hand.

Jout shook his hand while introducing himself. "Joshua P. Hogan. You can also call me Josh or Jout; whatever you like better. You're Indian?"

"Sioux," replied Andrew.

Newkirk was the next one to speak. "Peter Newkirk. Did ya just say yer last name is 'ogan?"

They had to act like they didn't know him, since the Colonel ordered not to say anything about the mission. This meant that they weren't allowed to say anything about the coffee pot either.

"Yeah," started Jout.

He pointed to Rob. "I'm his brother"

"I didn't know mon Colonel has a brother. But anyways, my name is Louis LeBeau"

"Welcome to Stalag 13," added Kinch. "How do you like our Kommandant?"

Jout joked, "You mean Klink? Interesting fellow; but I find it strange that no one ever successfully escaped. He doesn't seem to be very bright"

The guys started to laugh, but were interrupted by Hogan. "Well, he has not got his nickname _The Iron Eagle_ for nothing"

He turned to his brother and said, "I would like to speak to you in my office"

He went into the next room and waited for Jout to follow.

* * *

 **[1] Dummkopf – fool, idiot**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey guys,**

 **since LeBeau sometimes uses French vocabulary, I will try to do that too. After all, I want the story to have at least some resemblance to the original. But otherwise to the German code-switching, I'm not fluent in French. I'm not from France and I never had French in school. So please, if you guys can speak French and see that I've made some mistakes, feel free to tell me, but don't be angry about it.**

 **I will try to be as accurate as possible**

 **USCityGirl**

* * *

Jout tried desperately to avoid eye contact. He scanned the room, hoping to find some sort of a safe place. But there wasn't.

"Sit down." Hogan pointed to the bottom bunk.

"I'd rather stand," stated Joshua. "What do you want from me?"

"You're my brother. I would like to know how you feel. What happened to your lip?" Hogan leaned against his desk and folded his arms.

Jout touched his lip. He had already forgotten about his little encounter with the Gestapo guy.

"Nothing serious; let's just say, the Gestapo is not really hospitable. But since when do you care about how I feel?"

"Come on, Josh. I can't change what happened," started Hogan.

However, he was interrupted by Jout yelling, "But that doesn't mean I have to forgive you! Do you have any idea what I've been through?"

Rob sat up and moved closer to Jout. "Do you really think I haven't thought about that? I feel horrible for what I did, all the time. But I just couldn't stand it anymore"

"I was seven, Rob. Seven! I was all alone, and I had to stand him every day. I went through hell for seven years! Thanks to you, big brother," snapped Jout.

He turned around and made his way to the door.

"Where do you think you're going? We're not done yet," said Hogan.

"We sure are. You weren't a brother for me the last 13 years, and you definitely don't have to start acting like one now," fumed Jout.

* * *

"What do you think happened between them?" asked Carter as soon as the Colonel's door closed. "I mean. the Colonel never mentioned he has a brother"

"Yeah, and that wasn't a friendly greeting either," added Kinch.

The men gathered around the table.

"Moreover, did ya 'ear what the gov'nor said when Andrew asked 'im if 'e didn't know 'is brother is _Golden Eagle_? 'e said 'e didn't even know Joshua was in the military," explained Newkirk.

They stopped chattering when they heard the two brothers yelling.

"Formidable! [Great] It's only been about five minutes and they are already fighting with each other. That's going to be funny, gars [guys]"

"Louis is right. Whatever happened between them, they have to sort it out, otherwise we will have our own little war," Kinch pointed out.

"I think we should help them," announced Carter.

Andrew definitely wanted to help Colonel Hogan and Jout. He grew up in a very harmonic household and every fight that would occur from time to time was sorted out immediately. He wasn't used to such severe conflicts like the brothers obviously had.

"Are ya crackers, mate!?" exclaimed Peter. "If there is one thin' I learned from me past, it is not to interfere with other people's family troubles. Whatever 'appened between them, should stay between them"

"But, Newkirk, sometimes you need a third party to negotiate. And to be honest, do you really want to be stuck with their bickering?" asked Kinch, while pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"Of course not, but I still think it is wrong to barge in"

Carter was just about to raise his voice again, when Newkirk added. "Let's make a compromise. We do nothin' as long as neither Joshua nor the gov'nor open up to any of us, alright?"

"Sure," said Kinch.

"Bien [alright]," LeBeau hissed, looking on the floor.

Newkirk waited for Andrew to answer. Said one shifted and fiddled with his hands.

"Carter?"

He sighed. "You're right, Peter"

* * *

Jout stormed out of the office, but stopped in his tracks when he saw everyone staring at him.

"Something's wrong?" he snorted.

Joshua regretted his attitude immediately. It wasn't his intention to be cheeky or something, but this whole situation was simply too much for him to handle. Ten hours ago, he was at a military base in England, and now he was in a Prisoner of War camp in the middle of Germany. Moreover, in the same POW camp as his brother.

His whole world was upside down.

But luckily, the other prisoners didn't seem to mind his reaction, since the short Frenchman came over and offered him a cup of coffee, which Jout politely declined.

"I'm more of a tea person," he admitted.

"Finally someone with taste," exclaimed the Brit.

Hogan reentered the barracks and announced, "Josh, you can sleep in the bunk above Kinch"

He tilted his head at the bunk with the hidden tunnel entrance. "Has Klink told you when you're clothing will arrive?"

"Sergeant Schultz told me it will be send with the next Red Cross packages," answered Jout without looking at his brother.

He made his way over to his new bunk and was just about to climb onto it, when he heard Hogan say, "Carter, how about you show our newest addition a little bit around?"

Andrew jumped up. "You got it Boy – I mean Colonel"

"Come on, Joshua"

The two of them left the barracks, and Hogan went back into his office, slamming the door shut.

* * *

"And the building over there is the Rec Hall" Carter pointed to a large building behind barracks 12. "We usually use it to listen to music, to dance or to play ping-pong, or just to meet with other prisoners outside our own barracks"

"Is ping-pong the only sport you guys play around here?" asked Jout, while expecting everything around him.

"Oh, no, we play a lot. Football, baseball, basketball, you know the American stuff. But we also play soccer, and since we have different nations in here, we play some national sports too, like cricket," Andrew spurted out, worrying Joshua that the young Sergeant might forget to breathe.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, Joshua"

"Please, call me Jout, or Josh. Joshua is only been used if I'm in trouble," smirked Jout. "But back to my question. How old are you? You seem so young and bright"

"Oh, I'm 20," Carter answered.

"Me too," commented Jout.

"Really? Boy, am I glad I'm not the only one who is young. You know, sometimes the others act like I'm a child who needs its parents"

"Well, you aren't alone anymore," laughed Jout.

They walked towards the Mess Hall, when Carter suddenly realized, "Wait, how can you be a Lieutenant at the age of 20. I mean, you're already an officer"

Joshua chuckled, "Man, I get asked this question so often; I'm starting to think I should just hand out business cards with the explanation. Well, I joined the Air Core when I was 14, and just worked my way up. And here I am, six years later, in the middle of Germany. Great, isn't it?"

"It could be worse," stated Carter.

"How?"

"You could be sitting in the Mess Hall right now," joked Carter.

Joshua started to laugh, "If the food tastes as bad as it smells, I think you're totally right, Andrew"

After finishing the rest of the 'tour', they made their way back to the barracks.

"I'd like to ask you something too," started Andrew. "The Colonel never talks about his time before the war, and I always wondered where he is from. I mean, I know that Kinch is from Detroit, LeBeau was born in Paris, and Newkirk's hometown is London. But the Colonel never told us where he was born"

Jout hesitated. He didn't want to stir up old memories and his brother had certainly his reasons to never talk about their past.

He looked Carter in the eyes and saw the questioning look in the other man's face.

"We were born in Bridgeport, Connecticut. You?"

"Crabapple Junction, North Dakota. It's a suburb of Bullfrog, North Dakota"

"Bullfrog; interesting name," Joshua said.

"It's an Indian city," explained Carter.

"Is there anything special about it?"

Joshua was really interested in hearing the Sergeant's story. It seemed like Andrew had a great childhood, since he had smiled the whole time while talking about his hometown.

"A lot of Indian handcraft camps and contests. But you probably don't want to hear about it anyways"

"Of course I'm interested, why would you think otherwise?"

"Every time I start talking about Crabapple Junction, the other guys react annoyed and want me to shut up," Carter admitted sadly.

"Are you kidding me?" evoked Joshua. "Well, I'm not as stupid as the others are. You found your listener"

Carter's face lit up. "Really?"

"Yeah"

* * *

"And then my aunt came out of the house, screaming, and chased us around the neighborhood," Newkirk heard Andrew saying while entering the barracks.

Jout started to laugh. "I wish I had a cousin in my age to play tricks on other people when I was young"

"Has Carter already talked yer ear off?" mocked Newkirk.

He was sitting at the table and was playing cards with Kinch, LeBeau and Hogan.

Andrew knitted his brows, but Jout threw his arm around him and said, "No, he didn't. But he has told me that you guys don't like to listen to his stories. You're missing out on some great pranks"

"I'll ask ya again in a few weeks," smirked Peter.

"It's not like I was the only one talking. For example, Jout told me he's 20 years old, just like me" Andrew tried to defend himself.

"Vingt [twenty]? But how can you be an officer?" asked LeBeau Jout.

"I told you, Andrew. Everyone asks me that," joked Joshua.

He sat down besides Newkirk. "I joined the Air Core when I was fourteen. Signed up for the No. 121 Eagle Squadron [1] at the age of 17. Got transferred to the 324th Bomb Squadron in 1942"

"And your father was alright with you going to the military when you were 14?" questioned Kinch.

Jout saw how Rob was watching him.

He swallowed. "Ahem, he… he didn't mind"

 _Hopefully they buy it_

"Show them your tattoo, Jout!" exclaimed Carter.

"You have a tattoo?" remarked Hogan.

"It was a bet," admitted Jout sheepishly. "One of my comrades bet I would be promoted to 2nd Lieutenant before my 18th birthday. He was right, and that was the result"

Joshua rolled up his left sleeve to reveal the US Army Air Force logo.

"I thought if I already agreed to get one I would choose something that's important to me"

"It looks amazing," stated Newkirk.

"Magnifique [beautiful]"

"Thanks" responded Jout.

* * *

Jout laid down on his bunk after lights out. His brother lent him one of his pajamas until Jout's clothing would arrive.

He was tossing and turning, but couldn't seem to fall asleep even though he was completely exhausted. There were just so many things on his mind.

He thought about his brother.

And their past.

And that he would never forgive Rob for what he had done.

* * *

 **[1] Eagle Squadrons – Three fighter squadrons of the Royal Air Force, formed with volunteer**

 **pilots from the United States during the early days of World War II, prior to America's**

 **entry into the war in December 1941**


	4. Chapter 4

**Warnings: explicit language**

* * *

" _Where are you, you little bastard!" yelled a drunk voice from downstairs._

 _Jout ran towards his closet and tried to hide under a pile of clothes. His heart was beating so fast, he heard it pounding in his ears. Tears were starting to steam down his cheeks._

" _I know you're here, useless git!"_

 _The voice moved upstairs and was now close to Jout's room. As he heard the door open, he held his breath. Jout closed his eyes and send silent prayers to the sky, hoping something would happen that would free him from this misery._

" _I don't understand why you try to hide every time," started the voice again. "You know I'll find ya"_

 _The closet door was opened._

" _But obviously, you don't want to learn," laughed the voice._

 _The next moment, Jout was kicked right into the stomach and an intensely pain washed through his body._

 _It was the last thing Jout felt before he drifted away into the darkness._

He shot up in his bunk, trying to catch his breath. His eyes needed a few seconds to get used to the darkness. His whole body was trembling and sweating, and Joshua tried to find bruises on his body.

When he couldn't find any, he realized he wasn't in the clothing pile anymore.

He was in Germany.

 _Only a nightmare_ , Josh thought.

 _Everything is alright. He cannot harm me anymore; I'm safe._

Jout settled back into his bunk. But every time he closed his eyes, he saw the image of him in front of his eyes. He knew he would not sleep a wink the rest of the night.

Unaware to Josh, this incident had not remained unnoticed.

* * *

The next morning during roll call, Joshua stood in line behind LeBeau, trying hard to stay awake. His eyelids were heavy, and everything he wanted to do was creeping back into his bunk and sleep until the war would be over. He had eventually fell asleep, but shortly after he had succeeded to dream about something happier, a grumpy Schultz woke them up.

"Is everythin' alright, Jout?" the Englishman asked. "Ya look like 'ell"

"Thanks for the charming words, Newkirk," the young Lieutenant answered. "I'm fine"

Newkirk seemed not completely convinced; therefore Jout added quickly, "It's just that I'm not used to sleep in a POW camp"

A tired smile appeared on his face.

"You will get used to it, trust me," said Carter.

They heard Klink yelling, "Dismissed!" and then made their way back to the barracks.

Before entering, Kinch stopped Hogan and informed him of London's latest message. "London is getting impatient. They want to speak to _Golden Eagle_ "

Hogan sighed. He had hoped to have more time before telling Jout about the operation. He had wanted to find out more about his little brother's past years in the military. But he also knew he couldn't let London wait any longer.

"Tell them he is on his way, but wait until he is in my office"

Kinch nodded and walked inside. He sat down at the common table and thankfully accepted the cup of coffee LeBeau had offered him. It was one of those long nights again, where he had only slept about 2 hours or so, staying awake to work the radio station.

Jout had chatted with Andrew about the best way to spend the day as a POW, when Hogan ordered, "Newkirk, LeBeau, Carter, Joshua, in my office"

* * *

"You are kidding me, right? I mean, this can't be true!" exclaimed Jout.

"It is true, Josh," Hogan started. "We are a special operations group with orders to help Allied soldiers escape back to England, and sabotage the German war effort whenever possible"

Hogan had settled himself onto the stool beside his desk. He knew it wouldn't be easy to explain their operation to his brother. Especially because it meant to tell him he had to stay in the camp until the war would be over.

"But, … how?" asked a startled Joshua.

"Well, we have an excellent tunnel system. From the hidden tunnel entrance under your and Kinch's bunk, we can reach almost every barracks in this camp. Including the Kommandant's office. Carter is pretty decent in handling explosives," Hogan explained.

Jout looked over to the young Sergeant who was standing beside the bunk bed, smiling shyly.

"LeBeau and Newkirk are in charge of making uniforms. And Corporal Newkirk is also an expert at forging documents and pick-pocketing," he added.

Jout glared at the other two persons in the room. He looked back at his brother and said, "So, you expect me…to believe that the Allied High Command sent **you** to this place to build a sabotage unit. In the middle of Germany"

He made direct eye contact with his brother. "We both know what happened the last time I had trusted you"

Hogan tried to say something, but Jout interjected, "Alright, suppose I buy it. Why did you tell me? I have only been here for one day. If this were really such a secret operation, you wouldn't spill the beans to anyone who just arrived the other day. Not even if the person would be your brother"

The room fell silent. Everyone waited for Hogan to answer.

"London wants to talk to you"

Hogan saw the disbelief in his brother's face, so he continued. "Actually, a General Gallagher informed us that his orders are from the very top. Do you have any idea what this could be about?"

Jout gulped. The name of the general totally caught him off guard. The last time he saw him, Joshua was with the RAF, as a Senior Airman.

It had to be about two years ago. Before **it** had happened.

"Josh? Are you alright?"

Rob's voice took him back to reality.

"Ahem, I don't know why he would want to talk to me. The last time I saw him was two years ago, at a dinner with President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill," explained Joshua.

He looked to the ground.

"Wait, what?" Peter jumped up from his place at the lower bunk. "Ya met ol' Winnie?"

"And the President?" Carter added, stunned.

Jout scratched his neck.

Before he could say anything further, Hogan raised his voice again, "We don't have time for that now. You can tell us this story later. Now you need to talk to London, and that's an order!"

* * *

"Goldilocks calling Mama Bear," said Hogan through the microphone.

" _Ah, Goldilocks,"_ answered General Gallagher. _"When can I speak with Golden Eagle?"_

"He is right beside me. Just one moment"

Hogan handed the microphone over to Jout and waited for him to speak.

Unsure of how to start, Jout simply said, "Golden Eagle speaking"

" _Great to hear your voice! How are you, my boy_?" the voice asked.

"I'm fine, General. But why did you ask to speak to me?"

The whole room waited for the General to answer. No one could think of any reason, why London would risk blowing up the whole operation and risking the life of every prisoner just to talk to one downed flyer.

" _We have a problem,"_ the General started.

" _The Allied High Command has reason to believe that there is a spy in this control center"_


	5. Chapter 5

Everyone was shocked.

"A spy?" asked Joshua perplexed.

" _Unfortunately yes,"_ answered General Gallagher. _"And because of that assumption I need to know if there was anything strange happening during your capture"_

Joshua replayed the capture in his head. The other guys watched him closely, and waited for him to answer the General's question.

"No, I don't thinks so," Joshua replied.

But a few seconds later, light dawned on him.

"Now it makes sense," he said more to himself than to the General.

"What is it?" Hogan cut in.

"First of all, we were shot down by at least ten fighter squadrons. It seemed like every German plane was coming after me," started Joshua. "And, I told you my crew and I were brought to Gestapo headquarters after a patrol caught us, didn't I?"

"You did; that's were you got your swollen lip" Hogan pointed at Joshua's burst lip.

"Well, we were led into an office with a Luftwaffe General and a Gestapo major. A General Burkhalter and a Major Hochstetter. Immediately, the Major asked which one of us would be _Golden Eagle_. I didn't say anything at first because I was startled about the fact that he knew I was in that plane. But he threatened to hurt my crew, so I told him about me and forgot about it. Until now," he explained nineteen to the dozen [1].

" _So we were right,"_ said General Gallagher through the microphone.

"Why haven't I noticed sooner?" wondered Joshua, throwing his head in his hands.

"What do you mean, Jout?" questioned Andrew.

"Don't ya see the wood for the trees, mate?" exclaimed Newkirk. " 'ow did 'ochstetter knew Josh was part of the crew the Germans shot down?"

"And how did the Germans knew which plane they had to shoot down in order to get hold of him?" added Kinch.

"Mon dieu!" LeBeau hissed knowingly.

Carter still had no idea what the others were talking about, so Joshua helped him understand. "Andrew, the only way Hochstetter could have known I was in that plane, is if they have a spy in London who knew about the bombing mission"

Joshua turned his attention back to General Gallagher who had listened to the whole conversation. "It has to be someone who was involved with the whole check up. We had to change planes in the last minute because the bomber I usually fly with was still in repair. This only leaves my CO, Colonel Lindh and the chief of mechanics, Captain Norval. Oh, and I had to get a new parachute for the replacement plane. If I remember correctly, it was Sergeant Hidland who was in charge of the equipment"

" _Alright, we are going to find out which one of those three gave the information to the Germans,"_ declared General Gallagher.

Kinch disconnected the Heroes with London.

Hogan was just about to leave for his office, with the other guys right behind him, when Joshua asked, "Rob, could you do me a favor?"

Hogan turned around, surprised by the sudden warmth in Joshua's voice. "Sure, what is it?"

"Can you find out to which camp the Gestapo brought my crew? I'm responsible for them and I hate not knowing where they are. Please?" pleaded Jout as he saw Rob biting his lip.

Normally, Hogan would have said no. This request was not necessary to fulfill any orders and there was the risk of rising suspicion, especially since they just found out that a spy was in the London Control Center. On the other hand, it was the first time since his brother's arrival that Rob didn't felt any hatred in Jout's behavior, and maybe that was his chance to start reconciling with him.

"Sure," he caved in. "Just give Kinch the names"

Jout smiled. It was a genuine smile, and Hogan knew he had made the right decision.

"Great, thank you"

Jout turned around to Kinch who had made his way back to the radio station. "Their names are Staff Sergeant Stanley MacQuoid, Senior Airman Ralph Sallow and Airman Daniel Relish"

Kinch wrote the names down and started to send back to London. Jout and the other men made their way back to the barracks.

* * *

It was late afternoon. Jout played cards with Newkirk and Carter, LeBeau was cooking some French dish at the stove and Kinch was reading. Hogan sat beside Carter and watched the men playing.

"Josh, what is the story behind you meeting Roosevelt and Churchill?" he asked his brother.

Newkirk and Carter raised their eyebrows, since they were interested in hearing that story since Jout had first mentioned it in the morning. LeBeau and Kinch joined the man at the table, since they were curious about it, too.

Jout smiled and folded his cards. "Like I said, it was a dinner at the White House in 1941. President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill had met in Washington D.C. for a defense consulting. On Churchill's last day in the US, Roosevelt held a banquet with the high and mighty from the whole military. Army, Navy, Air Force. I think he tried to impress him," laughed Jout.

"They called me home for the banquet from the No. 121 Eagle Squadron I was with at the time. I left England in the morning and was back at my base 24 hours later. I really had no idea why I was invited. I was a young 2nd Lieutenant who hadn't achieved anything special that would explain my invitation. I was told that my excellent bombing rate combined with my age were the reason for it"

He looked back at his cards and added, "And this is the story how I met Roosevelt and Churchill"

"Did ya talked to 'em?" wanted Newkirk to know.

Jout smiled. "Yeah, I actually got to meet them, both. Churchill really has a great humor"

"Boy, I would love to meet the President," Carter commented. "I saw him at the newsreels a lot"

"You know what, after the war, I will introduce you to him," Jout suggested.

"You could do that?" Carter was as excited as a little kid on Christmas Eve.

"Of course, I still have contact to him. And to the First Lady; she sent me a cake on my birthday," explained Jout proudly.

"I don't believe ya," said Newkirk. "Do ya 'ave any proof?"

"You bet I do," declared Jout and went over to his flight jacket which laid on his bunk bed. He fumbled with his inner pockets and retrieved an envelope. Jout made his way back to the common table and threw the envelope right in front of Newkirk.

"Read it"

Newkirk took out the letter and started to read.

"Blimey!" he marveled.

"What?" asked LeBeau.

" 'e told the truth. In this letter, Eleanor Roosevelt is congratulating 'im on 'is birthday. And she writes about the bloody cake!" Newkirk exclaimed.

Jout put the letter back in his pocket.

"I told you, I have high connections"

* * *

It was almost time for lights out when Kinch stormed into Hogan's office. Jout and the others followed him immediately.

"They got him, Colonel," was all Kinch said.

"Who was it?" wanted Hogan to know.

"It was the equipment clerk, Sergeant Hidland. His real name is Werner Beck"

"And who is he working for?"

"Abwehr [2]; German intelligence "

"Did London know anything else about him?"

"Not right now. They will send again in the morning," answered Kinch.

"Well, until then, I think we should lie down and try to get some sleep," announced Hogan.

* * *

 **[1] nineteen to the dozen – English proverb: to talk rapidly**

 **[2] Abwehr – The Abwehr was a German military intelligence organization which existed from 1920**

 **to 1945, involved in espionage.**


	6. Chapter 6

Jout was playing volleyball with some prisoners from other barracks. It was one week since he was shot down and landed in this camp.

One week living in the same barracks as his brother.

This was the reason why he was with some other guys most of the time.

Not that he didn't like the men from Barracks 2; especially Carter grew to be one of his closest friends he had ever had. In just one week, the young Sergeant from North Dakota found his way right into Joshua's heart, with his clumsiness and childish behavior, he triggered a nerve in Jout which made him feel like a big brother who needs to protect Carter from all the bad things happening around them.

But the problem was his brother.

Rob always tried to talk to him about their past, and that was something Joshua didn't want to do.

Because every time Jout looked at Rob, his anger started rising up inside of him and his only wish was to punch Hogan in the face for all the pain he had caused.

So his daily routine consisted of leaving the barracks right after morning roll call, telling his brother who had asked to talk to him that they would talk later because Jout had promised some other prisoners to help them with something. Then he would hide from Hogan the rest of the day in barracks 5, playing cards with his newly found friends, and after evening roll call he would pretend to be fast asleep.

It really was exhausting, but it was better than to deal with the pain he had tried to put away from him for so long.

Today was one of the better days. His stuff had arrived with the Red Cross packages and yesterday evening he had overheard his brother talking about some mission, he and his crew had to complete today, so Joshua was able to spend his day without worrying.

He had no idea how wrong he was.

* * *

After the game, Joshua made his way back to his barracks. As he entered the room, he saw Carter and the others sitting at the table.

They did not look happy.

"Everything's alright?" he asked while pouring himself a cup of tea.

He was surprised to see them in here since he thought they had to prepare their mission, but he tried to act as nonchalant as possible. He didn't want them to know that he knows about their mission.

He walked over to Newkirk and settled himself next to the Brit.

"Not really," Carter answered depressed.

Jout gave him a questioning look and Kinch enlightened him. "We have a problem. You know, we have orders from London to steal the plans for the Siegfried Line, a defensive line at the border with the Netherlands, in order to start a successful attack"

"And what's the problem with that?" interjected Joshua. "From all you've told me, this should be one of your easier schemes"

"Yeah, but the problem is that these plans are hidden in Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel's [1] mansion," Carter started.

"And the only way to enter his mansion is to attend a party that is held tomorrow, for Hitler's birthday," finished LeBeau.

"Could you please make this story short?" Jout sighed.

"You need at least two people for this job," Jout heard his brother saying.

He turned around and saw Hogan emerging from his room.

"Two men who are fluent in German, so they pass as German officers. One needs to distract the party guests and the other has to make pictures of those plans," Hogan clarified further.

Jout understood what his brother tried to say. "And I suppose nobody in this camp speaks German?"

"You're right. Nobody except for me," his brother said.

Hogan went to the stove to get himself a cup of coffee.

Meanwhile, Jout bit his lip.

He had sworn to himself he would keep his distance to this whole operation group, mainly because of his brother.

Everything Jout did was to avoid Hogan.

But now that they needed someone who could speak German, someone like Joshua, to get those important plans made him rethink his decision.

After all, Joshua was an Allied officer who had sworn to do everything in his power to defeat the Nazis, regardless of his personal problems.

" 'ow can it be no one in this bloody camp can speak German?" Newkirk ranted.

"I'm fluent in German," Jout admitted finally.

Everyone looked at him, which made Joshua a little uneasy. He didn't like to be the center of attention. A character trait that had probably derived from his childhood.

"Where did you learn to speak _allemande_?" asked a baffled LeBeau.

"Every officer going to the European Theater was forced to learn the basics. One of my comrades had German ancestors, and he taught me the rest," Jout explained.

"Boy, this means we can steal those plans," Carter called out.

The other guys started to cheer when Hogan interrupted, "Hold it, hold it! Just because Josh can speak German doesn't mean he can go out with me to this party. He has no experience with playing a German officer"

The room fell silent.

"I'm not really crazy about the idea either to pose as a German officer. And to spend more time with you than I already have to," Joshua admitted.

He saw how Hogan's face turned from curiosity to hurt, but he didn't care about his feelings at all.

Neither did his brother 13 years ago.

And he really didn't care about the others at that moment; they already knew he and his brother were on no good terms. Jout's behavior the last week was evident.

"But what other option do you have? You need to get those plans. And the only way to accomplish that is having me on this mission"

Hogan was still unsure about his brother's proposal. He knew Jout was right, but he didn't want him to be in any dangerous situation.

 _Not again._

"Come on, Rob. You know I'm right"

Hogan sighed.

"Newkirk, we need two _Wehrmacht_ uniforms. _Oberst_ (Colonel) for me, and make Josh a Captain ( _Hauptmann_ )," Hogan ordered.

"Sure, gov'nor. Only need Jout's measures"

"Kinch, I need an invitation. Has the mail already arrived?"

"About one minute ago"

"Carter, go get Klink's invitation. Give it to Kinch so he can make a perfect copy for us, then destroy Klink's"

"I'm on my way, Sir," smiled Carter.

"What should I do?" asked LeBeau.

"Help Newkirk with the uniforms," Hogan said.

He turned to face Joshua. "You are going with them, so they can make your uniform. When they have everything they need, I want you to come to my office"

With that, Hogan walked back into the smaller room.

"Ya 'eard 'im, Jout. Come with us," Newkirk said.

* * *

"You wanted to speak to me?" said Joshua, and walked into his brother's office.

"If it's about him, I will turn around and walk out of this room right away, you know that"

"We can't circle around that topic forever," Hogan started.

Joshua was about to turn around when he heard Hogan continue, "But right now, I want to talk to you about the mission"

Jout stopped in his tracks, and Rob motioned for him to come closer.

"We are going as two German officers from the 1st Panzer Division. I will be a Colonel and you will be my aide"

"Why the 1st Panzer Division?"

"Because they are stationed at the Eastern Front. This minimizes the chance that someone at the party will know us and gets suspicious"

Hogan pointed at the map on the wall. "This is the floor plan of Keitel's mansion. The party will be held in his banquet hall in the west end. To reach his office with the plans, you have to sneak upstairs using the staircase in the back of the house, so that no one will see you. His office lies across these two hallways. The plans are hidden in a safe that is disguised as a liquor cabin next to his desk. The combination is 2-18-69-5"

"What are you doing while I sneak through a German field marshal's house?" asked Jout, emphasizing the fact that they talk about a Field Marshal who will probably have major safety devices.

"I will try to get Field Marshal Keitel's attention by engaging him in a conversation, and by that distract him and the other high Kraut officers. This will hopefully buy you enough time to photograph the plans and maybe search in his office for any other helpful information"

Joshua crossed his arms and stared at the map in front of him. "If I pose as your aide, how will I leave your side without arising suspicion?"

"You will 'meet' some old comrades and ask to talk to them. You will leave us, go upstairs, and after you finished the mission, you will retreat to us. Then I will excuse ourselves and we will leave immediately"

"Alright. How do we get there? I mean, that's about twenty miles, maybe more"

Hogan pushed the map inside its hiding place behind a fake wooden plank. "We bribed the guy from the motor pool. About two miles from here, he will park a staff car. We will ditch it there afterwards and walk the rest back to the camp"

"I only have one last question," Jout said.

"Go ahead"

"How much time do I have?"

"I don't know yet. It depends on how fast I can get to the Field Marshal. LeBeau gave Schultz some strudel, so we know Klink's going to make a bed-check at 10pm. Since the party starts at 7pm, we will leave at 7:30, which gives us two hours and a half for the whole operation. I think you'll have five, maybe ten minutes. Fifteen at the uttermost," Hogan explained.

He was nervous, which was unusual for him. It wasn't the first time he went as a German officer, but it was the first time his brother went with him. He wanted to protect him from any harm that could happen to him.

But he also knew that without Jout, they could never get their hands on these plans, which were tremendously important for the Allied troops trying to invade Germany.

"Before this operation starts, I have to inform you that if the Germans catch you in a German uniform, you will be shot as a spy without any trial. Do you understand that?"

Joshua looked his brother in the eyes.

"I do"

* * *

 **[1] Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel was a German field marshal who served as chief of the High Command of the Armed Forces (OKW) for most of World War II. He was promoted to the rank of field marshal on July 19, 1940. Following the war, Keitel was charged with war crimes and crimes against humanity by the International Military Tribunal at Nuremberg. He was found guilty, sentenced to death and executed in 1946. He was the third highest-ranking German officer to be tried at Nuremberg.**


	7. Chapter 7

**There will be a lot of German in this chapter, but I will translate it immediately. I just think that it's better to use German because it's more plausible that the Germans talked German with each other and not English, and therefore I think the story will be more realistic. If you don't like it or think there is a better way to use another language with the translation, please let me know it.**

* * *

After evening roll call, Jout found himself standing in the tunnel wearing a German uniform and Newkirk made final preparations with his hat.

" 'ere ya go. I 'ave to say, ya really look like a Kraut officer"

"Hopefully the Jerries think that too"

Jout turned around and saw Hogan climbing down the ladder.

"Are you ready?" he asked his younger brother.

"Yes"

"Repeat the mission"

Jout rolled his eyes. In the last three hours, Rob wanted him to repeat everything at least a hundred times. You could wake him in the middle of the night by now and he still could tell you every single detail.

"You are Oberst Kurt Hagen from the 1st Panzer Division which is currently stationed at the Eastern Front near Stalingrad. I'm your aide, Hauptmann Erich Sommer. The reason we can attend the party is that we had information about a Russian resistance group and you had a meeting with the Gestapo in Berlin. There we received the invitation and tomorrow we are going back to the Eastern Front. While you talk to Keitel, I will go into his office, make photos of those plans in his safe, which combination is 2-18-69-5, will search for any other information in his office, and then I will make my way back to your side"

He looked Hogan in the eyes and said, "I can do it, trust me"

"Alright, let's move out"

"What happens when the two of you are not back before 10 o'clock?" asked Kinch.

He never showed it or said anything to anyone, but every time someone is leaving the camp for a mission, Kinch's stomach twisted and this feeling always lasted until they were back in camp. Today this feeling was even stronger, probably because of Jout's involvement.

"Let's just hope we come back in time, because I have no idea what happens otherwise," said Hogan and climbed up through the exit in the false tree stump.

* * *

Hogan waited until Joshua made it through the exit and motioned for him to follow. They sneaked through the forest behind the camp, careful that no one of Klink's guard noticed them. About two miles south of them was one of Klink's staff cars.

Jout took a deep breath when he sat behind the wheel and started the engine. He drove on a dirt road for the first mile, which lead to a paved road. After about five more miles they had to pass through a roadblock.

"What are we going to do now?" Jout asked nervously.

He already felt how his hands began to tremble.

"Just stay calm and let me handle the talking"

Jout stopped the car in front of the roadblock and cranked the window down.

" _Sie müssen umkehren. Die Straße ist für jeden gesperrt,_ " said the young soldier who kept guard. ["You have to turn around. The street is blocked for everybody"]

Hogan leaned over. " _Gefreiter, ich habe eine Einladung zum Geburtstag des Führers bei Feldmarschall Wilhelm Keitel. Es würde ihm bestimmt nicht gefallen, wenn ich wegen einer Straßensperre nicht dieser Feierlichkeit beiwohnen könnte_ " ["Private, I have been invited to the Fuhrer's birthday party at Field Marshal Wilhelm Keitel's. I think he wouldn't like it if I couldn't attend this celebration because of a roadblock"]

" _Der Geburtstag des Führers? Natürlich können Sie weiterfahren, Oberst. Entschuldigen Sie die Unannehmlichkeiten_ " ["The Fuhrer's birthday? Of course you can pass, Colonel. Please excuse the inconveniences"]

The soldier hurried back to the booth and opened the barrier. He snapped to a salute as the car drove off.

"You really scared that kid," laughed Jout, every tension he had felt a few minutes ago vanished.

"Just gotta mention Old Bubblehead and they do whatever you want," smirked Hogan.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, they reached Keitel's mansion. Jout was shown where to park by a Kraut soldier. After he stopped the car, he looked at the pompously arranged entrance. There was a path leading to the doorway, framed by marble statues that reminded him of ancient Greek statues. On the right side was a fountain, and on the left stood a huge pine tree. As he looked closer on the doorway, he saw two soldiers securing the entrance with their weapon at the ready.

"Here we are," Jout said with his eyes still focused on the entrance.

Hogan looked at his watch. "It's a quarter past eight. We have to leave this place not later than a quarter past nine, so that we are back in camp when Klink's doing his bed-check"

"From now on we only speak German, understood?" he asked.

" _Verstanden,"_ answered Jout. ["Understood"]

They left the car and made their way to the mansion. As they reached the two soldiers, Hogan took the invitation out of the inner pocket from his coat. He approached the soldiers and they snapped to attention.

Jout and Hogan saluted back, and Hogan said, _"Ich bin Oberst Kurt Hagen, 1. Panzer Division. Das ist mein Adjutant, Hauptmann Erich Sommer. Ich habe eine Einladung von Feldmarschall Keitel erhalten, den Geburtstag des Führers zu feiern"_ ["My name is Colonel Kurt Hagen, 1st Panzer Division. This is my aide, Captain Erich Sommer. I have received an invitation from Field Marshal Keitel to celebrate the Fuhrer's birthday"]

He gave on of the soldiers the phony invitation. The German sergeant looked it over briefly, then gave it back to Hogan and stepped aside.

Hogan nodded thankfully, and the two brothers walked into the house. Immediately, one of the waiters came over and handed them two glasses of champagne. Then he led Hogan and Jout to the banquet hall.

After he left, Jout said, _"Netter Service"_ ["Nice service"]

Hogan observed the crowd, which consisted only of highly decorated German officers, and tried to find his objective.

Jout did the same and laughed, _"Ich kenne zwar unseren Kommandanten noch nicht lange, aber mit diesen hohen Tieren hier frage ich mich schon, wie er zu einer Einladung kam"_ ["I only know our commandant for a few days, but with this top brass here I really ask myself how Klink got an invitation"]

" _Das frage ich mich auch,"_ Hogan replied. ["I ask myself that, too"]

At last, Jout spotted the Field Marshal and pointed Hogan in that direction.

Hogan nodded and murmured, _"Fangen wir an"_ ["Let's begin"]

They slowly moved to a small group at the back of the hall. Field Marshall Keitel was currently talking to a general and a colonel. The men's aides were standing next to them.

Hogan approached them and greeted, _"Guten Abend, Herr Feldmarschall. Ich bin Oberst Kurt Hagen und ich wollte nur mal schnell den Gastgeber dieser Feierlichkeiten begrüßen und mich für die Einladung bedanken"_ ["Good evening, Field Marshall. I'm Colonel Kurt Hagen and I just wanted to greet the host of the festivities and give my thanks to you"]

" _Ist doch nicht der Rede wert, Oberst. Immerhin ist heute der Geburtstag des Führers, den sollte man schon angemessen feiern,"_ said Keitel. ["It was nothing, Colonel. Today, after all, is the Fuhrer's birthday which should be celebrated appropriately"]

Hogan tried to involve him into a conversation. _"Ich möchte Sie nicht länger stören, aber ich wollte mich nur noch mal für Ihren Besuch an der Ostfront bedanken. Sie haben die Moral der Männer erheblich verbessert"_ ["I don't want to bother you any further, but I would like to thank you for your visit at the Eastern Front. You really improved the men's moral"]

" _Das hört man doch immer gerne,"_ the Field Marshal replied. ["That's nice to hear"]

* * *

Hogan was talking to Keitel and the two others for about ten minutes and successfully integrated himself into the group. He gave Jout a sign to start with the mission.

Jout slightly nodded and raised his voice. _"Entschuldigen Sie, Oberst, aber ich habe gerade ehemalige Kameraden aus meiner Zeit in der Grundausbildung entdeckt. Dürfte ich mich kurz entschuldigen und sie begrüßen?"_ ["Excuse me, Colonel, but I just saw former comrades from basic training. Could I excuse myself and greet them?"]

" _Natürlich, Sommer,"_ Hogan said and turned his attention back to Keitel, who just told a story about a battle in Word War I. ["Of course, Sommer"]

Jout left the group and walked back to the banquet's hall entry. In order that nobody would get suspicious about the reason why he left the banquet hall, Jout asked a waiter where he would find the restrooms. Luckily for him, the restrooms were in the same direction as the staircase he was heading for.

He moved to the restrooms and after he made sure that no one was around, he turned right and went upstairs. Before he reached the upper hallway, Jout peaked around the corner. Everything was clear and he sneaked along the wall.

He stopped in his tracks when he heard laughter coming from the hallway with the office. His heart sank to his boots. He looked panicky for a hiding place, and decided to hide in the room behind him. He quietly opened the door and quickly moved inside. He gently closed the door behind him and leaned against the wall in complete darkness. He heard his heart pounding in his ears and tried to control his breathing. The laughter came closer and Jout hold his breath. He heard the laughter passing the door and moving away. He carefully opened the door and looked around once more. Since he saw no one on the hallway, he left his hideout and walked over to the office.

Jout tried to open the door, but it was locked. In that moment, he smiled and said to himself he needed to thank Newkirk. Before he left the camp, Newkirk came up to him and handed Jout his picklock and said, "Better safe than sorry". He set to work and a few seconds later, he managed to open the door. He put the picklock back in his uniform pocket and went inside to look for the fake liquor cabin. He found it and opened it up, retrieving some books and money until he held the right plans in his hands.

Jout spread the plans on the desk, making pictures of the German defensive positions along the Siegfried Line in the Netherlands with a tiny camera hidden in his sleeve. He put the plans back in the safe and looked through the other plans and books. He found a plan for a new offensive at the Eastern Front, with troop movements and new war plants. He photographed that, too, and looked at his watch. It was already 9 o'clock which meant they had to leave in fifteen minutes. Jout placed everything back in the safe and made sure it looked exactly the same to prevent Keitel from noticing that someone meddled with his safe.

* * *

Back at the banquet hall, Hogan became more and more anxious as the time passed. The longer they were staying at the party, the higher was the risk that their cover would blow. He stared at the doorway without attracting Keitel's attention and hoped his brother would come back soon. Much to Hogan's relief, Jout entered the hall smiling.

Hogan turned his attention back to the Field Marshal, looked at his watch and said, _"Sehen Sie nur wie die Zeit vergeht meine Herren! Ich muss mich jetzt aber leider verabschieden"_ ["Time flies, gentlemen! I'm afraid I have to say goodbye"]

" _Jetzt schon, Oberst? Es ist doch gerade einmal neun Uhr,"_ pointed Keitel out. ["Already, Colonel? It's only 9 o'clock"]

" _Ich würde wirklich gerne bleiben, aber ich muss morgen wieder an die Ostfront zurück. Ich bin schon lange genug weg und meine Männer brauchen mich. Dann auf Wiedersehen,"_ Hogan said and walked towards Jout. ["I really would like to stay, but I have to be back at the Eastern Front by tomorrow. I'm gone long enough and my men need me. Goodbye"]

Hogan joined Jout and together they left the house and made their way back to the car.

"I can't believe it worked and that we made it out without any major incident," exclaimed Jout.

He laid back into the seat and closed his eyes.

"Did you get everything?"

"Yeah, plus pictures about a new offensive and new war factories"

"Carter will develop the film tomorrow morning and someone from the Underground will pick it up in the evening"

Hogan looked at his brother and said, "Let's drive back. We don't want to be late"

* * *

Carter, Newkirk, LeBeau and Kinch sat at the common table in their pajamas and waited for the Colonel and Jout to return.

"What should we do if they don't make it in time?" Carter asked. "I mean, how should we explain that to Klink?"

"Don't worry, André. I'm sure they will be here in a few minutes," LeBeau calmly said.

LeBeau tried to appear as confident as possible; but he had to admit that he was also worried about them. He never was fond of officers, but he really liked the Colonel. Hogan was the first American soldier he met who wanted to fight the Nazis and free his beloved France as much as LeBeau wanted.

"I sure hope nothing happened to them. After all, they stepped into the lion's den," said Carter.

Newkirk was about to say something when the tunnel entrance opened and Jout came up.

"Hey, guys," he greeted.

Hogan was right behind him and closed the entrance after he had stepped into the main room.

"Colonel! Jout! Boy am I glad you're back!" exclaimed Carter.

"And not a moment too soon," Kinch said. "It's 5 to 10"

"Then let's go to bed fast, we talk after Klink left," announced Hogan and everyone did as he said.

Right after Jout had closed his eyes, the door was torn open by Klink. Everyone moaned in order to show Klink their displeasure. He left the barracks five minutes later, happy that nobody had escaped, and marched off to the next barracks.

Hogan opened his door and the sabotage group went to the table to talk about the obviously successful mission and to learn about the further procedure.

At the end of the day, Jout lay in his bunk, proud of himself for getting the badly needed information and because of that helping the Allied war effort tremendously.


	8. Chapter 8

Jout was in the clothing section trying on the uniforms Newkirk and LeBeau had made for him. Jout had decided to join the sabotage group after his successful mission at Field Marshal Keitel's mansion. Although it meant to spend more time with his brother, Jout was really proud of himself for helping the Allies and he wanted to continue this help. He didn't want to say he spent almost the entire war just in a POW camp doing nothing. He wished to be part of the group who helped defeating Hitler and the Nazis.

The last uniform also fitted perfectly, and so Jout started to undress himself again. He took of his shirt and turned around to the desk behind him where his American flying uniform lay. It was the same as Hogan's uniform, except for the jacket, which was army-green with a fur collar, and his hat, which was a brown garrison cap [1].

He was completely lost in his thoughts, which is why he didn't notice that someone was watching him.

* * *

Newkirk was on his way to the clothing section to check with Jout when he saw something that made him stop dead. He moved a few steps back and peaked around the corner to double-check his observation. What he was seeing gave him goosebumps and made him angry at the same time.

Combined with snippets of conversations between the two brothers he had overheard, Newkirk suddenly realized what the fight between Jout and Hogan was all about and why it left Jout so embittered.

He took another peak and saw that Jout was dressed in his uniform again and started to fold the German uniforms. Newkirk took a deep breath to calm down and walked around the corner.

"I see ya're already done. 'ow do they fit?" he asked.

Jout looked up from the table. "They all fit great! You and LeBeau are excellent tailors"

Newkirk smiled and waved it off. "Don't get carried away! We are not the only ones who can tailor clothes"

"Sure, but you two are terrific! Do you have any experience with tailoring? Cause I'm really bad with needles," Jout joked.

"I sometimes 'elped at a friend's tailorin' before the war. To make some extra quid," he answered and took the uniforms to put them on a hanger.

"What's quid?" Jout asked

"Money. I sometimes forget that ya Yanks don't know 'ow to speak the King's English"

"The King's English? I maybe know nothing about British slang, but I'm pretty sure the King would never say quid"

"Ya're maybe right with 'at," Newkirk smirked. "But only maybe"

They started to laugh when Newkirk thought of the upcoming volleyball tournament between the barracks that evening. Hogan thought it would be a good idea to boost the men's moral and help them develop friendships if they play together. After all, they are jammed together in this camp and had to do the best out of the situation until the war would be over.

" 'ey, do ya want to play in our volleyball team? We still need one man"

"I would like to, but aren't we fifteen men in the barracks? How comes you guys need me?"

Newkirk threw a blanket over the clothes rack to keep the dust from the tunnel away. "The gov'nor doesn't play, and we decided to form two teams, so 'at everyone 'as a chance to play"

"I see" They walked back to the ladder leading to the barracks. "And who is in our team?"

"Me, LeBeau, Carter, Kinch, Garlotti, Beauchamp, and ya"

Jout watched as Newkirk climbed up and said, "That's sounds like a lot of fun"

* * *

Hogan leaned against the barracks' wall and observed the tournament. About a month ago, he was able to convince Klink that the games would not be used as a distraction for escape attempts or tunnel digging. And this time this was really the case. He had noticed the men acting more and more hostile to the other prisoners from other barracks and he hoped the friendly rivalry during the tournament could help the men start bonding.

Hogan sighed as he watched Jout laughing with the others. He had never thought to see his little brother again. And even though he could understand why Jout was angry at him, he wished he could just turn back time to prevent everything that had happened, so that he would now still have a brother. And being around him all the time, and not being able to just hug him and tell him how terrible sorry he is for what happened, made the whole situation even worse.

He pinched the back of his nose. He had to do something. He had to explain everything he hadn't the chance to tell Jout thirteen years ago.

And maybe it wouldn't change anything. Perhaps Jout would never forgive him and he had lost his brother forever.

But maybe he could straighten things out.

Maybe.

* * *

The next day started like any other day, with the disliked roll call. The only good thing was that it was almost May, which meant summer was coming up and with that the cold disappeared. Everyone was happy to strip off one's gloves and wool socks and finally being able to catch some sun. And the men were especially happy after the successful tournament. Barracks 2 was able to beat barracks 8 in the final game, thanks to a decisive move from LeBeau. Now he was "the hero of barracks 2" and he was treated like a king. At least yesterday. But more important for Hogan was that his plan worked and the prisoners were friendly towards each other again.

Hogan had also decided it was time for him to talk with Jout, if he wanted to or not.

That's why Hogan led his brother into his office right after Klink had held one of his boring monologues. He closed his door and lingered in front of it to prevent Jout from leaving.

"What's going on?" he asked suspiciously.

Hogan crossed his arms. "I know that you don't want to talk about it…"

"Oh no!" Jout interjected. "You're not starting with this topic again"

Jout tried to shove his brother away from the door, but Hogan managed to hold his position.

He pushed him away from the door and said, "Yes, I do. Don't you see what happened to us?"

Hogan stared Jout in the eyes. "Don't you see that he destroyed our relationship?"

"He did" Jout straightened his clothes. "But you threw our remaining relationship away the moment you left!"

He turned around to wipe his tears away. He knew exactly why he had avoided the past all those years. His distant attitude towards most of the people he knew was a result from a lot of hurtful experiences, and only a few managed to make the walls he had built around himself crumble.

Like Carter and Newkirk.

"I had to leave," he heard Hogan say. "Otherwise everything would have gone out of hands"

"Everything would have gone out of hands?" Jout clenched his fists and turned around slowly. "Are you kidding me? How should it have gone any worse than it already was? How?"

Hogan lowered his glance. "I would have probably killed him"

"And why haven't you done it?" Jout's voice was low and threatening.

"Because it isn't right to kill another human being"

"Did he ever do what was ethical?!" yelled Jout. "And do you think he just stopped when you left?"

Hogan was at a loss of words. For the first time in his life, he didn't know what to say.

"I was all alone, Rob! Mum was dead and you left me. No one protected me from his abuse. You just gave our father another reason for beating the crap out of me!"

Hogan flinched at the immense volume of Jout's voice. He knew that by now everyone in the main room would know about their father. Although Hogan had always tried to hide his past, because he felt incredibly guilty for leaving Jout with their abusive father, he didn't care about his reputation at all in that moment. He only cared about his devastated brother in front of him, who was finally able to let Hogan past his wall built out of hatred and disappointment.

He moved forward to Jout, but he went to the bunk to avoid him.

Hogan sighed and looked to the ground. "I know this doesn't make up for what you've been through, but I'm terribly sorry for what happened. If I could turn back time, I would slap myself and take you with me. You have to believe me"

"Well, you're right. This apology doesn't make up for anything that I've went through," Jout snorted. "I mean, he bashed you, too. So you knew what would happen to me when you left. And you did it anyways"

"I was only eighteen, Josh. I was practically still a child back then"

"And I was seven! I trusted you, and looked up to you. I thought of you as my guardian…and you let me down. I had no one else!"

Jout looked to the window. "Do you know that he almost killed me four times?"

A bewildered look on Hogan's face appeared. "What?"

"You heard right. Four times I knocked on heaven's door… And there were times I wished Almighty God would have taken me into his kingdom and released me from my misery. But I realized I can call myself lucky to still be alive. Cause now I have the chance to do some good in this world by defeating the Nazis and free Europe from their tyranny"

Jout stood up from the lower bunk and went to the door.

He turned around before he opened it and said, "We might have the same last name, but there's nothing else that connects us…I have lost my brother thirteen years ago"

* * *

Jout straightaway walked to the barracks door to leave the main room. He was in a blind rage, ignoring everything around him, and so he didn't noticed that someone was just about to enter the barracks when he walked out of the door. He ended up crashing into the other person and they landed on the ground.

"Ouch!" Newkirk exclaimed, rubbing his head. "Blimey, Jout! 'aven't ya any eyes in yer 'ead?" he joked.

"I'm sorry," mumbled Jout.

He quickly stood up again and avoided eye contact. Without helping Newkirk up, Jout practically ran away in the direction of the buildings behind the barracks.

Newkirk scratched his head when he entered the main room. He was greeted with strained looks on the other men's faces, and Carter even looked intimidated.

"What the 'ell is goin' on 'ere?"

" _Le Colonel_ and Jout just had an _énorme_ fight," LeBeau answered while making the morning coffee.

"And Jout was screaming about –"

Before Carter was able to finish the sentence, Newkirk swirled around and hurried out the door.

* * *

 **[1] garrison cap – also known as side cap, is a foldable military cap; Newkirk wears it**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey guys,**

 **before you read any further, I would like to clarify that I know it was common to sometimes hit your child in that time. I also know that it was widely accepted. I just want you to know, that I write about heavily child abuse that goes way beyond corporal punishment.**

 **I hope you didn't mind to wait the last two weeks for this chapter!**

 **Enjoy**

* * *

Newkirk rushed into the same direction he saw Jout took off after they ran into each other. He didn't need Carter telling him what Jout screamed about to know why they were fighting. The discovery he had made yesterday morning was explanation enough.

He searched the whole compound, trying to find Jout. He knew all too well that people tend to make stupid decisions when they were mad, and a stupid decision in a POW camp could cost you your life. He experienced those situations before, for example, when Klink rambled about the _Luftwaffe_ bombing London, again. He instantly felt anger and fear rising in him. He was angry at the Germans for starting a senseless war he wasn't able to fight anymore, and he feared for his mother and sister's life. His friends had to use all their strength to hold him back; otherwise he would have killed Klink with his bare hands.

Newkirk almost gave up finding Jout anytime soon; he was probably hiding in one of the other barracks like he did before he was part of the group, when Newkirk looked behind the storage barracks. He saw Jout huddled against the wall with his knees at his chest and staring at one of the tower guards, who held his machine gun firm. It was one of the new guards that had arrived two days ago, and he didn't know yet how to handle prisoners near the barbed wire. Newkirk glanced back at Jout. His ruffled dark brown hair was shining under the morning sun. The whole time, Newkirk had not really paid much attention to Jout; only when he was tailoring his uniforms. But right now, Jout looked almost exactly like Hogan, just a few years younger and less wrinkles around his eyes. He had a smaller forehead, but the same fierce, chocolate brown eyes.

He jogged to Jout and signaled to the guard that he should remain calm. The other man nodded in relief and turned around to continue watching the surroundings.

" 'ey, Jout, good to see ya! Man, ya can't just sit around watch the wire. The guards are jumpy and then ya will get shot"

Jout didn't bother to avert his gaze from the tower. "Who cares if I die? Certainly not my brother"

"What is 'at supposed to mean?" Newkirk sat down with him. "Of course 'e cares. And we others care too"

Jout didn't answer. The two men sat in silence for a few minutes. Both were rapt in thoughts and neither wanted to disturb the other.

Finally, Newkirk decided to speak up. "I know 'ow ya feel. 'ow it is to 'ave an abusive father"

Jout turned his head to the left. "How do you know?" he whispered.

"Don't worry, the others didn't tell me." He lowered his glance. "I saw the scars on yer back"

Jout rested his head against the barrack's wall. "When did you see them?"

"Yesterday mornin'; I came down to check on ya when I saw yer bare back" He turned to face the American. "It probably seems like I'm yer stalker, but I just didn't know 'ow to ask ya about it then. But now seems like a bleedin' good time"

"If Rob ordered you to talk to me, you can tell him I said everything that's needed to be said"

Newkirk noticed how Jout was fighting back his tears. The younger man obviously had as much as an ego as himself. He realized he had to gain Jout's thorough trust in order to help him.

So he decided to open up about his own dark past. "I was eight years ol' when it started"

Newkirk looked down at his bony hands that played with the buttons of his greatcoat. "In 1925, 'e 'ad lost 'is job at the dockyard and was unable to find somethin' new, which caused 'im to drink excessively. I could already smell the alcohol when I woke up in the morning to go to school…I vividly remember the first time it 'appened" He sighed at the painful thought. "I 'ad broken one of Mom's good china and 'e became so mad 'at 'e beat the daylights out of me. Me mom and sis were gettin' groceries at the time and so they didn't find me until about two 'ours later. She screamed at 'im, but 'e was unimpressed and just threatened 'e would beat the two of them too, if she wouldn't stop it…And so it went on for six years. 'e battered me every day and I could really call meself lucky when 'e was sometimes too drunk to move and slept the whole day"

He looked up from his hands and into Jout's eyes. He was greeted with a mixture of compassion and understanding. "Even though I was not able to prevent 'at 'e would whoop me mom…I was able to protect me little sis. I really tried to shelter the 'appiness and levity in Mavis. Of course she noticed me bruises and 'is tantrums, but I tried me best"

Jout nodded and gazed back at the tower. "The first time my father ever bashed me was when I was five years old"

Newkirk gave him a puzzled look. He was surprised that Jout felt ready to open up to him that quickly. At the same time, he was glad that Jout apparently trusted him enough to speak about his experiences.

"The ordeal had started after my mother died when I was only three years old. Until then, our mother made sure that she was the only one he laid his hands on. But then she passed away and he lived out his aggression at Rob. He whacked him for every mundane reason he could think of. Sometimes Rob didn't take out the trash fast enough; at other times he supposedly forgot to buy beer. Rob was fourteen at that time, and our father forced him to do the housework all by himself, and work at the same time as the only one in our household. He considered himself too good to work and take care of anything"

Jout paused for a short moment. It was the first time that he ever spoke about the abuse he had to endure, without being ashamed of himself. Every time he brought the topic up to someone he knew, the only response he got was that he had to man up, and that a few stingers from time to time never harmed anybody. But talking to Newkirk showed him that he was not the only one who had gone through this hell.

It showed him that he was not alone. A feeling he had since he was seven.

"Before she died, our mother did everything in her power to make sure we had a beautiful life. I don't know if Rob ever noticed how our mother got hit, but I was only three and so I thought we would live an ordinary life"

" 'ow did she die, if ya don't mind me askin'," Newkirk said.

"I don't know" Jout clung further onto his knees for some sort of support. It was still hard to talk about his mother, even seventeen years after her death. "One day, my mom and I were in the kitchen and she prepared our dinner, and the next moment she just dropped dead…I…was never told…how she died"

Jout tried to shove the thoughts about his mother away from him. He knew if he would not tell Newkirk his story right now, he would never again find the courage to talk about it with anyone.

"Like I said, our dad forced Rob to undertake our mom's duties. He spared me because I was too young to be useful for him. But when I turned five, he changed his opinion and I had to start working like my brother. I worked as a paper boy until the age of seven. Since I brought money home, he considered me old enough to be treated like Rob and Mom…From this day one, he beat me black and blue; every day"

Newkirk looked to the ground. He tried to think of a way to phrase his next question, without pushing Jout into something he doesn't want to talk about. "We don't 'ave to talk about it…if ya don't want to…but…'ow did ya get yer scars?"

"It was his way of killing time. When he got bored, he took a belt and hit me. He called it 'recreational pursuit'"

Jout wiped away the moisture on his cheeks and took a deep breath. This talk stirred up a lot of banished thoughts. It took a few minutes until he was able to calm down. The whole time, Newkirk just sat there and gave him as much time as he needed. Jout was grateful for the Brits' patience and that he didn't rush him. His mere presence was a tremendous help for Jout.

"You said it stopped when you were fourteen. What happened?" Jout wondered.

" 'e died," Newkirk said free of emotion. " 'e 'ad a 'eart attack while Mavis and I were at school. We came 'ome 'at day and Mom told us 'at 'e 'ad died at 'is favorite pub. Ya can trust me, it was the 'appiest day of me entire life"

Jout simply nodded. "I prayed every day for his death" He reached into his neck line and revealed a silver necklace with a cross as a pendant. He brought it closer to his mouth and kissed the cross. "And with every day that went by without him dying, I got madder at Him for not rescuing me out of this hell"

Jout ran his fingers through his umber brown hair and added, "But now I understand that He only made me stronger through the pain I had to endure; He showed me that I can survive on my own and that I don't need anyone else to help me"

Newkirk flinched at the bitterness of Jout's voice. He knew that if you go through something as terrible as an abuse, you are angry at the world. You can't understand what you did to deserve being treated as a worthless object, and not as a human being. He once thought exactly like Jout.

He was Jout.

But he came to terms with his childhood. After all, he couldn't change it. And being angry and embittered the rest of your life only destroys you. This feeling eats you from within and ruins everything great that comes when you reach adulthood.

Like using a second chance to start bonding with your brother.

So Newkirk decided to help Jout to forgive Hogan. "And why are ya so angry at the gov'nor? 'e obviously 'ad to endure the same as ya"

"I'll tell you what he did," snorted Jout. "Say, did you ever thought about leaving your sister alone with your father?"

"Are ya kiddin' me?" asked Newkirk in disbelief. "Of course not! I am 'er older brother; I 'ad to protect 'er"

"Well, my brother thought differently. In the beginning, he did try to shelter me from our dad's outbursts, but when he was 18, he ran away from home and left me behind. I later found out that he had joined the Air Core"

" 'e did what?" exclaimed Newkirk.

"You heard right. One day, Rob came into my room and told me he decided to leave this place. He said, he couldn't stand the abuse anymore and now that he was 18, he could finally live a free and non-violent life. And with that, he left me and our father decided to punish me for Rob's leaving. So he beat me even worse than before; which resulted in me almost dying four times"

Newkirk looked at Jout in utter shock. He couldn't believe his ears. The gov'nor left his own brother behind? That didn't sound like the Colonel Hogan he knew; the Colonel Hogan he knew would never leave someone behind, no matter how tricky and dangerous the situation was. His men always came first. But now Newkirk realized that maybe Hogan acted like this reliable leader out of sheer guilt; to silence his guilty conscience.

"What the bloody 'ell did yer father to ya?" Newkirk asked raving.

"The first time was right after Rob left. He battered me for about three hours and broke most of my bones. Since it was the first time, he had the courtesy to bring me to the hospital. He told the doctors some bullies in our neighborhood were the abusers. I remember the doctor telling me that I was incredibly lucky for surviving my injuries. If he had known what it meant for me to go back to my dad …" Jout started explaining.

He stopped when he felt a hand on his knee. Apparently, Newkirk had detected the starting tremble in his voice. It calmed him down and he was all the more thankful for such an understanding friend.

"The second time was two years later. I was playing soccer in the garden and accidentally broke the kitchen window. He became the angriest I had ever seen him up until then. He dragged me into the kitchen and beat me in the shards. One broken piece of glass stabbed my neck and ripped a small part of my skin open; near the aorta"

Jout removed his shirt collar and revealed a light mark on the left side of his neck. "He stopped hitting me and I ran to our neighbor, Mrs Vaughn, because the wound did not stop bleeding. She immediately drove me to the hospital. Ironically, the same doctor was on duty like the first time I was hospitalized. When asked about my injury, I said that I broke the kitchen window and fell into the shards while I tried to clean up. I think he didn't quite believe me, but he never asked any further"

He fixed his collar and tucked his hands into his pockets. "I was ten by the time it happened again. I started a fight at school with the town's bully because he didn't stop mocking my friend who had lost his right arm when he was five. My teacher asked to talk to my dad, and when he came back, I hid in a pile of clothes. He found me and kicked me in the guts till I passed out. The next thing I remember is that I am yet again in the hospital. But this time it was another doctor who told me that I had suffered a ruptured spleen. I had to stay in the hospital for one week. And, man, it was a divine week. It was the first time in years that I was not afraid the whole time"

A slight smile appeared on Jout's face, but it vanished seconds later. "And the fourth time was when I was 14. I came home late because I had strolled through the city with a friend of mine and my dad was mad because he had to cook. That evening, I decided to finally defend myself. I answered back and he got so furious that he beat the living shit out of me, with the full purpose of killing me. Thank God Mrs Vaughn came over because she heard loud noises from our house and saved me from being six feet under. After spending three months at the hospital, I returned home for one last time while my father was at a nearby pub. I packed a few clothes and pictures and left my living hell for good"

"Is 'at the reason why ya joined the military?" asked Newkirk, still having one hand placed on Jout's knee.

"You could say so. I was wandering through the city and stopped in front of a recruiting office. For hours I stood there and just stared at the "Uncle Sam" poster. One of the officers came out and invited me into the office to talk…I will never forget him. His name was Captain Lester Stimac. I told him that I was an orphan and had nowhere else to go; I thought he would refuse me if he knew that I had a father. And I mean, I was only 14 years old at that time! But I think I triggered a soft spot in his heart and he said that they urgently needed new recruits and I could join the Air Core if I would pass all the required tests. I did and well, now I sit here in a German POW camp"

Both men fell into silence again, because neither knew what to say. But Jout's story made Newkirk only more determined to help Hogan and Jout come to terms. He knew it was a risky undertaking, but he wanted the two men to be one family again.

"I know yer angry at the gov'nor, but don't ya think it's time to forgive 'im? It's been thirteen years –"

"Are you kidding me?" Jout interjected. "Didn't you listen? He left me with our abusive father and he made no move to save me from this hell I was living in. Why should I forgive him?"

"It was an extreme situation ya two were in, and 'e made the wrong decision. 'at 'appens. Plus, ya should not forget 'e also 'ad to endure the abuse" Newkirk tried to calm the American down. "Besides, I'm sure 'e feels terribly sorry for what 'e did. And ya 'ave to know 'at 'e 'as changed. 'e is the most trustworthy officer, I 'ave ever met; 'e would give 'is life for every single one of us. I'm sure this is 'is way of redemption. And ya shouldn't forget 'at 'e is yer brother. Ya are a family. Ya only 'ave each other"

He noticed how Jout started to think about his words. The younger man stared at the guard tower again, biting his lip.

"More importantly, don't ya think everyone deserves a second chance?"

Newkirk stood up and patted Jout's shoulder. Then he left him alone, to give him some time to think about everything.

* * *

 _The next day…_

Jout lay in his bunk, staring at the ceiling. The book he had read the last hour lay on his chest, and he was wrapped up in his thoughts. The rest of the men who occupy the barrack with him were on work detail; they had to repair a nearby road. Since Jout was an officer, he would not have to do work details; and from the reaction of the others when he proposed he would go with them, it is not welcomed to see officers working with enlisted men. So he decided to just enjoy having some time alone. It was one month since he arrived at the Stalag and he did not had one single moment just to himself. There was always someone around him; only sometimes he was able to be alone for some time when he was behind the storage barracks or in one of the tunnel system's rooms. He learned to value being alone more.

He turned his head and looked at Hogan's door. Right after the workgroup had left, Hogan excused himself and retreated to his room. He said he had to work on some papers for Klink. Since their fight yesterday morning, Hogan had avoided any contact with his younger brother, and only said the bare necessities.

Jout sighed and closed his eyes. The talk with Newkirk had caused a feeling of guilt to rise in him. Maybe the Brit was right, and Rob indeed deserved a second chance. He had watched his brother over the course of the last month, and he had to admit that Hogan really seemed to be a caring leader. He still was angry and hurt that Rob had left him with their father, but maybe Jout did him wrong for still bearing such a severe grudge against Hogan.

Newkirk was right. Rob had suffered from their father as much as Jout did. He couldn't blame him to this day for having the urge to flee from their home.

He jumped down from his bunk and walked over to the door. Jout missed his brother and even though he said to Newkirk he needed no one to help him, he was tired of acting like the lone wolf. So he decided it was time to start reconciling; and _HE_ was the one who had to make the first step.

He knocked on the door and entered the room without waiting for Hogan's answer. "Are you busy right now, or can we talk?"

A puzzled Hogan looked up from his desk. He did not expect to talk with Jout anytime soon. "Klink's papers can wait," he said. "Come in"

Jout entered and stopped in front of Hogan. He nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other and gazed down to the ground. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior. I acted like a stubborn toddler yesterday"

Hogan was again surprised. He couldn't believe what he just heard. Jout wanted to apologize. To him!

"You have nothing to apologize for" Hogan rose from his seat. "I'm the one who has to apologize. I was the one who didn't act like a brother – "

"You were only 18," Jout interrupted. "No one could demand of you to act like a parent to a seven year old...I mean…I am still hurt that you left me with our father…but you don't deserve that I will always hold the past against you"

He moved closer and laid a hand on his brother's shoulder. "I miss you. I miss having a brother I can rely on" Jout smiled. "I want you back"

He opened his arms and hugged his older brother. Hogan gave him a bear hug; something he longed for the last thirteen years.

* * *

The two brothers sat at the table in the main room. They were playing cards for the last couple of hours, talking about their past and about what them led to pursue a career in the military. But above all, they simply enjoyed starting to feel like a family again.

The door opened and the rest of the occupants returned from their work detail. They were groaning and immediately fell into their beds. Newkirk saw a happy Jout talking to Hogan and started to smile. He had managed to bring them back together and he was glad to see Jout laughing. The young American looked up from his cards and smiled back at the Brit.

"Blimey, am I exhausted," exclaimed Newkirk. He walked over to the stove and poured himself a cup of tea.

"Me too! I could sleep until the war is over" Carter went to his bunk to lie down.

A wave of complaints started and Jout said, "Look on the bright side; you all earn some money for after the war"

Newkirk nodded in agreement and sat down beside Jout.

"Do you want to join?" he asked.

"To part ya from yer cash? Anytime!"


	10. Chapter 10

"…well, and apparently I had used not enough magnesium, because only the chemistry lab, the cafeteria and the balcony level of the auditorium blew up," Carter explained.

Jout and Carter were walking around the compound. Carter was just lecturing about his plan to blow up his whole High School when he was sixteen, and Jout was listening patiently. The others had warned him about Carter's babbling nature, and it was true, Carter could talk for hours without interruption. But Jout liked exactly this characteristic, and he loved to hear about the other man's exciting childhood, since his own was rather dark.

This train of thought made Jout thinking about the talk he had with Newkirk about three months ago. In hindsight, he was glad he had decided to open up to the Cockney, because his life had definitely changed for the better. Over the course of the last months, he grew much closer to his brother and they started to act like two brothers again, without yelling at each other the whole time. Jout and Hogan had also talked with the others about their abusive father, and explained to them that this was the reason for the hostile situation between each other. The others were extremely sympathetic about it and respected the wish of the two brothers to not talk about it any further.

But this day had not only brought him closer together with his brother, it had also strengthened his friendship with Newkirk. The two often sat behind the storage barrack and talked about their lives before the war, Jout telling Newkirk about the life as a career soldier stationed in Hampton, Virginia, and Newkirk gave him an insight into London's show business. Jout enjoyed their talks, and the place behind the storage barrack became their own private spot in the camp, away from the loud reality of being stuck in a POW camp.

"Only?" he laughed. "For me it seems like you were able to blow up a lot"

Carter smiled. "Of course I accomplished to do much destruction, but if I had been able to blow up the entire school, school would have been cancelled for a long time. I would have been a hero with my school mates!"

He went on to talk about the consequences of his unsuccessful plan, but suddenly, Jout heard someone yelling.

"Hogan?" yelled the voice. "Is that really you?"

Jout and Carter turned around, and Jout felt his heart sinking to his boots.

 _Oh, no! This can't be true!_

Jout's body started trembling and he wished he had a hole to crawl in. But Carter didn't notice Jout shaking.

"Hey, Brawley," greeted Carter happily. "You know Jout?"

"Know him? We served together with the No. 121 Eagle Squadron, back in 1941"

Brawley pointed at the men behind him. Then he looked at Jout with a dirty grin on his face. "We thought we would never see you again, Hogan; after you left the Squadron"

Jout gulped, but tried to hide his fear. He would not give them this kind of satisfaction.

"Well, here I am," he said in a serious tone.

 _Why do I have to be in the same POW camp as they are?_

Jout looked directly into Brawley's eyes. He tried to show him that he wasn't intimidated by his former comrades, but he knew that Brawley was able to see behind his mask and that he knew exactly how Jout felt.

"Well, we have to go," announced Brawley. "But hopefully we ran into each other again"

The men walked past Jout and Brawley whispered to him, "We have a lot of unfinished business to discuss, don't ya think?"

Jout stood there and couldn't move. He heard the men laughing, but that was the only thing he registered in his environment. His head was spinning. So many awful happenings and fears that he had buried for so long came to the surface again, and he wished he could just escape from this situation.

"Hey, Jout? Everything's alright?" he heard Carter asking in the back of his mind. "Jout?...Buddy, are you alright?"

Jout snapped back to reality and rushed past Carter, without answering his questions.

 _What have I done to deserve this kind of punishment? I can't go through that again…I won't survive that!_

Jout ran to barrack 2 and saw his friends standing next to the door. They were apparently watching the rather poor attempt of the other prisoners to play cricket, and especially Newkirk laughed at it.

Newkirk spotted Jout and laughed, " 'ey, Jout, where did ya leave Carter? Do ya already 'ave enough of 'is stories?"

But Jout didn't react to his remarks and simply ignored the group. He went straight into the barrack, without saying one word.

The group looked at each other, puzzled by Jout's strange behavior. Before anyone could say anything, they saw how Carter came running towards them.

"Have you guys seen Jout?"

"He just stormed past us into the barrack," LeBeau answered. "What happened, André?"

"It was really strange," Carter started. "We were strolling through the compound and ran into Brawley and his friends. Apparently they served in the same unit as Jout. But Jout did not seem to enjoy seeing them again, because he froze and didn't even notice how they walked away. I asked if he was alright, but he just stormed off"

"Do you now this Brawley guy and his friends?" asked Hogan worried.

Hogan really worried about his brother. In the last few months, he saw how Jout had changed to the better. He laughed more and integrated himself more into the camp life. It had seemed like the dark first month of Jout's arrival was over, but now it looked like everything was starting all over again.

But he would not leave Jout alone again.

"Not really. I only see them in the Rec Hall sometimes. It seems like they don't have any other friends beside themselves"

Hogan didn't answer. He stared off into the distance and tried to think of what he should do right now. The others looked at him and waited for a reaction.

After a few moments, Hogan bobbed up and opened the door to the barrack he stood next to. He and his men went into the main room and scanned it for Jout. They found him kneeling in front of his footlocker, frantically searching for something.

"Josh, are you alright?" Hogan asked. "What happened?"

Jout did not react. He sought through his footlocker undeterred.

Hogan glanced at the others who all looked very concerned.

"Josh, you are acting quite strange," he said while slowly walking towards his kneeling brother. "Has your behavior anything to do with Brawley?"

Jout shot up at the mention of Brawley's name. He slammed his footlocker shut and put something in his pockets, but Hogan could not see what it was.

"Everything is fine!" Jout yelled. "Why is everyone asking me this stupid question?"

He hurried to the door and shoved himself through the group of men blocking the door.

"What did just happen?" asked Kinch after Jout had left the room.

A perplexed Hogan shook his head and said, "I have absolutely no idea"

Newkirk leaned against his bunk and lit up a cigarette. "Well, it must 'ave somethin' to do with the blokes 'e and Carter ran into"

Hogan set his right foot onto the stool near the stove and placed his arms on his knee. "Do you know the names and ranks of these guys, Carter?"

"Sure," Carter said and sat down on his bunk. "Sergeants Paul Brawley, Earl Fanbrick and Joe Leach"

"Kinch, radio London and find out more about these guys," ordered Hogan.

"Yes, Colonel" Kinch went to his bunk bed and pushed the hidden button.

"Oh, and Kinch. Ask London if anything happened before Josh left the squadron"

Kinch nodded and climbed down the ladder.

* * *

Jout reached barrack 12 and fell down at his typical spot. He tried to control his breathing, but he didn't succeed and started to hyperventilate. A million thoughts were racing through his mind.

 _Why has this nightmare to start all over again? Why now, after more than one year? Now, that I had somehow learned to cope with what happened? Why reopen old sores?_

He breathed in his hands as if he was cold. It helped to calm him down and he leaned his head against the wall. Jout closed his eyes and reached into his inside pocket for the object he had searched for in his footlocker. It was a picture, taken about two years ago, shortly after he had joined the Eagle Squadron. It was crinkled, the top corner was ripped, and it started to bleach out. There were also dried up tear stains on it, from the long nights Jout had cried himself to sleep. It showed two men, having an arm thrown around the others shoulder. They were smiling at the camera, enjoying the moment, and not knowing what tragic incident would tear them apart. Both men were proudly wearing their flight uniforms; proud to serve a good cause.

Jout started to cry again, adding another tear stain on the picture.

"Henri…" he whispered.

* * *

 _One hour later…._

Hogan sat at the table in the main room, sipping at his cup of coffee. LeBeau stood at the stove and cooked, and Newkirk and Carter played cards. The whole barrack was quiet, including the other occupants. They were all waiting on news from Kinch.

Suddenly, the bunk bed rose and Kinch climbed up. He stepped into the main room and sat down at the end of the table. Newkirk and Carter laid down their cards and LeBeau placed the pot on the stove.

"Did you find out anything interesting?" asked Hogan.

"You could say so," said Kinch while he spread six blue papers on the desk. "Technical Sergeant Paul Brawley, born on August 23rd, 1920 in Olathe, Kansas. Joined the Air Core in March 1941 and immediately volunteered for one of the three Eagle Squadrons attached to the RAF. Impeccable record except for a brawl with another fighter pilot because of a disagreement about their downing numbers. Both got two weeks of KP duty. Shot down over Bad Kissingen while escorting bombers in September 1942. After being in the Dulag for one week, he and the other downed pilots were sent to Stalag 13"

Kinch took another note. "Staff Sergeant Earl Thomas Fanbrick, born on April 16th, 1921, in Elmhurst, Illinois. Joined the Air Core at the age of 18, in 1939. His father is Lieutenant General Martin Fanbrick – "

"Uh, 'igh brass," said Newkirk.

"Fanbrick joined the Eagle Squadrons in September 1940. Also an impeccable record. Got shot down during the same raid as Brawley, and they were brought together to Stalag 13"

Kinch continued. "Staff Sergeant Joe Christopher Leach, born on November 4th, 1920, in Hulett, Wyoming. Joined the Air Core in June 1940 as a compulsory measure. He was a petty criminal in his youth, and when he was caught yet again the judge, as a favor to Leach's father who was his childhood friend, gave him the choice whether he would join the Air Core or go to jail for two years. Leach enlisted and signed up for the Eagle Squadron. There he met Brawley and Fanbrick, and together they were shot down and taken prisoners"

"Do we know if there were any problems with them?" asked Hogan.

"Their former CO, Group Captain Preston, said he received complaints on a regular basis from the men in the lower ranks. Apparently the three acted like bagmen, with Sergeant Brawley as their leader. They threatened to tell Fanbrick's father about some made-up delinquency if they wouldn't get half of their victim's payment each month. If one refused to pay, Brawley would use his fists to change their mind. According to Group Captain Preston, there was at least one man with a black eye and burst lip per week"

" _Incroyable!"_ hissed LeBeau.

Newkirk shook his head while he smoked his cigarette. "Sounds like some lovely company, those tossers!"

"Why didn't their CO do anything if he knew about their scheming?" Carter asked.

"His hands were tied," Kinch started. "The complaints were always withdrawn. Except for one. But this was not investigated any further because of Fanbrick's father. The Lieutenant General was very clear to Preston that there would be no investigation against his son"

"Who made the complaint that was not withdrawn?" Hogan questioned.

"Jout"

Hogan slowly placed down his cup of coffee. "When was that?"

Kinch took another one of his notes. "Shortly after he had joined the Squadron in April 1941. They tried the same with him, but Jout was not intimidated. He filed charges against them, and when they tried to change his mind with a beating, he fought back and gave them a hell of a trashing"

" 'at is probably the reason why 'e acted so strange earlier. I wouldn't be 'appy to see those blokes again too!"

Hogan rose from his seat and made his way over to his office. "I'm going to think of a way to talk to Josh about this. Kinch, get General Gallagher on the radio. I'm sure he knows more about everything"

Before he could close the door, he heard Kinch say, "Colonel Hogan, there is another thing I need to tell you"

Hogan turned around to face Kinch.

"Something about Jout's time there"


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's note: I had to change some dates about when Brawley, Fanbrick and Leach joined the Eagle Squadrons. Nothing big that would change anything important to the story, I just wanted to make it authentic and therefore I changed it. Just check it out if you're curious.**

 **Update November 3, 2018: I also changed Henri's rank. Makes simply more sense with my other story, "Hope Dies Last".**

* * *

Jout gently touched the other man's face on the picture.

"I wish you were here, fighting the Germans with me. We would be helping to free France like you said we would. And after the war you would show me around Paris; do you remember how nervous I was at the thought of meeting your grandparents?"

Jout smiled sadly. "I will visit Paris one day, I promise. And your grandparents. France will be liberated; you can count on me!"

Jout put the picture back into his pocket and stood up. He left his hiding place to stroll around the compound in hopes this would take his mind off the painful thoughts welling up inside him. Maybe he would find Ashton and Embrey from barracks 5, and together they could play cards or play ping-pong. Everything would be better than debauch in old memories.

He walked past barracks 8 when he saw out of the corner of his eye how Brawley, Leach and Fanbrick were making their way towards him. He tucked his hands in his pockets and marched off in the direction of barracks 5.

"Hogan!" yelled Brawley.

Jout ignored the other man and kept walking towards barracks 5.

Brawley jogged towards Jout, with his friends close behind him.

He reached Jout and grabbed him by the shoulder. "Why are you running away from us?"

"I don't know what you are talking about," said Jout and he started to walk away.

Brawley pushed him hard against the barracks wall and laughed "Did you hear that guys? He doesn't know what I'm talking about"

Brawley moved closer to Jout. "Are you fucking with me?"

"What do you want from me, Brawley?" asked Jout calmly.

"You know exactly what I want from you" He turned around to Fanbrick and Leach. "But don't you all agree that with your connections to the inner core of this camp, you owe us something else?"

"I owe you nothing," said Jout.

He stared Brawley directly in the eyes. "We are not in England anymore, Brawley. Fanbrick's father can't help you here. What do you want to do? Beating me up again? You know how that ended the last time"

Brawley turned his head and snorted. Then he grabbed Jout's collar and banged his head against the wall. "Listen to me, Hogan. Listen carefully. If you don't do what we want, we will tell the Krauts your little secret"

Jout shoved Brawley away from him. "You wouldn't dare"

"You know what they do with perverts like you, don't you?" He moved a few steps back and rolled up his sleeves. "We are not inhuman monsters, though, so you don't have to decide now. We will give you some time"

Brawley motioned for Fanbrick and Leach to hold Jout's arms. "But I think this will help your decision"

He hauled off and gave Jout a hard blow into his guts.

* * *

Hogan walked back to the table. "What is it, Kinch?"

"Something happened before Jout left the squadron. A fighter pilot from his unit was shot down and killed over Kassel on February 18th, 1942"

"Well, as sadly as it is, but from time to time, pilots get killed," said Hogan.

Everyone in the barracks was listening carefully. They all wanted to know what was so special about the killed pilot.

"I know that, Colonel, but it was not just anyone. It was Jout's closest friend in the squadron"

Hogan sighed and crossed his arms. "Who was it?"

"Pilot Officer Henri Dupont. He was born on December 5th, 1919 in Van Buren, Maine to French immigrants. His parents had left France about one year earlier in November 1918, shortly after the end of World War 1. He crossed the border and joined the Royal Canadian Air Force in May 1940 after Germany attacked France to help defending France. He joined the No. 71 Squadron after its formation in September 1940, and later was transferred to the No. 121 Squadron in May 1941. According to Group Captain Preston, Dupont and Jout became friends immediately after Jout had joined the squadron"

"Do we know how Josh coped with Dupont's death?" Hogan asked.

"Well, apparently not very well. Group Captain Preston said he backed away from any other squadron member. He was always in his room, and only left it at mealtime and for duty. He requested his transfer to an American unit in August 1941, without any explanation. Jout was assigned to the 324th Bomb Squadron and that was the last time Preston had heard from him"

"Colonel, do you think Dupont's death has anything to do with Jout's behavior?" asked Carter who was still sitting at the desk.

"I don't think so. I mean it's tragic, but Dupont has no relation to Brawley, Fanbrick and Leach. I think Josh acts this strange because of the unfair practices they used to earn money"

"And what do you want to do about that?" questioned LeBeau. "Those _malfaiteurs_ [criminals]have to be punished"

"I agree with you, but we are in a German POW camp. How should we punish them for something they did the last two years in England?" Hogan pinched the back of his nose. "Moreover, we don't have any evidence. There would never be a court-martial, not with Lieutenant General Fanbrick protecting his son"

Suddenly the door was pushed open and someone stormed into the barracks.

"Colonel, you have to come. There is a fight going on, and we can't settle it" The man looked awfully fearful.

Hogan looked to his men, and they followed the man to barracks 5. There was a huge crowd of prisoners, yelling and jostling each other, and Hogan could see how the guards were starting to notice the happening. He ran to the crowd and saw how Jout was lying on the ground with Brawley on top of him, beating Jout up. Some prisoners tried to help him, but Leach and Fanbrick kept them away. Other prisoners just stood around and cheered for Brawley to continue. Newkirk and Kinch were shoving themselves through the crowd and pulled Brawley off from Jout.

"What is going on here?" asked Hogan.

The crowd fell silent. Fanbrick and Leach tried to leave the scene, but were stopped by some other prisoners.

Brawley, who was still held by Newkirk and Kinch, said, "Just a small dispute, Colonel. Nothing serious"

Hogan knelt beside Jout. His right eye was swollen and his left cheek was cut. His lip was burst and blood came out of his nose. His whole face was bloody. "Josh, can you hear me?"

The younger man did not react. But Hogan saw how his brother fought to open his eyes, or more precisely, his left eye.

"LeBeau, go get Wilson. Tell him to come to the barracks"

"Will do, _Mon Colonel_ "

Hogan averted his gaze from his brother and looked to Brawley. "You call this nothing serious? What was the fight about?"

Brawley didn't answer.

"I'm waiting, Sergeant" Hogan was getting impatient.

"It was about…money…I owe to him," said a hoarse voice.

It was Jout, who had managed to open his left eye.

Hogan shot a worried glance at his brother and touched his shoulder. "Josh, how are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit by a train" He gulped. "But nothing to worry about – I was worse off in the past"

Out of nowhere Hogan heard a voice yelling, "What is happening here?"

Hogan looked up and saw Klink approaching, with Schultz and Langenscheidt in tow. They stopped right in front of Jout, who had closed his eye again.

"Colonel Hogan, I demand to know why this prisoner is wounded!"

Hogan stood up and pointed at Brawley. "Sergeant Brawley beat up Lieutenant Hogan because of an old dispute. Sergeants Fanbrick and Leach helped him"

Normally, Hogan always tried to confuse Klink with some made-up stories to help the prisoners avoid staying in the cooler. But not now. Not if his brother got hurt.

"I understand" Klink looked to Schultz. " _Feldwebel_ Schultz, take the three men into the cooler. Thirty days of solitary confinement should help them settle their next dispute in a civilized manner"

" _Verstanden, Oberst_ " ["Alright, Colonel"]

Schultz and Langenscheidt brought the three men away.

When they went past Jout, Brawley said, "This is not over, Hogan"

"It's _Lieutenant_ Hogan for you, Sergeant," retorted Hogan.

"Colonel Hogan, ensure that the prisoner gets proper treatment. If your medic needs any supplies, let me know" Klink turned around to face the crowd. "There is nothing to see here. Leave this place or you will all end up in the cooler"

The Germans hated it if too many prisoners were gathered in one place. It made them feel uneasy, and they always thought the prisoners would attempt a mass escape. The prisoners groaned, but eventually left the scene due to their aversion for solitary confinement.

Hogan turned his attention back to his brother after the crowd had dissolved. "Carter, run back to the barracks and tell Wilson we're on our way. Newkirk, help me lift up Josh"

Newkirk rashly knelt down across from Hogan and slid his left arm under Jout's body, right under the shoulder blade, and with his right hand he took a hold of Jout's arm. Hogan did the same on the other side.

"Josh, we are going to lift you up now, alright? This might hurt, but trust me; we will get you to a medic soon. Do you understand me?"

Jout nodded slightly and clenched his teeth. His whole body hurt, even without being dragged around the entire camp.

Hogan looked at Newkirk. "On the count of three. One, two…three"

Jout let out a cry of pain when the two men pulled him up. Kinch hurried forward to support his back, while Hogan and Newkirk each slung one of Jout's arms around their shoulder and put their other arm on his back to prop him up.

"I'm sorry, Josh. It's almost over; just hang on a little longer," pleaded Hogan.

It broke his heart to see his little brother in so much pain. He knew he had to do something about Brawley and the other men. He could not allow them to hurt Jout, or any other soldier, without punishment, just because of a General who protected his son from prosecution. And Hogan knew he would find a way to deal with them. But now his top priority was to get Jout to their barracks.

Jout squinted his eyes shut. "I'm…fine"

Hogan tilted his head at Newkirk. "Let's go"

The group slowly made its way across the compound, always trying to drag Jout as gingerly as possible. They didn't want to add any more injuries to his maltreated body. They moved past the commandant's office and Hogan was able to catch a glimpse at Klink, who stood in front of it, eyeing the group carefully. Kinch pushed the door open and Newkirk and Hogan shuffled Jout inside. Sergeant Wilson stood right in front of them.

"Bring him into the office for more privacy. LeBeau and I already prepared it"

They walked into the small room and sat Jout down onto the lower bunk. LeBeau had gotten previous instructions to keep him up, so he placed himself next to him on the bunk.

" _Mon ami_ , it's important that you remain seated. Lean against me," he whispered to him when Jout tried to lie down.

Wilson motioned for the other men to leave the room.

"I'm not leaving his side!" demanded Hogan. "I'm his brother"

"And that's why you can't be in here. You're too emotional"

Wilson went closer to Hogan, since he moved not one inch. "With all due respect, Colonel, I'm the medic, and in this case, I'm the one who gives orders. I have to examine your brother, and this will hurt. It's best if you wait outside"

Hogan looked at Jout the whole time. Eventually, he sighed. "You're probably right"

He left the room with the rest of the men, except for LeBeau, who was ordered to assist Wilson.

The door was closed and Wilson said, "Well, Lieutenant, I think we haven't had the pleasure yet. Although I could think of a more pleasant situation than this. I'm Sergeant Wilson, the camp medic"

"It's not really thrilling for me either" Jout took a painful breath. "I'm Jout"

"We have to get rid of his jacket and shirt," Wilson ordered. "He might have some broken ribs"

LeBeau helped Jout out of his jacket while Wilson unbuttoned his shirt. LeBeau slipped it off too, and at last they removed Jout's undershirt. There were already blue marks appearing on his chest.

"Hm, just like I thought" Wilson applied some pressure on Jout's chest, which resulted in the other man inhaling sharply. "Some of his ribs are broken. LeBeau, get the bandage from my bag"

LeBeau left Jout's side to retrieve the bandage from Wilson's medical case. Even though they were in a POW camp and had no real infirmary, they were fortunate to have a fair amount of medical supplies and a rather decent medical care, as the case may be under the given circumstances.

"Jout, I have to apply the bandage, and you have to help me. Can you raise your arms up?"

"I think…I can" Jout raised his arms slightly over his head, but the pain that washed through his body was incredibly intense and he started to breathe shallow.

Wilson took the bandage from LeBeau. "Help him with his arms"

LeBeau nodded and held Jout's arms up, and Wilson started to wrap the bandage tightly around Jout's chest. Jout clenched his teeth with every new layer of the bandage and hoped that Wilson would be finished soon.

"There we go," announced Wilson after a short time. "Are there any other injuries you have besides the obvious ones in your face?"

Jout held out his right hand. "I can't really move my wrist"

Wilson examined the hand closely. "Can't you move it at all, or is it only difficult?"

"It's difficult, and it hurts immediately"

The medic laid Jout's hand on his knee. "Luckily, it's only sprained, and not broken. But I will put your wrist in a cast, just to be on the safe side"

"LeBeau, could you please set the pot with the warm water onto the stool next to me, so I can apply the plaster bandages without spilling so much water?"

LeBeau did as ordered, while Wilson placed the bandages on Jout's left knee. After LeBeau placed the pot next to Jout's right knee, Wilson started to dunk the individual bandages into the water, and then on Jout's wrist, creating a cast from Jout's hand to his elbow, that made it possible for him to wear his officer shirt with a rolled up sleeve.

"You can dress up when it's dry. Until then, I will treat your facial wounds"

Wilson took a wet cloth and cleaned up the blood that was all over Jout's face. With the blood gone, he was able to see his patient's wounds clearly. The right side of his face was vigorously swollen, which prevented Jout from opening his right eye. Furthermore, he had a cut on his left cheek, right under the eye and a burst lip. Wilson acted like a professional and stitched the cut, but inwardly he was asking himself how someone could do something like that to another person.

Ten minutes later, he was finished and said to LeBeau, "You can help him dress now"

The Frenchman went over to the desk, on which another one of Jout's shirt lay that he had retrieved from the American's footlocker earlier.

"I think we can take off the cast in two weeks; by then everything should be healed. Your ribs will need six to eight weeks, but I think you won't need the bandage anymore in three weeks. Since it will loosen up when you move, the bandage has to be applied again every three days. This can be done by someone in the barracks; you don't have to come to me for that. Slow it down a bit, but don't slacken off too much; we don't want you to get pneumonia. If the pain gets worse, I can give you some painkillers. I will check in on you next week, alright?"

"Yeah, thanks Sergeant," said Jout, while LeBeau tried to slip his undershirt over his head without hurting him too much.

Wilson packed his bag and went to the door. "Get well soon, Lieutenant"

He entered the main room, and Hogan jumped off his stool immediately, with the others close behind.

"How is he?" asked Hogan.

"He's doing fine, Colonel. Some of his ribs are broken and his wrist is sprained. I plastered his wrist and put a bandage around his chest. I stitched the cut on his cheek too. His chest bandage has to be re-applied every three days, and the cast should be removed in two weeks"

"Is there anything we should pay attention to?"

"Get me as soon as he starts to breathe too shallow; this could end in an oxygen deficiency. But otherwise, just try to keep him out of any more fights in the next weeks" Wilson made his way to the door to leave the barracks, when he turned around. "Oh, I almost forgot. In which bunk does he sleep in?"

Slightly confused, Hogan pointed to Kinch and Jout's bunk. "The upper one is his"

"It would be best if he switches with someone who occupies a lower bunk as long as his ribs are not completely healed"

"He can have mine," said Carter.

Wilson nodded and left the barracks.

* * *

"Thanks for your help, LeBeau. I really appreciate it," said Jout as LeBeau helped him into his shirt.

"No need to thank me. It goes without saying to help a friend in need"

Jout smiled, but his mind was engaged in trying to figure out how to sell the whole 'Brawley beat me up because I owed him money' story to his brother. He had to make him believe it, so that he would not investigate any further.

He had to prevent his past from catching up with him.

* * *

 **2nd Author's note: I'm not a medic, and therefore I have no real knowledge about treating wounds. But I researched and I watch a lot of Grey's Anatomy, so here you can admire my television-medical knowledge :)**


	12. Chapter 12

Jout tried to straighten his shirt collar even though he didn't really have the capacity to raise his arms this high when the door opened. He saw how Hogan and the others entered the small room, awkwardly looking at him.

"It is not as bad as it looks" He smiled. "Wilson says I will be as good as new in six to eight weeks"

Hogan stepped closer to him. "What happened?"

"I already told you, it was about money I owe him"

He tried to avoid eye contact with his brother, and looked back at his shirt, fumbling with the buttons.

"I don't believe you," said Hogan in a stern voice. "Why should someone pitch such a fit and wallop you just because of some money you owe him? Have you seen your face?"

He wasn't sure how to put the next things so that Jout would not be angry at him. He sighed and decided to be plain honest with him. "Is it because of their blackmailing and your complaint?"

Jout slowly looked up from his buttons, having only managed to button up about half of his shirt. His facial expression was unreadable to Hogan.

"How do you know about that?" Before Hogan could answer, Jout added, "Have you been checking on me with London?"

Hogan lowered his glance, a feeling of guilt rising up in him.

Jout looked at Carter and Newkirk, who all tried to avert his hurtful glance. "Guys, please don't tell me you all knew about it"

Upon receiving no answer, he shook his head. "I can't believe it. You all went behind my back?"

"Come on, Josh. What should we do?" Hogan started explaining. "We were worried about you"

"And so you ask London rather than your own brother?" Jout snorted.

"I tried to. But you stormed away, and gave me no other choice"

"Maybe I didn't want you to know about it!" he yelled. "Ever thought about that? Maybe I didn't want to talk about something that happened a long time ago, and which has nothing to do with what happened today"

Jout went over to the bunk and took his jacket. "He was just angry about the fact I didn't pay him his money back when I left the squadron. End of the story"

He made his way over to the door, but it was blocked by Kinch.

"Kinch, could you please step aside? I want to leave"

Kinch didn't react, and Jout heard Hogan ask, "And what will happen when they get out of the cooler?"

Jout turned around and gave his brother a questioning look.

"Maybe next time he beats you, it will not end well"

"There won't be a next time, Rob. I will clear my debts and then everything will be fine again. And you know what? I can really go without friends who nose around behind my back"

He turned around and Hogan motioned for Kinch to let him go.

When Jout left the room, Kinch asked, "Should I still call for General Gallagher?"

Hogan looked at his feet. Then he sighed and said, "Yes. This fight was not about some money, it was about something much more important. Something, Jout is too afraid to talk about. And I need to know what it is, so I can help him before something much worse happens"

Kinch nodded and left the room.

Hogan turned his attention to the other men in the room. "I need to talk to someone who was in the same unit like Jout. Perhaps there is an American prisoner in this camp who can help us. I want you to ask around, and if you find him, bring him to me. But be careful; Jout cannot know about it, alright?"

At first Newkirk was against the thought of spying on Jout, especially since he made clear that he wishes to keep his past to himself. But he knew Jout was lying; and he wanted to help him as much as the Colonel does.

So Newkirk caved in and answered, "Alright"

Then he, Carter and LeBeau left the room and started their hunt around the camp.

* * *

Jout banged the door shut. He was foaming with rage about his friends. At least he thought they were his friends. How could they go behind his back, asking London about his past? After all, it was **his** past and **his** privacy. But besides feeling angry and betrayed, there was fear rising up in him. They had already discovered his complaint, and they knew about Brawley's illegal methods of blackmailing the unit. Maybe they would also find out about his real reason to ask for a transfer. And if that happened, he could just ask one of the Krauts to kill him.

 _Calm down, Jout! Don't drive yourself crazy. How should they ever find out about it? You have never told a living soul about the horrible months after Henri's death. So there is no way for Rob to find out. Everything will be fine!_

Jout slowly walked to the Rec Hall, always trying to position his upper body as upright as possible to reduce the sharp pain he felt. Even with only one fully functional eye, he noticed the other prisoners staring at him, and also how they whispered to each other when he was walking past them. Jout tried his best to ignore them, because he didn't want to give them another reason to be the number one topic to be talked about. A fight and an outburst at the same day would really be too much for his image; he was an officer, after all, who had to make sure that he would be respected by the enlisted men. Being trashed by a group of sergeants was enough he had to cope with.

He reached the Rec Hall and looked around the room, hoping to find his best friends outside his own barracks. He caught sight of Embrey who was currently playing ping-pong with Ashton. Jout raised his right hand as high as possible to greet Embrey after he had spotted him too.

"Man, Jout, you look like hell!" was Embrey's first reaction.

Ashton turned around and added, "We have heard of what happened earlier. How do you feel?"

Jout moved closer to the ping-pong table and slapped hands with the other men. "Well, how would you feel with broken ribs and a swollen face?"

"Jeez!" exclaimed Embrey. "Brawley must have hit you really hard"

"How do you know it was Brawley?"

Embrey came closer and patted his shoulder. "News like that travel fast" He winked at Jout and said, "Come on, let's go to a table to play some poker"

Jout followed the 23-year-old Australian Corporal with the frizzy amber blonde hair to a nearby table while Ashton got cards and a jar full of buttons from one of the shelves near the stage. He was also an Australian Corporal, but he was two years younger than Embrey and he had unkempt ginger hair. Right after Jout had first met them, they became close friends and they told him they knew each other since basic training.

Ashton sat down with them and distributed the buttons among them as some kind of money replacement. The prisoners had started to collect buttons that were no longer needed to have something to play with since gambling was forbidden.

Embrey started to shuffle the cards and said, "Tell me, Jout, why are you here with us in the Rec Hall instead of your barracks?"

Jout looked down at his knee, which bobbed up and down and bid his lip. "Well, Rob and I had an argument and I just needed fresh air"

Embrey raised an eyebrow. "I thought the Colonel and you were on good terms now"

He dealt the cards and Jout picked them up. A pair of threes, a five, a ten, and a jack.

He places one button as the first bet, and after Embrey and Ashton followed him, he discards the five and the ten. "We were – are…I…don't know"

He receives another jack and a seven.

Jout leant forward and lowered his voice. "He saw that I wasn't all that happy about meeting Brawley and his friends again. I didn't tell him why, because frankly, that's none of his business. And instead of respecting my privacy, he checks on me with London. Behind my back!"

He leaned back again, and raised by two buttons.

"I'm sure he only wanted to protect you," said Ashton. "You are his brother. Don't take it to heart"

Jout answered sarcastically, "Yeah, well I'm sure he always wanted my best" He laid his cards down to take off his jacket. "It's a matter of principle. He betrayed me by meddling with my problems"

Embrey folded. "You must not take such a narrow view" He then saw Jout's half-unbuttoned shirt and pointed out, "I know you are only twenty, but didn't your parents tell you how to dress yourself?"

Jout looked down and noticed his unmade shirt. He started to button up the rest of the shirt and explained, "I was so angry at Rob and the others that I hastened away"

"Well, back to my point. You should forgive him. You told him now that you don't want him to spy on you; everything's fine"

Jout slowly nodded. He then showed his cards and announced, "I won. Two pairs"

* * *

"No one? Not one of the prisoners was with them?" Hogan looked up from his desk.

"You can believe us, Colonel. We asked every single person in this camp; except the Krauts, of course," Carter jokingly confirmed.

They all stood in Hogan's office, after two hours of going around and trying to go unnoticed while working out who could help them. But not one of the American prisoners was with Jout in the same unit. Some were in one of the two other squadrons, but they had not heard about anything that happened in the other units. And that left Hogan as wise as before.

He ran his fingers through his thick black hair and declared, "You will ask every American who will be brought to this camp. We need to know what happened, preferably before the three get out of the cooler. That gives us thirty days"

Newkirk, who up until now sat on the lower bunk, decided to speak up. He had to tell the Colonel about his queasy consciences relating to nose around in Jout's privacy.

"Ahem, gov'nor," he stammered. "I…think we should not…do this"

Hogan turned to the Englishman. "What?"

"Ya know, chip in 'is past. It's 'is privacy, after all; and 'e obviously doesn't want us to know, which 'e is perfectly entitled to" He looked down and nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other.

Carter and LeBeau looked at each other, and then back at Hogan, waiting for his reaction.

Hogan moved closer to Newkirk and pointed to his collar. "Do you see this eagle? It means that I give orders, and you will follow them. Have I made myself clear?"

"Yes, Colonel," answered Newkirk, and left the office straightaway with LeBeau and Carter close behind.

He went to his bunk to pick up his card deck. Then he settled himself at the table and dealt himself a round of solitaire. "I still think it's wron' "

LeBeau went to the stove and said, "I don't like the idea either, but orders are orders. Besides, do you want Jout to get hurt again? I'm sure these guys won't change their mind just because of thirty days in the cooler"

Before Newkirk could answer, they heard the bunk bed rose and Kinch climbed up the ladder. Still standing on the ladder, he said, "Can someone of you get the Colonel? I reached the General" And with that, Kinch left them again for the radio station.

Newkirk made no intentions to stand up, and therefore Carter rose from his bunk and knocked on the Colonel's door. He then opened the door and announced, "Kinch says he reached the General"

He didn't need to explain any further, because Hogan hurried past him and climbed down into the tunnel; followed by LeBeau and Carter. Reluctantly, Newkirk stood up and went after them, because of a small voice in his mind that wanted to know what the General had to say.

He reached the radio station in time to hear Hogan say, "This is Goldilocks"

Newkirk placed himself offside the group, leaning against the tunnel wall. He reached in his pocket for one of his last cigarettes until the next Red Cross packages would arrive. He tried his best to reduce his smoking in order to ration his smokes, but now he desperately needed one.

" _Ah, Goldilocks,"_ General Gallagher said. _"What can I do for you?"_

"I had hoped you were able to enlighten me on the subject of why _Golden Eagle_ decided to leave the Eagle's," Hogan said, using code words to not endanger the operation and the men.

" _I would like to help you, Goldilocks, but I'm stumped for an answer. The last time I talked to him in person was in 1941; almost one year prior to his transfer"_

"I'm already familiar with this story," Hogan said. "But maybe he has written to you, or someone else told you the reason"

" _Again, I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I really have no idea of why he wanted to leave. Though I have to be honest, I'm not in charge with the staffing. Perhaps you have more luck with his CO,"_ Gallagher suggested.

"We already talked to him, and he doesn't know anything either"

" _Too bad,"_ he answered. _"Is there any particular reason why you want to know about his motivations?"_

"We have some trouble with his old comrades, but nothing to worry about, General. It was nice talking to you"

Newkirk didn't wait for the General's answer. He had left the tunnel moments earlier, returning to his game of solitaire.

* * *

 **A/N: I know that Hogan sounds a little bossy with the whole "Do you see this eagle?" remark. But it seemed appropriate in this situation, since he is worried about his brother, but knows that Jout doesn't want him spying behind his back. So I thought he would not like Newkirk to openly doubt his orders.**


	13. Chapter 13

Jout, Embrey and Ashton entered the Mess Hall after they had spent the whole evening playing cards. It was already filled with prisoners who looked disgusted and tried to gulp down the bread and thin soup they got two times a day. Normally, Jout ate the dish LeBeau had cooked in their barracks, but he was not in the mood to see them again. He was still angry about their spying. Well, it was not really that Hogan had asked London. Jout understood his brother's intentions. After all, he did act strange after he first saw Brawley, and then the fight, which ended with him having broken ribs and a sprained wrist. It was the fear that Hogan and the others could find out about his past, about who he was, that made Jout wanting to prevent them from searching any further. They already knew about Brawley's blackmailing and his complaint. If Hogan would find out what really happened between him and Brawley, Jout could just as well kill himself straight away, because there was no way he would be able to look one of his friends in the eyes ever again. No, he had to take care of Brawley on his own, at all costs.

They got their food and settled down at one of the tables.

Jout dipped his bread into the soup, when he heard Embrey say, "Good luck, guys! Hopefully the soup decides to stay in my stomach this time"

"I hope that too," answered Ashton. "I don't want to spend another night listening to you vomiting into a bucket"

"Hey!" exclaimed Embrey, trying to sound insulted. "I wasn't happy about it either"

Jout looked up from his bowl, rather annoyed. "Gee, Embrey! You really know how to whet one's appetite"

The two Australian corporals started laughing, and Jout simply shook his head, but with a smile on his face. He had to hand it to them; they managed to keep their cheerful spirit even in a stinking place like this.

Out of nowhere, someone sat down on the stool next to him. He turned his head, and saw that it was Kinney, an American Airman from barracks 7.

"I need to talk to you," was all he said.

Jout laid down his piece of bread. "Go for it"

Kinney looked around the hall, as if to make sure they were not watched. "I don't know what you did; maybe it has to do with your fight with Brawley, but they have asked questions about you"

Now he had Jout's full attention. From the looks on the two Australian's faces, they were alarmed too.

"Who?"

"Your friends from barracks 2. Newkirk, Kinch, Carter and the short Frenchman" Again, Kinney looked around. It really seemed like he feared that someone was watching their conversation.

"You mean LeBeau?" Jout asked.

"Yeah, that's the one," Kinney answered. "They were asking all the American prisoners in which units they were before being shot down and sent to Stalag 13. They never mentioned your name, but whenever someone mentioned the Eagles Squadrons, they instantly asked if he was with the 121st. And I know you've mentioned this was your former unit"

Jout couldn't believe what he had just heard. His so-called friends betrayed him, again! And on top of that, Rob, his own brother, betrayed his trust with not respecting his wish to keep his past to himself. Jout felt like he was seven all over again, realizing his brother was not who he thought he was.

"Have they found one?" Panic was rising up in Jout. If Rob would find one of his former comrades, it was over.

"No. And those who were in the Eagle Squadrons said they don't know anything about the other squadrons" Kinney leaned forward. "Listen, Jout, it's none of my business to know what happened between Brawley and you. But whatever it is, it's best you settle it if you don't want the others to know. They're definitely already suspicious"

Kinney stood up and tried to make the impression that Jout and he had an ordinary conversation. "Well, enjoy your meal, guys. See you"

He left the group and Jout called, "Thanks, Kinney!" Then he snorted, "Who of you wants to talk about "The Colonel knows now that you don't want him to spy on you"?"

* * *

After dinner, Jout said goodbye to the Australian corporals and slowly walked back to his barracks. It was time for the evening roll call, which he dreaded. Because it meant to be locked up in one barrack with the five people he least wanted to be cooped up with the next ten hours until morning roll call. When he came near the commandant's office, he saw how the others were strolling out of the barracks, with Schultz telling them to move faster. Jout got in line, without saying a word to the others. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, hoping the pain in his chest would go away. Standing and walking were hurting the most; therefore he prayed that Klink would spare them his babbling, so that he could sit down. That's the other thing he noticed. Sitting did not hurt. Hopefully lying down would not hurt either; otherwise it would going to be a long night.

"Are you alright, Josh?" he heard Hogan asked. Apparently, he had noticed his pain-filled face.

Jout opened his eyes and saw how everyone was watching him, looking concerned. "I'm fine, only my chest hurts a bit. Standing is not the best thing to do at the moment"

Thankfully, roll call didn't take long and Jout was able to sit down at the common table.

"Do you need anything?" Hogan sounded worried. "Should I call for Wilson?"

"You don't have to. I just have to sit down, that's all" Hogan nodded, and headed to his office, when Jout added, "There is one thing"

Hogan stopped in his tracks. "What is it?"

Jout stood up and went to the stove to get himself a cup of tea. Casually, he said, "You could tell me why the hell you're asking the American prisoners if they served with me in the same unit"

The barracks fell silent. Hogan glanced at the others, as if to say, "I thought I ordered you to maintain a low profile"

Jout noticed his glance. "Don't blame them. I didn't note it personally. But have you really thought I wouldn't have friends who tell me if you spy on me?"

"Josh, you have to understand…" started Hogan.

"No, Rob, I don't!" Jout interrupted. "You have to understand that I don't want you to pry about things that are not your business. Ask me what you want to know, and I tell you as much as I want you to know" He put down his mug. "I mean, everyone has things they don't want the others to know about. We all keep things to ourselves. And frankly, we have every right to do so"

Jout sat down again. "Go ahead; ask me what you want to know"

The others were watching him closely. They were obviously not used to someone giving Hogan contra.

Hogan sat down, opposite to Jout. "Alright. What was the fight really about?"

Jout thought for a moment to go on with his lie about him owning money to Brawley. But he figured out that if he would tell Hogan a small piece about the real reason, so small that he could never work out the rest of the story, Hogan would maybe leave him alone.

"You're right, I didn't tell the truth earlier," Jout said. "You already know about his criminal methods of getting money from his unit. But I did not put up with their blackmailing. So I made a complaint which came to nothing because of Fanbrick's father"

"We know that too," answered Hogan.

"Well, since nothing happened through the official channels, I took matters into my own hands. That's what the fight was about"

During his explanation, the others also settled around the common table, staring into their mugs to avoid Jout's glance. They were still embarrassed about him finding out that they were asking questions behind his back.

"What did you do?" Hogan wanted to know.

"That's of no importance," Jout answered. He stood up yet again and went to his bunk bed. "I told you everything you need to know, and with that the matter has been taken care of"

He was still angry with them, but was sure that if he made a scene right now, the others would be all the more suspicious. So Jout thought it would be the best to leave the matter alone, and he started climbing up the bunk bed to retrieve a book from the shelf next to his bunk. Though he should not have done that, because a sudden pain shot through his body. He yelped and fell backwards. But he didn't meet the hard ground like expected, because he was caught by a pair of strong arms. It was Newkirk, who had jumped up immediately when he saw Jout climbing up the bunk bed.

"Blimey!" he exclaimed. "Are ya tryin' to imitate Superman, or what? Ya can't use the upper bunk with broken ribs"

Jout looked him in the eyes, and was startled when he felt a tingling in his stomach.

Somehow scared, he shoved Newkirk away and straightened his jacket. "And where do you suppose should I sleep?"

"You can use mine," Carter piped up. "Do you need anything from your shelf?"

Jout didn't hear Carter at first. He was watching Newkirk, who looked a bit shocked after Jout shoved him away, which made him feel miserable. It was not his intention to hurt the other man's feelings, but right now, his own feelings were scaring him. If Jout interpreted his reaction to Newkirk's embrace right, then he was in trouble. But for now, he decided to banish this thought, and just ignore the signs.

Seeing the questioning look on Carter's face, he answered, "A book with a blue cover"

Carter nodded, and climbed up the bunk to get the book. He jumped back down and said, "Here"

"Thanks," Jout mumbled and went to Carter's, now his, bunk.

He settled down with his back against the barracks wall, sitting cross-legged. He was aware that the others were watching him, but he didn't care about it. If they wanted to stare at him, who was he to stop them? Jout opened the book and flicked through it, until he found the page he was looking for. It was a self-made Christmas present from Henri for their first Christmas they celebrated together. The book contained various poems from all possible epochs and all sorts of poets. Before Jout had met Henri, he didn't understand why people were fascinated by poetry. For him, poetry had always been short texts that often made no sense with a rhyming structure. But Henri showed him how interesting poems could be, once you were able to see the hidden meaning. And now, after Henri's death, this book helped Jout to feel close to him again, especially when he read Henri's favourite poem. Every double page contained one poem on the right side, and the left side was empty. Henri told him the purpose of the empty page was so that he could write down whatever he felt or thought when reading the poem. Up until now, Jout had only used the left side once, to stick a picture of Henri next to Henri's favourite poem.

Jout touched Henri' face, and had a hard time holding back his tears. It was painful to think about his comrade, his best friend, the man he loved. The day Henri died, he had asked Jout to marry him. He knew they could not get married officially, since they were two men, but he wanted to buy matching rings, and he had convinced the town's vicar to marry them. It would have been a clandestine marriage, of course. Because if the right people in their unit had found out about them, they would have made their lives a living hell. But Jout didn't need to worry about that, because ten hours after he had said yes, he got the message that Henri was shot down. And three days later he had the certainty that the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with, had not been taken prisoner, but was killed by an antiaircraft battery.

Jout closed his eyes to prevent him from shedding tears. After some time he calmed down and started reading the poem he searched for.

 _In Flanders field the poppies blow_

 _Between the crosses, row on row,_

 _That mark our place; and in the sky_

 _The larks, still bravely singing, fly_

 _Scarce heard amid the guns below._

 _We are the Dead. Short days ago_

 _We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,_

 _Loved and were loved, and now we lie_

 _In Flanders fields._

 _Take up our quarrel with the foe:_

 _To you from failing hands we throw_

 _The torch; be yours to hold it high._

 _If ye break faith with us who die_

 _We shall not sleep, though poppies grow_

 _In Flanders fields_

He didn't know how long he had stared at the picture, or how often he had read the poem that evening. But the next thing he can remember was that Carter tapped him on his knee, telling him it was time for lights out. Jout looked up from his book and saw the other men getting ready for bed. He thanked Carter and stripped down to his undershirt and shorts, always careful not to move too much, in order to prevent his chest from hurting. He laid down the rest of his uniform onto his bed where his feet would be, so that he could dress up quickly in the morning, without searching for his clothes.

The men said goodnight to each other, and Jout just hoped he would be able to catch some sleep; in between sorrowful thoughts and an aching body.

* * *

 **A/N: I don't owe the poem I used. It's called** _ **"In Flanders fields"**_ **, written by Canadian physician Lieutenant-Colonel John McCrea after the funeral of his friend and fellow soldier Lieutenant Alexis Helmer, who died in the Second Battle of Ypres, during the First World War. It is one of the most popular and most quoted poems from the war. Its reference to the** _ **red poppies**_ **that grew over the graves of fallen soldiers resulted in the** _ **remembrance poppy**_ **becoming one of the world's most recognized memorial symbols for soldiers who have died in conflict.**


	14. Chapter 14

_Jout opened his eyes, and immediately squinted because of the light._

" _Wait a moment," he thought. "How can there be light in the barracks?"_

 _He propped himself up, and looked around to see that he was not lying on a thin and uncomfortable mattress in the barracks, instead he found himself lying on grass, and all around him was not a single person. Jout now fully opened his eyes, since they got used to the light, and it appeared as he was in a park. There was a river dividing the patch of grass he sat on with trees along the riverbank that provided shade, and above him was a glorious blue sky. This place seemed awfully familiar to Jout, yet at the same it was disconcerting. Why was he the only one in this place? And why did it feel so real, even though he knew he must be dreaming?_

" _Wake up, Sleeping Beauty!" joked a voice behind him. "We didn't see each other for one year, and you're sleeping through our reunion"_

" _This voice," he thought. "It can't be!"_

 _Jout slowly turned around, and was greeted by a grinning young man, who stood right in front of him._

" _Luckily for you, I don't take it personal" The young man dressed in an American flight uniform sat down. "I'm far too happy to finally see you again!"_

" _H…Henri?" Jout stammered. "Where are we? And what are we doing here?"_

" _Don't you remember this place? It's Battersea Park; it's here that I finally had the courage to tell you how I feel"_

" _Of course I remember. But without people, it looks quite strange"_

 _Henri moved closer to Jout sliding his arm around the other man's waist. "Yeah, but now we can talk without getting interrupted" Then he smirked. "And we can do this…"_

 _He closed the remaining distance between them and kissed him fiercely. Jout laid back into the grass again, pulling Henri on top of him. Then he slightly opened his mouth, running his tongue over Henri's lips. This made the other man moan, and he parted his lips too, so that their tongues could intertwine. At the same time, Jout ran his hands down Henri's waist, drawing him nearer. He was completely lost in the moment, forgetting the pain he had felt the last year, as he tried to save the feeling of Henri in his arms in his mind. At last, they broke apart for air, and Henri put his hands beside Jout's head, so that he was able to look him in the eyes. Jout moved his right hand behind Henri's head and drove with his fingers gently through his well-groomed golden blonde hair._

" _As much as I love this arrangement," Jout smiled. "You said you wanted to talk"_

 _Henri's smile faded, and he rolled off Jout. Then he stood up, pulling Jout with him._

 _While he led them to a bench at the riverbank, he said, "Well, actually, you want to talk. This is your dream, remember?"_

" _So, you're doing what my subconscious mind wants you to do?"_

 _They sat down on the bench, and Henri squeezed his hand tenderly. "That's right. I'm here so you can talk about the things you're preoccupied with"_

 _Jout laid his hand on Henri's knee. "And what do I want to talk about?"_

" _For example, Brawley's appearance"_

 _Jout stiffened, and he removed his hand. "That's something I definitely don't want to discuss"_

" _But we have to," Henri said softly. "He threatens to tell the Germans you're gay. Do you have any idea in what kind of dangerous situation you're in?"_

 _Jout sprang to his feet and began to pace in front of the older French-American. "Of course I know that! I'm not stupid"_

 _Henri remained seated and watched him pacing. "But you're apparently not too bright either" He crossed his arms. "Why don't you just talk to your brother? He's the Senior POW, and he wants to help you"_

 _The younger man stopped. "Yeah, and what if he doesn't accept that I'm gay?" he raged. "Ever thought about that?"_

" _He's your brother, Jout! I'm sure he'll accept it"_

" _Oh, please. Don't be so naïve" Jout rolled his eyes. "You know as well as I do that the likes of us should not take acceptance for granted. Sure, most people don't care whether someone is gay or not, but there is still a huge number of people out there who think of us as sinners"_

 _Before Henri could say anything further, Jout added, "After thirteen years, I finally have my brother back. And I will not jeopardise our relationship"_

" _At least tell him about Kisro. I am certain he will send Brawley and those two other idiots to London when he knows about him"_

" _And tell Rob I killed Kisro! Excellent idea" Then he looked at him puzzled. "How do you know about Kisro? You were already dead when the whole ordeal started"_

 _It felt strange to mention Henri's death to Henri. On the other hand, this was a dream, and making out with his dead lover was something even more strangely._

" _I've been watching you since my death," Henri answered calmly. "How do you think I know about Brawley?" Then he stood up and walked to Jout, placing his hands on the other man's shoulders. "I don't want to hear you saying you killed Kisro ever again, alright? Because you didn't, mon chéri"_

 _Jout wrapped his arms around Henri, and laid his head on his shoulder. "Can we stop talking about Brawley, please? I will deal with him, trust me"_

 _Henri gently stroked Jout's back, and kissed the top of his head. "Then talk about your feelings for this Brit"_

 _Jout tensed and disengaged himself from Henri's embrace. "I don't have feelings for Newkirk"_

" _Ah, Newkirk, that's his name," Henri said. "And now you're the one who is naïve; remember, I've been watching you"_

 _Jout settled back onto the bench and leaned on his knees. He put his face in his hands and sighed. "And may I ask you what you saw. I mean, I should know the best what I feel for someone, don't you think?"_

 _Henri laughed. "Yes, because we never deny our feelings. I, for one, denied my feelings for you too at first. But back to your question; I saw how you always smiled when you sat behind the barracks with him. And that you liked to be paired up with him on missions"_

 _Jout didn't react, therefore Henri put his hand on his lover's back. "There's nothing wrong about falling in love, mon chéri"_

" _First, I'm not falling in love with him. He's just a good friend. Second, the reason I like being paired up with him on missions is that I trust him blindly, because I know that he'll always have my back. And third, just because I like talking to him, doesn't mean I fall for him"_

" _Ah, Jout, you sound just like me when I tried to talk myself into believing that I only liked you as a friend" He looked him deeply in the eyes. "It hurts me to see that you harden your heart against any kind of romantic relationship since my death. You're only 20 Jout! You can't grieve about me forever"_

 _Jout jumped up again. "I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! How do you think I should ever get over your death?" He drove his hand through his brown hair. "You're right that I was not interested in anybody since I've lost you. That's probably the reason why my mind reacted the way it did when Newkirk embraced me. I will just keep my distance to him the next few days, and then you will see it was all a fantasy"_

 _Henri shook his head and walked over to him. "You have to promise me something" He took Jout's hands in his. "Don't mourn after me the rest of your life. Go on, and find someone who loves you as much as I loved you. Because you deserve the bright and shared future we shaped for ourselves. Only that you will have it with someone else"_

 _Suddenly, Henri yelped in pain, and brought his hand to his stomach._

" _Henri!" Jout exclaimed worried. "What happened?"_

 _He rushed to his lover and put his right hand on the other man's shoulder. Henri looked up at Jout and removed his hand. It was covered in blood._

" _It's time for me to leave," Henri whispered._

" _No, no, no; you can't leave be again. Here, lie down"_

 _Jout helped him to lie down, and opened his flight jacket to see his shirt already soaked in blood. Panicky, he ripped part of his own shirt off to use it as some sort of a compressor._

" _J…Jout" Henri raised his arm and put it on Jout's to comfort him. "It's alright; I'm already dead. It's just a sign that our time is over"_

 _Tears started to run down Jout's face. "But I don't want it to be over. I love you!"_

" _And I love you too. Forever and ever. But we both have to accept that you are still alive; and that you have to move on…" His voice trailed off and he closed his eyes._

" _Henri!"_

Jout shot up in his bunk, but immediately fell back, because of the sharp pain he felt in his chest. He squinted his eyes shut, trying to block out the pain, and started to breathe fast and shallow. While he tried to control his breathing again, he thought about his dream. It was not the first time he had dreamt about Henri since he died, but it was the first time that the dream felt like reality. When he held him in his arms, and when they kissed, he forgot for just one moment that everything was only happening in his mind. But Jout's thoughts were interrupted when he felt the bunk bed moving.

A sleepy face appeared from the top bunk. "Jout?" Newkirk whispered. "Is everythin' alright?"

Jout tried to answer, but the pain in his body was still too intense, so he couldn't do anything besides shallow breathing. Newkirk noticed the other man's cramped position, because of which he was now fully attentive, and he hurried down his bunk as quiet as possible.

He knelt down next to Jout, and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Calm down, and take deep breaths" Newkirk's words didn't seem to help Jout, therefore Newkirk added, "Breathe with me; lon' and deep breaths"

Newkirk started to breathe deeply, and Jout tried to do the same.

" 'at's right, mate. Just do what I do," he tried to talk him down.

After a few more shared deep breathes, Jout was able to control his breathing again. He also loosened his clenched grip at the mattress, which started right when he had begun to hyperventilate.

"Let's get ya sit up; maybe it 'elps ya"

Jout nodded, and with Newkirk's help, he was able to sit up without too much additional anguish. Once he was upright, he moved around and leant against the barracks wall.

Newkirk sat down at the edge of the bunk. "What 'appened" He looked at the American with deep concern. "Should I get Wilson?"

Jout slowly shook his head. "I don't think it's necessary; the pain already starts to ease" He drove with his hand through his tousled hair. "I don't know what happened. I awoke with a violent pain, because of which I was almost transfixed"

"Are ya sure ya don't need a medic? This doesn't sound 'ealthy"

"Have you seen me? My whole body does not look healthy" Jout laughed. "Don't worry; I'll just remain seated for the rest of the night, and I'm sure everything will be fine"

Jout closed his eyes and waited for Newkirk to crawl back into his bunk. He felt like the bunk moved, but then there was a warmth beside him. He opened his eyes to see Newkirk sitting right next to him.

"What are you doing?" he asked perplexed.

Newkirk smiled. "Stayin' with ya; me friends say me shoulder is great to sleep on"

"Oh, you don't have to. Rob needs you for a mission tomorrow; you should be well-rested"

That didn't suit Jout's plans; he wanted to keep his distance to Newkirk in order to prove himself that the tingling he felt earlier was nothing serious. Sitting next to each other under the same blanket, only dressed in their shorts and undershirts would be the exact opposite.

"Rubbish! I can sleep all day lon' tomorrow evenin'. Besides, yer more important to me than me beauty sleep" He smirked and patted his shoulder. "Trust me; I'm makin' an excellent pillow"

Jout thought for a moment, but then surrendered to the exhaustion that was taking over his body. He knew Newkirk wouldn't change his mind, so why arguing with him? And to be honest, there was a small voice in the back of his mind that wanted to be close to him.

"Alright, but don't be angry with me if your back hurts and you're tired in the morning"

He put his head on Newkirk's shoulder and closed his eyes. He was slowly drifting back to the land of dreams, accompanied by Newkirk's steady breathing and the scent of his self-made cologne.


	15. Chapter 15

" _Raus! Raus!_ Wake up! Time for roll call," yelled Schultz, which resulted in a wave of complaints coming from the tired prisoners.

Jout slowly opened his eyes when he felt a blow against the bunk bed. It was Schultz, who tried to make the prisoners wake up. He inwardly groaned, because he didn't want to leave Newkirk's side, since he felt completely comfortable on the other man's shoulder. But this thought somehow scared him, and made Jout open his eyes.

 _What the hell are you thinking? Stop drooling over him! He's the straightest person you know, and you can't risk the others to know about you liking men. Especially not with Brawley in this camp! Choke your feelings down, and get a hold on yourself! This infatuation will be over faster than you know; I just have to keep my distance to him._

Jout removed his head from Newkirk's shoulder, and looked around the barracks. Up until now, no one had noticed that he and Newkirk were in the same bed.

"Good mornin'!" said a cheering British voice next to him.

Jout turned his head, and was greeted by a smiling Newkirk. "Morning," answered Jout, trying to hide his nervousness.

" 'ey, the swelling around yer eye 'as decreased! Ya can almost identify yer face as a face again"

Only now, Jout realized that he was able to see with his right eye. He put a hand on the swelling and slightly touched it, but winced when a faint wave of pain shot through his face.

"Yeah, but it's still a bit sore"

Jout tilted his head when he heard a voice asking, "Newkirk, what are you doing in Jout's bunk?" It was Hogan, who was already fully dressed when he came out of his office.

Newkirk removed the blanket and crawled to the edge of the bunk. "Jout woke up in the night and had difficulties to breathe. I decided to stay with 'im so 'at I would definitely notice when 'e stopped breathin'"

During Newkirk's explanation, Jout tried to stand up from the bunk as fast as possible in his condition, because the whole situation was embarrassing to him.

Hogan grew worried, and asked, "How are you feeling now, Josh?"

"I'm fine," Jout answered while he scurried to put on his pants.

"Well, I want you to see Wilson after roll call anyway. Just to be on the safe side"

Jout buttoned up his shirt, and tucked it in. "That's not necessary; Wilson said he would check on me next week" Jout sat down on the bunk again to put on his shoes. "Believe me, everything's alright"

Hogan came closer to his bunk. "You will go to see Wilson, and that's an order. If necessary, we will drag you over to his barracks. Understood?"

"Sure," mumbled Jout.

He bent down to put his shoes on, but had to stop his task. There was once more this sharp pain in his chest, which always leaves him breathless. Jout sat up and tried to block out the pain, because he didn't want to give his brother another reason to be concerned.

Of course, Hogan noticed it and asked, "What is it, Josh?"

Jout breathed deeply, and then opened his eyes again. "I think putting on my shoes will not work in the next weeks"

"Don't worry," Newkirk chipped in. He was already dressed in his blue RAF uniform, lacing his boots. "I'll 'elp ya"

Before Jout could complain, Newkirk was already kneeling down and helped him into his shoes. This was even more embarrassing than when Hogan asked why Newkirk was in his bunk. Now everyone in the barracks was watching how Newkirk laced his shoes as if he was three years old. But nobody seemed to mind, or had the need to make fun of him, because they all went on dressing and then left the barracks for roll call without saying one word.

When Newkirk was finished, he stood up and clapped his hands. " 'ere ya go"

Jout rose from his bunk and put on his jacket. "Thank you, but you really shouldn't have bothered"

"Yer welcome," Newkirk smiled. "Besides, ya 'ave to put on yer shoes somehow. We don't want ya to be out of uniform, do we?"

He laughed and walked past Jout to leave the barracks.

Hogan patted Jout's shoulder, and led him through the door. "Let's go. I'm sure Schultz is already having a heart attack because he thinks we escaped"

* * *

After roll call, Jout reluctantly went to see Wilson. But at least he was able to convince his brother that it wasn't necessary to send Carter with him to make sure he would really go. He used his stroll through the compound to sort through his mind. In his dream, he had told Henri he would deal with Brawley on his own; however, he had no idea what to do about him. Jout knew Brawley wanted him to help them escape, in exchange for him maintaining silence about his preference for men. But he also knew that he would never get Hogan to let them escape, and with that, jeopardising their group. Jout decided to drop the subject until Brawley and the others would get out of the cooler. He had far more important things to deal with.

Jout reached Wilson's barracks, and knocked on the door before he entered. He saw Wilson sitting at the main table with other prisoners, sipping at his mug.

He removed his hat, and asked, "Sergeant Wilson, could I talk to you for a minute?"

Wilson stood up and said, "Of course, Lieutenant. Follow me"

The two men walked into the adjoining office. Wilson had also a room to himself, so that he was able to examine prisoners who come to him with injuries or afflictions.

He closed the door, and sat down at his desk. "What is troubling you, Lieutenant?"

"My brother wants you to check me over," Jout said. "I had some difficulties breathing in the night, and now he acts like a mother hen"

"The Colonel only cares for you" Wilson motioned for him to sit down on the bunk. "Take off your shirt and undershirt"

Jout did as told, and then sat down. Wilson positioned himself in front of him on a stool, his medical kit right beside him.

"I can see that the swelling is already starting to go down. That's a good sign"

Wilson examined Jout's chest, but luckily, didn't find any hints for a potential rupture of the lung.

"Everything is exactly like it should be, Lieutenant," Wilson declared while Jout dressed himself again. "You will experience some pain during the next six to eight weeks, but that's completely normal. Just try to be careful"

"Thanks, Sergeant" He shook Wilson's hand. "I only hope Rob will be satisfied by that"

* * *

When Jout entered the barracks, the others were already having breakfast. He closed the door behind him and took off his hat and jacket, which he laid down on his bunk.

"What did Wilson say?" asked Hogan, who sat at the head of the table, drinking coffee.

"Everything's fine" Jout settled himself next to Carter, and gratefully accepted the plate with bread that LeBeau handed him. "He says I will be in pain the next weeks, and just have to be careful"

Hogan put down his cup. "He's right, we won't risk anything. You're exempted from any missions until your wounds are healed"

"But what's with the ammo dump we blow up tomorrow?" asked Jout.

"Carter will take over for you"

"But Rob –"

"No buts," interrupted Hogan. "You're hurt, and we won't take a chance that you might receive more injuries. You can stay with Kinch in the radio room, but you won't go on any outside missions. Do I have to pull rank again?"

Jout looked down to his plate. "No, you don't," he mumbled.

* * *

After breakfast, Jout went to the sink to shave. His face might be swollen and cut, and all in all he looks like a punchbag, but that's no reason to be dishevelled. It was a little bit more difficult than usual, with his dominant hand being in a cast, and he cut himself multiple times, but he succeeded in being clean-shaven. Jout smiled as he looked in the mirror, already feeling much better. He hated it to be unshaven, because he thought his face appeared to be chubbier with a five o'clock shadow. Also, his dislike for beard stubbles on him likely derived from his first commanding officer he ever had, right after basic training. It was probably due to his young age, but Colonel Fahlett had a special interest in him. He made sure Jout was not ragged by his comrades, and helped him with extra flying and theory lessons to be one of the best fighter pilots of his squadron. Without him, Jout would definitely not hold the rank of a First Lieutenant at the age of twenty. It was Colonel Fahlett who once said to him, "As a soldier, we always have to appear at our best, clean-shaven and with neatly trimmed clothes, because we represent our country". Since then, he always behaved at his finest, wore only trimmed clothes, and tried to be a model soldier. And apparently, he succeeded in that, because he only received praise from all his commanding officers.

The other occupants of the barracks were doing what they always did. Some were sleeping, some read or wrote letters, Hogan was in his office doing paperwork, LeBeau cooked on the stove, and Carter, Kinch, and Newkirk played cards at the common table. It was always the same after breakfast. Only sometimes they went outside immediately after they finished breakfast, but that only happened when they were ordered to do morning workout.

Jout just put some self-made aftershave lotion on his face, when Schultz entered the barracks. "Where is Colonel Hogan?"

" 'e is in 'is office, Schultzie," Newkirk answered without looking up from his cards.

In that moment, Hogan opened the door to the small room, as if he had sensed that he was wanted. "Hey, Schultz," he greeted. "What can I do for you?"

Schultz went to the stove and sniffed at LeBeau's pot. "The Kommandant wants to see you" He then turned towards Jout. "Oh, and he wants to speak to the Lieutenant too"

Jout turned away from the mirror. "Me, Schultz? Why?"

His friends had stopped playing cards. It was unusual for Klink to speak to anyone else beside Hogan, because he was the Senior POW and therefore, it was his duty to represent his men in front of the Kommandant. Klink normally only speaks to the enlisted men when they were in trouble.

"I don't know," Schultz answered, tasting from LeBeau's soup. "The only thing I know is that my orders are to take the two of you to the Kommandant, _und zwar sofort_ " [immediately]

"Well, then we shouldn't let our beloved Kommandant waiting, don't you think, Josh?" Hogan said, while making his way across the room.

Jout went to his bunk and put on his jacket and hat again, and followed his brother and Schultz to Klink.

On their way to him, Hogan whispered, "You only talk to Klink if he asks you something directly, and if I nod, alright? And don't tell him anything about Brawley's methods of blackmailing. I want to sort that out for myself"

Jout looked to the ground. "I didn't intend to say anything about that at all. Neither to Klink, nor to you"

Before Hogan could say anything further, the group entered Hilda's office. Schultz went to Klink's door and knocked.

"Come in," yelled a voice from inside.

"Kommandant," Schultz said when he entered his office. "Colonel Hogan and Lieutenant Hogan are waiting outside"

"Ah, yes, let them in"

Schultz motioned for them to come in, and the two brothers walked inside, stopping in front of Klink's desk. They gave him a quick salute, and waited for Klink to tell them why he wanted to see them.

Schultz left the office, and Klink asked, "Lieutenant Hogan, I see you are back on your feet. That's good"

"Kommandant, why did you want to see us?" asked Hogan.

"Colonel Hogan, can't I be concerned about the health of my prisoners?" Klink rose from his seat. "But actually, I'd like to know what the fight between Lieutenant Hogan and the Sergeants Brawley, Fanbrick and Leach was about"

"It was about money Lieutenant Hogan owed to Sergeant Brawley," Hogan answered.

"Is that right, Lieutenant?"

Jout looked to his brother, and Hogan slightly nodded.

"Yes, Kommandant," he answered. "We were in the same squadron back in the day, and I borrowed some money from him. Then I was transferred to another unit, and didn't get the chance to pay it back to him"

"And why did he beat you up, Lieutenant?" Klink wanted to know. "An unsettled debt is no reason for an enlisted man to attack an officer"

"He thought I didn't clear my debts purposely, Kommandant. That's all" Jout really hoped he could convince Klink with this poor lie.

Klink remained silent for a moment. Then he addressed Hogan. "Colonel Hogan, I want you to take care of that matter. I don't tolerate any fighting between the prisoners, and I don't want it to happen again"

"Will do, Kommandant," answered Hogan. "When will you release them?"

"In thirty days. And don't even try to talk me into reducing their punishment, Colonel. They attacked an officer, and I want to show every prisoner that I won't allow any rank violations" Klink sat down behind his desk again. "You are dismissed"

Hogan nodded and together with Jout, he left the office.

They walked back to their barracks, and were greeted by Kinch asking, "What did Klink want?"

Hogan sat down at the table. "He wanted to know what the fight was about. And he informed me that he wouldn't release Brawley and the others one day earlier than thirty days, because they attacked an officer"

"So ol' Klink isn't as barmy as we think 'e is!" exclaimed Newkirk, which resulted in everyone laughing.

But Jout did not listen to his friends. He started to have a slight headache, probably from his lack of sleep. So he headed to his bunk to catch up on some sleep. He took of his jacket and hat, and he also kicked off his shoes. This didn't remain unnoticed.

"What are you doing, Josh?" asked Hogan.

"Catching up on some sleep" Jout sat down on his bunk, slipping under the blanket. "I have a headache, and maybe sleep helps"

"Sure, just let us know if it gets worse"

Jout lay down on his back, and closed his eyes. After a few minutes, he slipped into darkness, and was finally able to rest.


	16. Chapter 16

**Warning: This chapter contains pejorative expressions. They do absolutely NOT represent my opinion, and are only used to describe the narrow-mind opinion of some characters.**

* * *

Jout lay down in his bunk while the guys went back to playing poker. From his position, Newkirk had an excellent view on Jout's bunk, and he watched the young American settling back to sleep. Over the course of the last months, Jout had become one of his best mates in this camp besides LeBeau and Carter, and when he had found him unable to breathe properly, his heart sank in his boots. He didn't know what it was, but something inside him snapped at the sight of the suffocating man.

"Hey, Newkirk! Are you going to deal the cards today, or should we come tomorrow?" growled Kinch impatiently.

Newkirk averted his gaze from Jout, and looked back at the cards in his hands. "Don't 'ustle me. It's not like we 'ave to be somewhere"

He started to shuffle the cards while doing some tricks with them, and then dealt the cards. He quickly looked at them and waited for Carter to start the round. Newkirk peeked back at Jout, still feeling concerned about him. His mind drifted back to what happened in the night, and how those brown eyes were full of panic, staring at him out of sheer helplessness. He immediately had a lump in his throat, because Jout's eyes had lost their fierce yet lustrous look, in which he would get lost when they talked in private, behind the storage barracks. He would get lost in a gleaming ocean of chocolate brown eyes beaming at him.

 _Wait, did I just labelled Jout's eyes as a "gleamin' ocean of chocolate brown"? What is wron' with me? And why do I remember the shade of 'is eyes so very well?_

"Pierre," he heard LeBeau saying, pulling him out of his somehow confusing thoughts. "It's your turn, _mon ami_ "

Without really looking, Newkirk threw two cards away, and dealt everyone new cards.

Hogan eyed him with a genuine concern. "Is everything alright, Peter? You seem distant. Is it because of the mission tonight?"

"I'm fine, gov'nor," Newkirk answered. "And I only 'ave to break into Klink's office and get some papers from 'is safe. Piece of cake"

"If you say so," Hogan said, but continued to eye him.

Newkirk glanced back at his cards, and resumed his position as dealer. He avoided observing Jout for quite some time, because he felt the Colonel's scrutinizing look on him, and he didn't want him to notice how he stared at his little brother. After a while, Newkirk felt Hogan looking back at his cards, which gave him the opportunity to watch Jout again. He was sleeping peacefully, and it didn't seem like he had any trouble breathing. Newkirk inwardly sighed with relief, and his mind drifted yet again back to when they found him battered on the compound floor. He was instantly filled with rage, and would have liked nothing more than beating the crap out of Brawley. Besides feeling angry, there was deep concern for the American in him, a worry in his heart he had never in his entire life felt before. He blamed it on their private talks; that Jout just became a close mate. But he knew he was fooling himself. Carter was his closest mate in this stinking camp, and even for him he never felt this kind of concern.

The whole situation was confusing to Newkirk, and slowly but surely he felt uneasy in the barracks; near Jout and Hogan, who he feared maybe was sensing something. He grew more and more tensed, and started to bob his knee up and down. The atmosphere was crushing for him, which resulted in his mind spinning. At last, Newkirk decided he had to leave the barracks. Maybe some fresh air would clear his mind.

Newkirk threw his cards on the table. "I'm out, permanently" He stood up and said, "I'm goin' for a walk to get some fresh air"

He walked over to the door when Hogan asked, "Peter, is really everything fine?"

Newkirk turned around. "Ya can believe me, gov'nor. Everythin' is absolutely fine. I just want to enjoy the warm weather"

He turned to the door again, and before he left the barracks he quickly glanced at Jout, who was still sleeping undisturbed.

* * *

Newkirk strolled through the compound, trying to sort out his thoughts and feelings. In the last months, he had always looked forward to their talks behind the storage barracks. And since Jout opened up to him about his abusive father, he had the feeling that there was some kind of special bond between them; a bond he didn't have with anyone else. Newkirk sighed and kicked against small stones while he was walking. He looked back on how he acted around Jout the last months; and if it was any different then around the other guys. Sure, he liked to be paired up with him on missions the most, but that's only because Jout was a ruddy good underground agent; especially if they had to be German soldiers, since he was fluent in German. So Newkirk was glad when he had to go out with him on missions, because he himself was not fluent, and it eased his nerves knowing the guy next to him can speak German perfectly. So his preference for Jout on missions was simply because of his will to survive, nothing wrong with that. His enjoyment of their private talks? Well, privacy was rare in a POW camp; no wonder he treasured it all the more. Nothing wrong with that either. So far, everything was right as rain. Newkirk even began to smile, but this smile faded quickly when another thought came to him. There was always a strange feeling in his stomach when Jout was close to him, for example when they sat close together at the common table. He didn't know what he felt; he only knew he felt something.

 _Blimey, who am I tryin' to fool? I know exactly what I felt!_

From the first moment he had the strange feeling in his stomach, he knew what it meant. After all, it was not the first time it happened. But he had a reputation as a lady's man to uphold, which he had carefully maintained over the years, and that was something he would not endanger. Newkirk knew most people accepted people like him, and he was utterly grateful that when his mother and sister had found out by accident, their only question was if he was happy. He had surely expected them to cast him out. His father would have definitely done that. But if in the camp word got around that he liked men, he would surely be running the gauntlet. If men are jammed together in a small space, and it gets out that one of them is attracted to the same sex, most of them immediately feel uncomfortable because they think the gay man will try to get off with them. And besides the rejection of his friends, Newkirk feared most that one of the prisoners who is not as unbiased towards homosexuals as others are, will maybe give him away to the Germans; something he had to prevent by all means. That's why he had decided to ignore his feelings and hide them; a skill he had long mastered. But the sight of a beaten and suffocating Jout brought these feelings back to the light of day, and he knew this time it wouldn't be as easy as before to hide them again. This meant Newkirk just had to pull himself together. He was absolutely certain Jout was straight, and even if there would be the slightest hint to doubt that, he would never try to find it out. He simply had to keep his distance to him.

Newkirk had completely lost track of time, and didn't know how long he was walking around. But when he made his way back to the barracks, he was greeted by his fellow prisoners playing volleyball, which meant it was 2pm and time for their daily hour of outside activity. He looked around and thought about joining the game, when his eyes landed on Jout, sitting on the bench by the barracks, reading a book. The same book he was reading yesterday evening for about three hours. And even though he wanted to stay away from him, Newkirk was somehow drawn to the American. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and slowly walked to Jout.

When he reached the reading man, he pointed with his elbow to the unoccupied place next to him and asked, "Mind if I sit there?"

Jout looked up from his book and gave him one of his everlasting smiles. "No, of course not"

Newkirk plopped down beside him and just stared at the volleyball game. He didn't know what to say to him after the insight of his feelings.

However, he didn't have to say anything, because Jout took care of the talking. "Are you feeling fine? The others told me you acted quite strange while playing cards with them"

He turned his head and saw a pair of brown eyes looking at him, full of concern. "I'm feelin' splendid," he answered overly cheerful. "The gov'nor worries too much" Newkirk could see that Jout was not convinced by his jolly answer, so he tried to change the subject. "What are ya readin'?"

Jout looked down at his book, as if he tried to decide whether to tell him about it or not. "It's a collection of poems," he said at last. "A friend of mine gave it to me"

"Poetry? 'at's not me cup of tea"

"As a kid, I wasn't fond of it either. But my friend showed me how interesting poems can be if you understand their true meaning," Jout explained.

Newkirk looked at the open book in Jout's lap, spotting the picture of a man. "Who is 'e?"

Jout stiffened, and then sighed. "He…was…a dear friend of mine. The one who gave me this book"

He raised an eyebrow. "Was?"

"Yeah, he…," the American paused. "He died during a bombing mission last year. His name was Henri"

Newkirk looked to the ground. Though he already knew about it, it seemed more real with Jout telling him than Kinch. Especially because of the slight tremor in Jout's voice.

"I'm sorry to 'ear 'at," he finally managed to say.

Neither said anything for a while. Then Newkirk asked, "Is this 'is favourite poem, or why do ya 'ave a picture of 'im next to it?"

Jout glanced down at the picture and slightly smiled. "Yes, it was. He was absolutely fascinated by John McCrea's _"In Flanders fields"_. Do you know it?"

"Of course I know it," exclaimed the Brit. "Everyone in merrie ol' England knows this poem. Our remembrance poppies 'ave their origin from it"

Jout looked up from the picture again, and turned his head to face Newkirk. "Do you have a favourite poem?"

"Me?" Newkirk laughed. "No; like I already said, poetry is not me cup of tea" Now he also looked at Jout. "Do ya 'ave one?"

"Yeah," Jout said and flicked through the book. "It's called _"Invictus"_ by William Ernest Henley"

"Never 'eard of it before," Newkirk admitted.

"It is Latin for "unconquered". Henley wrote it after the amputation of one of his legs due to complications arising from tuberculosis. His doctor said his other leg needed the same procedure, but Henley searched for another doctor who saved his leg. This experience coupled with his impoverished childhood were the inspirations for the poem," Jout explained. "Do you want to hear it?"

"Yes, I would love to"

And Newkirk wasn't lying. Jout seemed utterly fascinated by this poem, and to be honest, the story behind it did sound quite interesting.

" _Out of the night that covers me,_

 _Black as the pit from pole to pole,_

 _I thank whatever gods may be_

 _For my unconquerable soul._

 _In the fell clutch of circumstance,_

 _I have not winced nor cried aloud._

 _Under the bludgeonings of chance_

 _My head is bloody, but unbowed._

 _Beyond this place of wrath and tears_

 _Looms but the Horror of the shade,_

 _And yet the menace of the years_

 _Finds, and shall find me, unafraid._

 _It matters not how strait the gate,_

 _How charged with punishments the scroll,_

 _I am the master of my fate:_

 _I am the captain of my soul."_

Jout looked up from the book, a rather sheepishly expression on his face. "It reminds me of my childhood, and how I survived it, you know? It gives me strength in times I think I'm failing"

"It really is a beautiful poem, Jout"

There was again silence between the two men, and Newkirk began to watch the volleyball game. But he had a hard time concentrating; however, it didn't have anything to do with Jout. His nicotine withdrawal was showing, and he started to tremble. He had run out of cigarettes in the morning, and the Red Cross packages were not supposed to arrive until next week. This meant he had to survive one week without smokes, or he had to beg his friends for some, which was an undignified action in his opinion.

Jout noticed his quiver, and asked, "Why are you shivering? It's at least 77 degrees!"

"It 'as nothin' to do with the temperature," Newkirk said. "I ran out of smokes"

"Oh, sorry to hear that. I know how much you like to smoke"

Then, Jout searched in his pockets, and held a cigarette pack in front of Newkirk. "Here, take it"

Newkirk started to protest. "I can't take yer pack, Jout. It is me fault 'at I smoke too much and don't ration them properly"

"But I insist on it," Jout said. "Besides, I don't smoke; I only use them for games. So I have a huge bunch of them in my footlocker"

Newkirk eyed the pack, trying to fight against the urge to smoke. But his need for nicotine won. "Thank ya" He took the pack. "But I will give them back to ya"

Jout waved off. "You don't have to. I told you, I don't smoke. And you're my friend"

Newkirk smiled, and lit a cigarette. He spent the rest of the afternoon smoking and sitting next to a reading Jout. And though he would never admit it to himself, he had liked this quiet afternoon in the presence of the young American more than an evening at the Red Lion's pub.

* * *

"Great idea, Paul!" raged Fanbrick, pacing through the cell. "What were you thinking, beating him up? Look where we are now!"

Brawley, who was currently sitting on the small cot next to Leach, only smiled. "Fanbrick, calm down. Everything worked exactly how it was supposed to"

Fanbrick stopped. "You planned that we land in the cooler? Why?"

"That's something I would like to know too," said Leach.

Brawley stood up from the cot, stretching his legs. "Ah, my not so foresightful friends," he said. "Don't you see that we have Hogan exactly where we want him?"

He only received questioning looks from the other two men.

"Guys, we plan to escape for months now, don't we?"

They nodded.

"But Colonel Hogan doesn't allow it. And we all agreed that with his little brother in this camp, we have a chance to escape"

Again, Fanbrick and Leach nodded.

"However, something like that needs careful planning. We can't just go to him and say, "Help us escape!" We need to show Hogan that it's best for him if we are not in this camp "

"But now Colonel Hogan knows something is going on between him and us," Fanbrick interrupted. "You only made him suspicious!"

Brawley laughed. "Don't worry, Earl. I have taken that into account. Now we have Hogan one step closer helping us to escape"

Yet again he was greeted by puzzled faces.

"Oh, come on guys! Don't act so stupid," Brawley said annoyed. "I'm sure Hogan has not told the Colonel about him being a pervert. And you're right with the Colonel being suspicious, which means Hogan has to hide being a deviant from the Germans and his brother. This is just one of our steps to freedom"

Fanbrick gave Brawley an evil grin. "You are a genius, Paul! What are we going to do next?"

Brawley started grinning too, and explained how they would make Jout helping them.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: From now on, it will take me longer for updating chapters (I know that you guys already have to wait long for updates, sorry). From January to May I have to learn and write my final exams which are utterly important to me. But I will try to squeeze in time for writing, just be patient with me :)**

* * *

Jout was pacing in the radio room. Hogan and Carter were currently on a mission to blow up a new ammo dump, and he feared for Carter. He was sure that everything would go off without a hitch, but there was still this nagging feeling inside him because of Carter replacing him due to his injuries. If something would happen to him because of his problems with Brawley, he would never forgive himself.

 _Hopefully nothing happens to him. Oh my, if Carter gets hurt, I definitely have to get out of this camp; he then would be the second person who gets hurt because of me, and I can't bear that! The last time had already been hard enough!_

Jout pinched the back of his nose, and tried to calm himself down.

 _Stop that thinking! Andrew is not George. And Andrew is going to be alright._

Kinch silently watched Jout. He was pacing next to him for the last thirty minutes, not once sitting down. He came down and immediately started pacing, without greeting him, as if Jout had not seen him. When he pinched his nose, Kinch was instantly reminded of Colonel Hogan. He always did the same when he was worried. They definitely were brothers.

"Calm down, Jout!" he said. "They are just out to blow up an ammo dump. We're doing that basically every week"

Jout halted and looked at the African-American, acknowledging him for the first time. "I know that it's a regular job for us, I already did enough of those missions. But I still have a bad feeling about it"

"Why?" Kinch asked.

Most of the times he had to stay behind because of his skin colour, so he was accustomed to the role of the man left behind, waiting for the guys to return. And he always worried for them, but he knew they would come home safe.

"I just have this feeling. I can't really explain it"

"No, I don't mean why you have a bad feeling. I want to know why you are acting this agitated"

Jout glanced away. "I don't know what you're talking about"

"Oh, come on, Jout!" Kinch exclaimed. "This is not the first time you are staying behind, and not the first time you have a disquieting feeling. However, it's the first time you're pacing for thirty minutes in the radio room"

"Gee, can't a guy be worried about his brother and best friend?" Jout asked, sounding slightly furious.

He could not tell him about George without spilling his secret, so he had to convince him that he was just acting like a normal brother and friend. But he knew Kinch would not buy this explanation. Jout only hoped Kinch would not question his motives. When Kinch didn't ask any further, he started pacing again like he did the last thirty minutes. Kinch only sighed and shook his head. He knew Jout was hiding something from him, but figured that he would not get him to speak at that moment, and turned his attention back to the radio in front of him. Jout was wrapped up in his thoughts again, and didn't notice Newkirk climbing down the ladder.

" 'ey Kinch, 'ave ya seen Jout? 'e wanted to check if the gov'nor and Carter are back," the Brit asked while climbing down.

"I have," Kinch answered, and pointed at the other American.

Newkirk gave him a questioning look at the sight of the pacing man, and Kinch answered, "He's been doing this for the past thirty minutes. Says he has a bad gut feeling"

Newkirk gave Jout a worried glance. Though he had decided to keep his distance to him as far as possible in a POW camp, he could not just leave him like that.

"Jout, don't ya feel well?" he asked, but received no answer.

He looked back at Kinch, who only shrugged. "He didn't answer me too; just before you came down he talked to me for the first time"

Against better knowing what would happen to him and his feelings for Jout if he spent too much time alone with the American, Newkirk tilted his head at Kinch, motioning for him to leave. He gave him a pleading look in order to not seem rude for throwing him out of his own radio room.

Kinch nodded in understanding and said, "I go get myself a cup of coffee"

Newkirk watched him climb up the ladder to the barracks, and turned his attention back to Jout, who was still pacing undisturbed.

"Jout," he called out again. "Can ya 'ear me?"

Upon receiving no answer, Newkirk moved closer to Jout and laid his hand on the other man's shoulder.

Jout literally jumped away from him, apparently having been frightened by Newkirk's touch. "Are you crazy?" Jout exclaimed. "Sneaking up on me like that"

"Well, ya 'ave not reacted when I asked ya somethin'. Tell me 'ow I should 'ave gotten yer attention otherwise," Newkirk asked calmly.

"You're having my attention now. What do you want?" snapped Jout.

He immediately regretted his attitude, but the feelings inside him were too much to handle for him at the moment; the worry for Carter, the sorrow for George, the fear of Brawley exposing his secret, and his infatuation for the man standing in front of him.

Jout slumped down on the stool Kinch sat earlier and put his head in his hands. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to snap at you"

Newkirk placed his hand again on the younger man's shoulder. "Nothin' to worry about. What's goin' on?"

"Bad feeling about the mission," said Jout, looking up from his hands.

"I didn't believe it when Kinch said it…" Newkirk sat down on, across from Jout. "…and I don't believe it now. What is the real reason yer upset?"

Jout glanced in Newkirk's piercing green eyes, and saw the Brit's determination reflecting in his eyes to get him to talk.

He sighed, knowing he could not hide his feelings from Newkirk. "It's Carter," he finally answered.

" 'e is an excellent demolitions man. Clumsy, but great," Newkirk joked. "Ya don't 'ave to worry about Carter; the gov'nor's with 'im"

"I know that Carter is excellent at what he does!" he exclaimed. "It's just…that he…I mean, I…"

"What is it, Jout? I 'ope ya know ya can trust me"

Jout put his head in his hands again. "What if he gets hurt?" he spurted out.

Now Newkirk was confused. "First of all, I'm certain 'e will be fine. Second, there is always a risk when one of us goes out, but today is no different than any other mission. So why are ya beatin' yerself up over this?"

"Don't you get it?" Jout looked up. "If something happens to him today, it happens to HIM!"

Suddenly, light dawned on Newkirk. "Ah, so 'at's what this is all about? Carter replacin' ya?"

"I was supposed to be out with Rob, not him. And only because of my injuries, Rob decided to take Carter with him instead"

"But it's not yer fault," Newkirk tried to comfort him. "It was this Brawley guy and 'is friends 'at beat ya up; it's not like ya 'ave asked for it"

"But if I hadn't –," Jout bit on his tongue before saying anything further.

Newkirk raised an eyebrow. "If ya 'ad not what?"

"Oh…nothing," Jout glanced away from the Brit.

Newkirk and the others knew that Jout was hiding something from them; after all, Jout said it himself that there were things he didn't want them to know. But now he sensed he might be able to get him to talk. "Jout, if there is somethin' troublin' ya, talk to me. It's always better to open up to someone than chokin' down yer feelings" Newkirk saw Jout struggling, and therefore reached over the table, placing his hand on his arm. "I know it's unpleasant. I don't like talkin' about me feelings either, but it really 'elps"

Jout glanced at Newkirk's hand on his arm, then at Newkirk's now warm greyish-green eyes. Without thinking, he blurted out, "If I hadn't been such a fool, thinking I could help those men, this would have never happened" Unknown to Newkirk, Jout not only referred to the fight, but meant something totally different.

Glad that he had succeeded in Jout opening up to him, Newkirk softly asked, "Which men?"

Jout sighed. Now he did exactly what he never intended to do; tell one of his friends something about his time at the Eagle Squadron. But he assumed since he had already started, Newkirk would not give up in hearing more of the story. And then, another thought came to Jout. When he would tell him about his attempt to protect the enlisted men, maybe Newkirk would tell the others and they would stop nosing around in his past.

"The enlisted men in my squadron," he started. "After I found out about Brawley blackmailing them with his friends, I made a complaint to our CO. When he didn't do anything, I went higher; to General Gallagher"

"Don't mind me askin', but 'ow come ya know a general this well?"

Jout smiled. "Because of Colonel Fahlett, the first CO I ever had. He and at that time Colonel Gallagher were good friends, and when I was sixteen, Colonel Gallagher came for a visit. Colonel Fahlett introduced me to him because he was proud that he made a 'top-notch flying ace' out of me. It seemed that I had impressed him, because ever since his visit General Gallagher looked out for me" His smile faded as he continued. "But even he could not do anything about Brawley, because he was only a Major General, but Fanbrick's father a Lieutenant General. And since the Air Force didn't help the men, I decided I would, since I was a lieutenant and Brawley and his friends only sergeants"

"What did ya do?" Newkirk asked.

"I told the enlisted men to stop paying them half their money, and to come to me immediately when the three threatened them. I then made up some reason to give them KP duty, or guard duty, or any additional duty. Boy, you can't imagine how furious they were. However, they couldn't do anything against it, because Fanbrick's father decided he would not question my reasons," Jout explained.

"And 'at's why they beat ya up? Because ya tried to stop them?"

Jout averted his gaze and nodded. "There were still occasionally some men whom they succeeded in blackmailing or bashing, but I prevented most of it. And if I had not done that, Carter would not be out there as my replacement"

"Listen to me, Jout," Newkirk said. He waited for the American to look him in the eyes, and then continued. "Nothin' is goin' to 'appen to Carter, and ya did absolutely nothin' wrong. Ya were actin' like an officer, tryin' to protect 'is men. And though ya knew there would be no punishment for them because of Fanbrick's father, ya still tried to stop them. I wish there would be more officers like ya" Newkirk smiled. "Ya know, I only trust two officers; ya and the gov'nor"

"Is this a good or a bad sign?" Jout joked.

"Probably a bad sign" Newkirk stood up. "Let's go upstairs. LeBeau made Crêpe Suzette, one of the few things I actually like"


	18. Chapter 18

_The next day…_

Jout stood in line next to Carter during roll call. To his relief, his brother and the demolitions expert were able to blow up the ammo dump and return to camp without an incident. They came back about half an hour after his talk with Newkirk. His eyes landed on the Brit standing in the first row between Hogan and LeBeau. Subconsciously, he looked him over, stopping at his backside and his eyes lingered there for a while. Then Jout quickly shifted his glance to the ground and sighed inwardly. His plan to stay away from Newkirk to prove to himself that his infatuation was only an imagination had failed; in fact, his feelings have grown even stronger in the last two days. And it didn't help Jout that is seemed like Newkirk tried to be closer to him since the breathing incident. Or maybe his infatuated mind was only imagining something, and he only had the feeling like Newkirk cared more for him because he wanted him to.

While Klink continued to babble about the "victorious Third Reich", Jout looked up from the ground and at Newkirk again. He had to admit it to himself; he was in love with Newkirk. Only for Henri he had felt this kind of affection, which resulted in them planning to get married. But he knew his affection was doomed to stay unrequited, and even if not, he would never act on it. After Henri's death Jout had sworn to never again get involved with another serviceman; especially in wartime. There was simply a much too high risk for getting your heart torn out and smashed if you are involved with a soldier. And he could not go through this pain ever again. Jout looked down again and drove with his feet over the ground as he made a momentous decision regarding his future love life. There would be none. Considering everything, what had love ever given to him? A feeling of being an outcast, insults, pain, and death. The situation with Brawley was evident for all four of them. They treat him like a deviant just because he is attracted to the same gender. And now they blackmail him because of that, which could end in his death; even though they are all Allied soldiers and should be fighting together against the enemy, not against each other. Jout shook his head slightly. How could Brawley, Fanbrick and Leach even wear an Allied uniform without feeling any kind of remorse? Claim that they fight against the inhumane Nazis, and are not much better either. Both discriminate people because of futile reasons; one because of religion and ethnicity, and the others because of sexual preference. Unfortunately, Brawley and his friends are not the only ones in the Allied forces who claim to be the better people though they are basically the same. And just when it seemed that love turned to the better with Henri in his life, this stupid war takes him away from him, and yet again he is in pain because of love. Yes, it would be much better if he never gets involved in another relationship ever again. He would just stay in the Air Force for the rest of his life, work his way up until he is a general, and then someday retire. He didn't need anyone in his life; he would be happy with his plane. After all, the Air Force took him in when no one else wanted him. It gave him a home, and a place where he felt safe. And with Colonel Fahlett he had for the first time in his life a real father figure. When he had made mistakes in the beginning of his military career, Colonel Fahlett helped him to do it better next time; he didn't scream and beat him like his father used to do. And when he did something right, the Colonel praised him, making him feel proud of himself for the first time in his life. He was happy before he had met Henri, and he would be happy after the war.

Jout looked up from the ground again, back at Newkirk. Now that he admitted to himself that he had feelings for the Brit, he had to think of how to act around him for the rest of the time they were held captive. Jout knew as long as he was around Newkirk, his feelings would not go away. His only option was to ignore them. How hard could it be? After the war, they would all go separated ways, Newkirk back to England and Jout back to the US, and he would never see him again. He simply had to be professional around him, and everything would turn out fine.

He was taken out of his thoughts when Jout felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his face, and saw that the hand belonged to Carter. "Are you fine, buddy?" he asked. "Roll call's over"

Jout realized that indeed the formation was broken off by all the prisoners heading back into the barracks. He also realized that his friends were eyeing him with concerned looks.

He smiled. "I'm fine Andrew, thanks for asking. Just didn't listen to Klink's talk"

"Can't blame you," said Kinch. "You did not miss anything interesting. It was the usual babble"

The group walked inside the barracks chatting, and Jout sat down at the common table. While Carter settled himself next to him, LeBeau went over to the stove to prepare breakfast and Newkirk stepped on the bottom bunk next to the door to retrieve the cigarettes he got from Jout. Like every morning before breakfast, Kinch made his way into the tunnel to check on the radio.

Hogan walked to his office, but stopped in front of the door and turned around. "Josh, don't forget that your bandage needs to be re-applied"

"Didn't forget it. But Wilson said someone in the barracks can do it, so I don't have to see him" He looked at LeBeau. "LeBeau, could you do it? You were with me when Wilson applied the bandage"

"Sure, _mon ami_ "

Suddenly, someone knocked on the door, and Wilson entered the barracks.

"Sergeant Wilson," greeted Hogan. "What can I do for you?"

Wilson set down his bag. "I only wanted to check on Lieutenant Hogan, Sir"

"I thought you said I don't have to see you for re-applying the bandage," Jout said.

"That's true, but since you had troubles breathing I wanted to make sure I have not overlooked something important," Wilson answered. "Should I check you over here, or do you want to go to my office, Sir?"

"Staying here is fine with. That is, if the others don't feel bothered" Jout looked at the other occupants.

"Well, I'm not bothered," said Carter.

"Me neither," answered LeBeau and Newkirk.

The other men in the barracks shook their head, indicating that they had no problem with it either.

"All right!" exclaimed Wilson. "I need you to remove your shirt and undershirt," he instructed while Carter stood up from his stool to make room for the medic.

Jout did as told, laying his clothes on the table next to him. His friends and brother watched him while he did that.

"Can you raise your arms?" asked Wilson. Jout raised them over his head without feeling the slightest pain, and Wilson said, "Well, there's already an improvement in your mobility. That's good"

Wilson proceeded his examination, and started to remove the bandage covering Jout's chest. He revealed colourful marks on his chest, right above the ribs that were broken.

Carter gasped at the sight. "My God, Jout. This really does not look good!"

Jout glanced down at the marks and shrugged. "Then you should have seen those blue marks covering my chest after the fight" He then looked up at LeBeau. "Don't you agree with me, LeBeau?"

The Frenchman nodded. " _Qui_ , Jout. That were really some nasty marks"

Newkirk watched the whole process in silence. He leaned against his bunk bed, smoking a cigarette with his eyes glued to Jout's chest. Somehow, even with those marks, he found himself attracted to the American's physical appearance for the first time. It frightened Newkirk. Sure, he knew he was in love with him. And he would lie if he said Jout's looks had nothing to do with him falling for him. But that was only his face, and maybe a hint of his build underneath the uniform. He had never seen him naked before; not even in the showers, because he never looked at his comrades in there. It was Jout's eyes that first attracted Newkirk to him. Sure, he had the same chocolate brown eyes as his brother, but there was something about Jout's that had caught his attention. He could not describe what it was; he only knew he loved to gaze into those brown eyes. But now his feelings for Jout were on a whole new level. And Newkirk had to admit it; he liked what he saw. Jout had a fairly muscular figure with a slight six-pack, and not a single hair on his chest. Newkirk figured his athletic build resulted from all the toning exercises Jout made during the day. Every day he was in the prisoner's gym for at least an hour; together with Embrey and Ashton from barracks 5. And this training certainly paid off.

"Don't worry, Carter," said Wilson. "Those bruises are totally normal for broken ribs. In fact, it's great they have already changed colour" He started to put slight pressure onto the bruises, which resulted in Jout inhaling sharply. Wilson palpated the whole chest and announced, "I can't find anything wrong with the healing process. But I would like to listen to your lung, just to make sure"

He searched in his medical bag for the stethoscope, and then positioned himself behind Jout. "Lieutenant, I want you to take deep breaths. As deep as you can" Jout did as told and Wilson started listening. He placed the stethoscope on different points on his back, but suddenly he stopped and held it in one place, frowning. "Say, Lieutenant, do you happen to feel warm?"

"Of course I do!" answered Jout. "It's August, and at least 86 degrees outside. Who is not sweating?"

"What is it, Wilson?" interrupted Hogan.

Wilson took the stethoscope out of his ears and faced the Colonel. "Unfortunately, it's just like I thought. The Lieutenant begins to develop pneumonia. I can hear a soft rustle when he breathes, and the fact he is warm only contributes to my diagnosis"

"And what does that mean?" This time, it was Jout who asked.

"It means we have to stop the pneumonia from developing any further, because I'm not sure I can treat a fully developed pneumonia with the few supplies I have," Wilson explained.

Hogan moved to the table. "What do you need?"

"Antibiotics. And fast"

"You will get them. Kinch will radio London and arrange a drop tonight," Hogan said.

"That's good. We might be able to prevent further development" Wilson started to re-apply the bandage. "And I want you, Lieutenant, to stay in the barracks today. The warm weather outside will only contribute to a faster development"

Jout nodded. "Sure, no problem"

At that moment, the tunnel entrance opened, and Kinch stepped into the barracks, holding a small blue piece of paper. "Colonel, I just received a message from the underground. Three prisoners escaped from Stalag 9, and the underground wants us to pick them up at rendezvous point Y14 tonight at 2400 hours to bring them back to England"

"Confirm the meeting, Kinch. And then send a message to London, asking for a drop of antibiotics tonight at the same time," Hogan ordered.

"Will do, Colonel. But London will want to know why"

"It's for Josh. We need it to prevent him from getting pneumonia," explained Hogan.

"Gov'nor, 'ow do ya suppose we pick up three escaped prisoners AND antibiotics at the same time?" Newkirk asked.

"Easy, Newkirk. Kinch and LeBeau go out and get the three men, and Carter and you go out to get the antibiotics"

By now, Jout was fully dressed again, and Wilson packed up his medical bag. "And don't forget, Lieutenant. You are restricted to the barracks for the day" Wilson turned his attention to Hogan. "Colonel, make sure he stays inside. If he is anything like the rest of your men, he will be stubborn enough to risk his health"

The men began to protest, and Wilson quickly made his way to the door. He left the barracks and while his men were still upset about the medic's statement, Hogan slowly walked back into his office, smiling.

* * *

Jout listened to Wilson and stayed the whole day inside. Around midday, he decided to join Carter in his lab, because it was always fascinating for him to watch the usual clumsy demolitions expert to act utterly professional around explosives. He often sat in Carter's lab, and the two young Americans talked about their homes while Carter showed him now and then how to make certain explosives. Besides, it was much colder in the lab, and Jout figured it would help his condition. The other reason was that with being in Carter's lab, he was able to avoid Newkirk. The Brit didn't like to be near explosives while they were made, probably because Carter made them. Newkirk trusted him with his life, and thought of Carter as an excellent demolitions man, but still, it was Carter who made them.

Now Jout sat next to Carter, who was in the middle of making explosive charges. "How are things with Mary Jane?" [1]

Carter started smiling. "Great. She still loves me and in her last letter she wrote she can't wait to marry me"

"That's great, pal. I'm happy for you"

"Since we're talking about Mary Jane," Carter said. "I'd like you to be my best man at the wedding"

Jout's eyes grew wide. "Are you serious?"

Carter looked up from the beaker in his hands. "Sure I am. You're my best buddy"

"But what about Newkirk. Isn't he your best friend too?"

"He is" Carter looked back at the beaker. "And I really would like you two to be my best men, but there is a chance he can't come because he will go back to England. If that happens, I have at least you"

"But you will ask him? I'm certain he will do everything in his power to attend his best mates wedding," Jout said.

"I will"

* * *

The rest of the day went by fast, and soon Jout found himself in the radio room with his brother, waiting for his friends to return. He didn't like that he was again the reason for two of his friends to be outside, and he hoped everything would go well. Jout also hoped that his brother would leave him alone, and don't ask him any questions about Brawley.

"So, Josh," Hogan started. "Are you feeling fine? Any afflictions?"

"No, I'm right as rain, Rob. Just a little chest pain"

Hogan nodded. "That's good"

Jout could sense there was more Hogan wanted to say, but suddenly, they heard voices coming from the tunnel exit. Seconds later, Kinch and LeBeau came into view.

Before they were able to report to Hogan, Jout spotted one of the three escaped prisoners, and he could not believe his eyes. "MacQuoid? Is that you?"

The addressed man came closer and saluted. "It is, Sir. Great to see you again" He then held his hand out.

Jout shook it, and then the second man, Sallow joined the group. "Sir, you can't believe how happy we were when we heard you were a prisoner here. We thought we would only maybe see each other again after the war"

"This is your old crew, Josh?" interrupted Hogan the reunion. By now, everyone was gathered around the radio table. Hogan spotted Newkirk and Carter, and asked, "Have you guys got the antibiotics?"

Newkirk held up a small package. "Right 'ere, Gov'nor"

Hogan ordered him to give the package to Jout, so that he could take the antibiotics. That's when MacQuoid noticed the cast on Jout's wrist. "What happened to you, Sir?"

"An argument with old comrades," Jout answered. "Nothing to worry about"

Suddenly, Relish stepped forward and exclaimed, "I'm a father, Sir!"

"No way!" Jout said. "I didn't even know that Alice was pregnant"

"She wrote it in the first letter I've got after we got captured," Relish explained, grinning like a fool.

"Wait, yer a father? Just 'ow ol' are ya?" Newkirk asked. It seemed like the others were also curious.

Relish smiled sheepishly. "I'm nineteen"

"Nineteen?" Carter called out. "You're one year younger than me, and already married?"

"Yes, she was my high school sweetheart, and we married the day before I left for the Air Force. That was about 9 months ago," he explained. Relish turned his attention back to Jout. "And you know what the best thing is, Sir? She moved to her uncle in England, near our base. That means I can see her and our son on a regular basis, once I'm back in England"

"I'm happy for you, Relish," Jout smiled. "What is his name?"

"We decided to name him after you and Alice's father, Sir. His name is Joshua David Relish"

All eyes landed on Jout, who was at first too stunned to speak. After a few moments, he regained his composure and said, "I..I don't know what to say, Relish. I'm absolutely honoured"

"Would you like to see a picture, Sir?" Relish asked, his eyes glancing hopefully at him.

"Of course! I have to see the little guy to whom I'm the name giver"

The guys huddled around Relish, who retrieved a picture from his inside pockets. It showed a small baby, wrapped in a blanket. It was held by someone, but you could not identify who it was, because the person's face was not in the picture. The boy had dark hair, and he made a content face.

"He looks beautiful, Relish," Jout said at the sight of the boy.

"Jout's right," agreed LeBeau. "Your son is _magnifique_!"

"Thank you. I can't wait to finally see him," Relish said, his voice full of pride.

"I hate to spoil the party," Hogan spoke up. "But roll call's in 4 hours, and we have to get some shut-eye. Tomorrow is a busy day"

While the four men who were outside were changing into their pyjamas, Jout showed his former crew where to sleep. "We can't offer you more than the ground, but don't worry guys. Tomorrow night you are already on your way to England"

"Why don't you come with us, Sir?" asked Sallow. "Then we could fly missions together like in old times, and show those Krauts that they can't cut _Golden Eagle's_ wings"

Jout smiled at the usage of his old nickname. "That's a nice prospect for sure, but I have a new duty to fulfil. Help Allied flyers to get back to England and sabotage the German war effort whenever possible. I am needed here. But I want you guys to put them in their place. Understood?"

"Understood, Sir!" exclaimed his old crew in unison.

They saluted and Jout left the tunnel to get at least some sleep and rest.

* * *

 **[1] – I know Carter received a "Dear John" letter from Mary Jane in the show (Season 1, Episode 32 "Request Permission To Escape"). But I decided to have Mary Jane staying with Carter; first, for this dialogue between him and Jout, and second, for future references. I hope you guys don't mind :)**


	19. Chapter 19

The next day was busy for the men from barracks 2. A submarine near the German coast would leave for Dover in the night, and that only left one day to endow Jout's former crew the necessary clothes and papers. Normally they had three to four days, but Hogan didn't want to wait for the next submarine; he had received a message from an Underground agent informing him that the Gestapo was already searching for the three escaped prisoners. Therefore, he needed to get them out of Germany this very night, for the sake of the operation. The men were currently down in the tunnel, either forging identification papers or helping to tailor civilian suits, while listening to old stories from Jout's crew about the most spectacular bombing missions.

"And then Lieutenant Sharpe called out and said over the radio that his plane's been hit, and that he and his crew were getting ready to bail out," explained MacQuoid. "And what did Lieutenant Hogan do? He ordered them to bail out over a clearing he saw about one mile north, while he started the landing approach. I asked him what he was doing, and his response was, 'Picking them up'. We landed on the clearing in the middle of Germany, helped Lieutenant Sharpe and his crew into the plane while Lieutenant Hogan was already picking up pace for the take-off"

Sallow cut in, "Yeah, you guys should have been there! We were about five feet above the ground when Relish and I pulled Lieutenant Sharpe in at last. And all the while we were under heavy fire because a German patrol noticed our little stunt"

Relish started to laugh. "What a sight! Lieutenant Sharpe was hanging halfway in the plane, and halfway out. And while we're pulling him in, I hear him yelping, because he got shot in the ass. You can believe me; I had a hard time stopping myself from laughing"

Jout sat with the men as his old crew told his new friends about the probably most insane flight manoeuvre he had ever pulled off. He had to smile during the explanation at the mental image forming in his mind, but this whole situation was rather embarrassing to him. He didn't like it when others praised him for something that he considered as simply doing his duty. However, he saw the excitement the story brought to both the tellers and the listeners. So Jout decided to play along and didn't stop them from bragging with this mission.

"Wait," Hogan interrupted. "You guys mean this stunt actually happened? This wasn't a made-up story from the Allied propaganda machine?" He then directed his next question at his younger brother. "You really landed behind enemy lines to pick up downed flyers?" The others looked at Jout too, with sheer disbelief in their eyes.

Jout chuckled while he calmly took a sip from his cup. "Sharpe owed me 50 pounds! If he had been captured, I would have never gotten my money back"

"You did all that for 50 pounds?!" exclaimed Carter. "What did your CO say?"

Jout shrugged. "Colonel Lindh? Well, he wasn't all that happy about it, but since I prevented four men getting captured by the Krauts, he dropped the subject"

"And honoured him with the Air Medal," commented Sallow.

* * *

Hogan wandered through the tunnels, hoping to catch one of the escaped prisoners alone. Ever since he found out that they were Jout's former crew, he wanted to pump one of them for information concerning Jout's past. And he figured he would most likely be successful if he talked to MacQuoid in private. It seemed like out of the three, he was the closest to Jout, given MacQuoid was his co-pilot. Hogan entered the clothing section and witnessed how Newkirk adjusted MacQuoid's suit.

"Are the three suits ready?" asked Hogan in his usual commanding tone.

Newkirk tugged MacQuoid's sleeves to check on how it fitted, and answered, "Yes, Sir. Everythin' is set"

"Good" Hogan thought for a moment on how to get Newkirk to leave without being too obvious. "Newkirk, go and help Carter with the identification papers"

The Brit turned around, a bit surprised. But he sensed that Hogan didn't want him around, and he decided it was best to not argue with his commanding officer. "Sure, gov'nor"

Hogan waited till Newkirk was out of earshot, and then turned his attention back to MacQuoid. "Say, how are you feeling, Sergeant? I assume you can't wait to get back to England?"

MacQuoid took his jacket off. "You're right, Sir. The last four months in that stinking POW camp were just awful"

"I can very well imagine that," said Hogan. "I'm curious, Sergeant. When did you join Josh's crew? It seems you get along with him rather well"

"Right after Lieutenant Hogan got transferred to the squadron; in August 1942. I was already with the outfit, and I right away became the Lieutenant's co-pilot"

"So out of Relish, Sallow, and you, Sergeant, you know him the best?" asked Hogan further. By now he leaned against a supporting beam.

"I think so" MacQuoid eyed him, puzzled by the Colonel's questions. "But I suppose, I don't know him as good as you do, Sir"

"Sure" Hogan tried to think of a way to put his next questions without arising suspicion. "Did he ever say something about his former squadron?"

MacQuoid shook his head. "I'm afraid, I can't help you with that topic, Sir. The Lieutenant never talked about his time before his transfer"

Hogan's shoulders sagged, disappointed by yet another source turning into a dead end. "Never? Not one word?"

Now MacQuoid was getting suspicious. "Why are you asking me, Sir? With all due respect, the Lieutenant is your brother. Why don't you ask him?"

"Never mind, Sergeant. Let's just keep this conversation between us, alright?" Hogan turned to leave, but stopped in his tracks. "Oh, and Sergeant? That's an order"

* * *

 _The next day…_

Jout yawned and rubbed his eyes during morning roll call. He had waited all night with Kinch in the radio room for a message from London, telling them that his former crew safely arrived England's coast. And they only received the message about twenty minutes before roll call, which took a load off his mind. He really cared for them, as if they were his brothers, and he was relieved to know them back in England.

Just as Klink came out of his office, yelling for Schultz to report, a car drove through the gate and stopped in front of Klink's office. Out got Major Hochstetter, who went to Klink and talked with him.

"Blimey, 'ochstetter!" exclaimed Newkirk.

"Yeah, and from the way Klink looks, he's not all too happy about him too," Carter said.

"Klink's never happy when the Gestapo arrives," remarked Hogan. Then he whispered, "I'm sure glad we already got MacQuoid, Sallow, and Relish safely back to England"

"Me too, Rob," stated Jout.

Klink came closer to the formation with the riding crop under his arm, and announced, "Lieutenant Hogan, my office. Now!"

Jout gulped and immediately tensed up. The Gestapo wanting to talk to him? That spelled trouble.

He looked at his brother, who took a step forward. "Kommandant, I demand to be present when you talk to Lieutenant Hogan"

Major Hochstetter made his way over to Klink. "I don't care about what you demand! Lieutenant Hogan will come with us; alone"

"Don't worry, Rob," Jout said, which made the others glancing at him. "It's just a little talk. I'll be fine"

Jout walked past Newkirk, accidently brushing his arm against his. This resulted in a tingling sensation spreading in his stomach, and he made the mistake of looking up. He was greeted by Newkirk looking at him too, and for a split second Jout thought he saw Newkirk's eyes sparkling. But the Cockney quickly turned his head to the ground, and Jout discarded the thought again. He had more important things to deal with now than his feelings for Newkirk. Namely, a certain Gestapo major. While Jout walked into Klink's office, the other hurried into Hogan's to listen in, because Gestapo always meant problems.

Jout entered the office and was greeted by Hochstetter pointing at the stool in front of Klink's desk. "Sit down, Lieutenant" Hochstetter walked behind the desk and stood next to Klink. "What happened to your face?"

"A little dispute with another prisoner. Nothing serious, Major"

Hochstetter scratched his eyebrow. "Good. We don't want the Allied's most efficient bomber pilot to get hurt"

"Why am I here, Major? You certainly didn't come to talk with me about my health," Jout answered impatiently. He wanted this whole conversation to be over as soon as possible.

"You're right with that, Lieutenant" Hochstetter leant down on the table. "You wouldn't have heard about the escape that happened in Stalag 9 two days ago?"

* * *

"He's talking about Jout's former crew, Colonel!" exclaimed Carter. "Do you think he knows about our operation?"

Hogan shook his head. "I don't think so. If Hochstetter knew about our little set-up, we would already be on our way to a firing squad"

"Yeah, but why is he asking Jout?" questioned Kinch.

"Just be patient. Hochstetter will tell us soon enough!" With that, everyone was silent again, waiting keyed up for the Gestapo major to continue.

* * *

"Of course I have heard about the escape, Major; one of the guards told us," Jout answered.

Hochstetter angrily looked at Klink. "Klink! Don't you have your guards under control? Fraternising with the enemy!"

Klink immediately changed into defensive mood. "Well, Major, I can assure you –"

"Major, the Kommandant ordered them to do so," Jout started to spin one of his own tales, like his brother always did. "He wants to punish us even further by pointing out other prisoners' succees in getting out of other camps, and that our strive for freedom will never come true, because he is the toughest Kommandant in all of Germany. He's so cruel!"

"Is that true?" asked Hochstetter, directed at Klink.

"Most definitely. I want to destroy their moral," said a smug Klink.

* * *

Newkirk laughed. "Well, gov'nor, he's just as cocky as you are in handling the Krauts"

LeBeau agreed, " _Oui, mon Colonel_. It seems the ability to fool the boche runs in your family"

Hogan didn't answer, but started smiling, taking a pride in his brother's actions.

* * *

Hochstetter turned his attention back to Jout. "Anyways, Lieutenant, did the guards mention the names of the escapees?"

Jout leaned back in his stool. "No, they didn't"

"Well, perhaps the names are familiar to you," Hochstetter stated. "Staff Sergeant Stanley MacQuoid, Senior Airman Ralph Sallow and Airman Daniel Relish"

Jout made a surprised face. "Really, Major?" Then he gave Hochstetter a bold grin. "Then I must thank you, Major Hochstetter. You just made my day"

"Don't thank me too soon, Lieutenant," Hochstetter said with an equally gloating smile on his face. "I haven't told you why I'm here yet"

"I'm all ears," answered Jout bored.

"Berlin is not pleased about this escape, and they ordered me to find the prisoners. And I have a feeling you know where they are"

"And I think you're feeling is betraying you, Major," said Jout, faking to be shocked. "How should I know where they are? I'm just an ordinary prisoner in the toughest POW camp in all of Germany"

Hochstetter laughed. "I'm not stupid, Lieutenant. This camp is anything but ordinary. There were more acts of sabotage in this area then in the whole Third Reich. And this camp is right in the middle of it"

"Think what you want, but I can't help you, Major. I don't know anything about the whereabouts of the prisoners" Jout stood up. "May I go now? I'm late for breakfast"

Hochstetter walked in front of Klink's desk. "Sit down, Lieutenant. We're not done yet"

Jout reluctantly sat down again and waited for the Gestapo major to continue.

"To make you really understand my next statement, Lieutenant, I want you to know we have several excellent spies in London"

"I'm happy for you," Jout answered.

"Oh, I'm sure you won't be all that happy it in a moment or two" Hochstetter crossed his arms in front of him. "Don't you think it would be a shame if something happened to your son, Lieutenant?"

* * *

" _Fils_!" exclaimed LeBeau. "Jout has a child?"

"He never told me about having a son," said Hogan. He then looked at Carter. "Did he say anything to you, Carter? You're one of his closest friends"

A befuddled Carter shook his head. He still tried to digest that his best friend had a son, and never said a word about it to him. "No, Colonel. He never said anything about a wife or a son back home. He doesn't wear a wedding ring either"

Hogan scratched his head. Apparently, there was a great deal more that Jout hid from them than he thought there would be. Right next to him stood Newkirk, who somehow felt a sudden sadness rising in him at the thought of Jout having a son. He might be succeeding in betraying his mind when he persuaded himself into believing that his fantasies about having a future with the American were only fantasies, and nothing he would want to put into practise, but Newkirk couldn't betray his heart. Deep down inside him, he knew he wanted nothing more than to be with Jout, and somehow, he was holding onto incidents that sparked in him the thought that there might be a small chance. Like when Jout walked past him and their arms touched. Newkirk had for a moment the feeling that there was maybe more to the touch to Jout, the way the American looked at him. But now, knowing that Jout had a son, all his hoped for a non-existent future together were destroyed.

* * *

"And don't try to deny it, Lieutenant" Hochstetter continued. "I have read your letters"

Unimpressed by Hochstetter's threat, Jout kept a straight face and calmly said, "Major, don't beat around the bush. Just say it out loud"

"Alright, Lieutenant. Either you tell me where the three escaped prisoners are, or one of our spies will pay your family a visit, which will end badly for your son"

* * *

"Blimey, gov'nor! 'ochstetter's gone mad" Newkirk was raging. " 'e's threatin' to 'urt an innocent child! 'at bastard"

Kinch chipped in. "Yeah, Newkirk's right. Hochstetter is playing dirty. Threatening Jout he will order to hurt his son so that he drops a dime on us"

They all started to talk across each other, which prevented Hogan from further listening to the coffee pot. Therefore, he raised his voice. "Hold it! Hold it! Don't worry, Josh won't give us in"

"But Hochstetter is going after his son," LeBeau piped up. "This would be reason enough for many men to betray their friends"

"Just have faith in Josh," Hogan said. He tried to appear calm in order to soothe his men, but inwardly he was all tensed up.

* * *

Jout stood up again. "If there's nothing else you want to talk about, Major, I'd like to go back to my barracks"

"Are you sure, Lieutenant?" Hochstetter tried to get him to talk. "If you are leaving this room, you put your son's life at risk. Now what kind of father would do that?"

"It was nice talking to you, Major Hochstetter," Jout said. "But frankly, I can do without a repetition"

He saluted quickly, and then left Klink's office. Jout took a deep breath while he hurried back to the barracks. It had taken him all his strength not to beat the crap out of Hochstetter, and it was not easy for him. When he told him he would hurt Tommy, Jout liked nothing more than to erase that smug grin on Hochstetter's face, but he knew it would not have helped the situation. So, he made his way back to his barracks to get in touch with General Gallagher to let him put _Operation Safehouse_ in place. Now Jout was immensely glad General Gallagher had once suggested this emergency plan. Jout opened the door and slammed it shut behind him. His friends came out of Hogan's office, their expressions ranging from confused, to angry, to compassionate.

"I'm going to kill him," stated Jout while walking towards the hidden tunnel entrance. "If something happens to Tommy, I will kill Hochstetter with my bare hands"

He hit the frame fiercely and waited for the lower bed to reveal the tunnel entrance.

"You never told us you have a son," said Hogan, and went with the others to the tunnel entrance too.

"He's not my son," answered Jout, climbing down the ladder.

Hogan looked at his men, confusion spread all over their faces. They followed Jout to the radio room and heard him talking over the radio. Shortly after Jout joined the sabotage group, Kinch had showed him how to handle it so that Jout could take his place sometimes during the night or when Kinch was on an outside mission.

"Golden Eagle to Mama Bear, Golden Eagle calling Mama Bear," Jout said over the radio.

" _What is it, Golden Eagle?"_ answered a voice with a British accent.

As the men gathered around Jout, he said, "I need to speak with General Gallagher, immediately. Tell him it's an emergency"

" _Will do, Golden Eagle. Just wait a minute"_ General Gallagher had ordered to put any calls from Jout straight through to him, and therefore, he didn't need to explain to London why he wanted to talk with the General.

While they waited for General Gallagher, Hogan used the time to ask his brother further questions. "What do you mean he is not your son? Hochstetter said he knew it from your letters"

Jout sighed and drove with his right hand over his forehead. "Tommy calls me 'Da', and he is indeed like a son to me, but I'm not his father" Still greeted with confused looks, Jout, added, "It's a long story, which I'll tell you guys later, but now I have to make sure that this Gestapo bastard won't harm him"

Right on cue, they heard General Gallagher's voice over the radio. _"General Gallagher speaking. What is the emergency, Golden Eagle?"_

Jout turned his attention back to the radio. "Sir, you have to start _Operation Safehouse"_

" _Are you sure? What happened?"_

"Major Hochstetter from the Gestapo just came through the camp and we had a little talk. Then he threatened to hurt them. I'm not sure whether he is really going to go after them, but I don't want to risk anything, General," explained Jout.

" _I understand, Golden Eagle. Operation Safehouse will start right now. You will hear from me at 1800 hours,"_ the General announced.

Jout sighed in relief. "Thank you, General"

He cut the connection to London and removed the headset he was wearing. Then Jout looked at his brother, who merely said, "And now I want to know the whole story"


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: There will be some slash at the end of the chapter (it's my first time writing slash, so please don't be too harsh). If you're not a fan of it, I tagged it with bold H's. Just skip it and read on.**

* * *

They settled around the common table and LeBeau poured them all cups of tea and coffee. Jout sat next to Newkirk and on his right side, at the head of the table, sat Hogan.

As Jout received his cup of tea, Hogan asked, "So, who is Tommy? I presume Hochstetter thinks he is your son?"

"That's right" Jout nodded. "Tommy is five years old and the son of my good friend Ann Chadwick. I've met her shortly after I came to England; I think it was around June 1941. Some of my comrades dragged me into a pub near our base one day to celebrate a good round of shot down German planes. Ann was a waitress there and since I wasn't in the mood to celebrate with the guys, I stuck to the bar. After I think my fifth beer we got talking to each other. That's when she told me she needed to work because her husband Thomas had died during the Battle of France"

" 'at's when I got captured!" chipped Newkirk in.

"Filthy _boches_! Attacking my beautiful France," said a sentimental LeBeau.

"How come your close to them?" asked Hogan, trying to change the subject.

"Well," Jout sipped from his cup. "We continued our conversation, and she told me she was worried about her son. When I asked what was wrong, she explained that since his father's death, Tommy stopped talking. No matter what she did, he just wouldn't speak. I felt sympathy with him because I also lost a parent at a young age" Jout shot a glance at Hogan and saw a hint of sadness in his brother's eyes at the mention of their dead mother. He quickly looked away and continued. "I offered to talk to Tommy on my next free weekend, you know, sharing my own experiences. Though he was three years younger than me when he lost his parent, I figured his feelings couldn't be all too different from mine"

"Yeah, I still remember the day my parents told me my grandfather had died," interrupted Carter sorrowful. "I shut myself away from everyone and hid in my room for weeks. I was real close to him and therefore his death hurt all the more. But then my cousin Bobby showed me a way to cope"

"That were my intentions too," Jout said. "Anyways, I went to her flat on my next free weekend; Ann lives in the town close to my former base. When I first met Tommy, he played quietly with his miniature planes. I introduced myself and tried to start a conversation though he wouldn't talk to me. I really tried everything I could think of; starting from the weather, to sports, to the planes he was playing with. They were replicas of Spitfires, and so I told him how I was in the Air Force and everything. And then, shortly before I was going to give up, Tommy turned to me and asked if I ever flew a Spitfire" Jout began to smile. "Can you guys believe it? Was mute for over a year, and that's the first thing he says. The rest of the afternoon I spent playing with him, and slowly but shortly I was able to gain his trust. Then I started telling him about my mother, and how I managed to cope with her death" He looked up from his mug. "You can believe me, he is the brightest three-year-old I had ever met. At first, I feared I might confuse him even more, but our little talk really seemed to help him. Boy, Ann was weeping for joy when she came home and found her son speaking again"

"And when did you began to consider him your son?" Hogan asked. He had watched his brother closely during his explanation, and the whole time he was beaming when he talked about Tommy. It was the same gleam all of Hogan's comrades had when they talked about their children back home.

"I can't pinpoint the exact moment," Jout answered. "Ever since that afternoon, I somehow became his surrogate father. I got attached to him, and began to spend every free weekend with them, doing things a father does with his son; going to the park and play soccer with him, and I taught him baseball because I'm unable to understand cricket," Jout said with a grin directed at Newkirk.

"Not even all of us understand 'at bloody sport properly," laughed Newkirk.

"No wonder!" exclaimed Carter. "It's completely confusing. I mean, why do you English have to complicate everything?"

"Now don't forget 'at **we** brought cricket to the colonies! 'at means cricket is older than baseball"

"Maybe, but we made it understandable for everyone," stated Carter.

"I think I'll step in and end this fight before it even starts," Jout interrupted. "Anyways, I showed him the base and some planes too. Tommy really loves everything dealing with aviation. Said he wants to join the RAF when he's grown up. I even send Ann half my pay to support her. One day, I was playing with him in his room when he called me 'Da'. He caught me completely off guard with that, because I never in a million years expected him to call me his father; Ann always made sure that Tommy knows who his father was and why he isn't with them anymore. But to this day, Tommy never stopped calling me 'Da'"

"And so Hochstetter thinks Tommy really is your son" Hogan put two and two together. "And because he wants to get you to talk, he now goes after him"

Jout nodded. "I think so too. That's why I asked General Gallagher to put _Operation Safehouse_ in action"

"What's 'at?" asked Newkirk.

He felt somehow relieved now that he knew that Jout didn't have a biological son. But at the same time, he feared that maybe Jout was only interested in Tommy's mother, and therefore took care of Tommy.

"The General himself came up with it; shortly after the Allied High Command approached me because they wanted to use my bombing rates as a way to boost moral among the people. Since I didn't have to do anything than just continue flying, I gave my okay and they started this whole _Golden Eagle_ thing. That's why General Gallagher suggested this emergency plan. He presumed something like that might happen if the Germans capture me and find out who I am. And in case London would notice that the Germans try to use Ann and Tommy to make me change sides, he created _Operation Safehouse_. Right now, he is on his way to Ann to get her and Tommy to some small village in the country side, because the chance of a German spy in a village apart from anything dealing with the war effort is smaller than if they are staying where they are now"

Hogan rubbed his temples. "Do you know what village?"

Jout shook his head. "No, only General Gallagher knows it" Then he looked down at the mug in his hands again. "I only hope the General gets them before Hochstetter's spy does. I would never forgive myself if something happens to them"

Hogan laid a hand on Jout's shoulder, accompanied with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, Josh. Everything is going to be fine"

Carter, always the one to lighten up the mood, asked, "Hey, Jout, do you have a picture of Tommy?"

"Of course I have one," Jout declared while grasping into his inner jacket pocket.

He retrieved a picture and laid it on the table; it showed a small blonde boy, smiling into the camera. He sat on the lap of a pretty woman, who had blonde hair too. "The picture is about nine months old," he said, grinning like a proud father who showed off his family.

Newkirk looked at the picture and felt a twinge to his heart; Ann really was a beautiful lady, and he realized that he might be right with his fear.

His thoughts were interrupted by LeBeau whistling and saying exactly what was on his mind. "My, what a beautiful lady!" Then he crooked a smile at Jout. "You really are a _veinard_!" [lucky fellow]

Understanding and speaking French as fluently as English and German, Jout knew what LeBeau said, but he was still confused. "Why do you think so?"

"Well, with her son thinking of you as his father, it should be easy for you to romance her"

Jout started to laugh. "Oh, you're wrong with that! Ann and I are just friends; no more, no less"

"Come on, Jout!" Kinch chipped in. "You want to tell us you never thought about getting involved with her? She really is a pretty lady"

"Never" Jout put the picture back in his pocket. "When I met her, she still wasn't over her husband's death, and that hasn't changed. We're just close friends"

While the group continued talking, a relieved Newkirk tried his best to suppress a smile, now that his dream world about the American he had built for himself and that he would escape to during long sleepless nights still existed.

* * *

 **HHHHHHH**

 _Newkirk lay on his top bunk, reading a letter from his sister Mavis for the fifteenth time. No one else was with him in the barracks, since the other prisoners decided to have a soccer match to make use of the pleasantly warm afternoon. He decided against joining the match, because he liked the prospect of having the barracks all to himself for a few hours and therefore the chance of some peace and quiet. But this quiet was disturbed when he heard the door open. Newkirk, still on his back, turned his head and saw Jout sitting on the common table, looking at him._

" _Can I 'elp ya? Why aren't ya with the others, playin' football?" Reminding himself that he was speaking to a Yank, he corrected himself, "Or 'ow ya blokes from the colonies call it, 'soccer'"_

 _Jout made his way over to Newkirk, stepping onto the lower bunk to be on eyelevel with the Brit. "Funny. I could ask you the same"_

" _As ya can see," Newkirk said while holding up the letter from his sister. "I'm readin' news from 'ome. And what is yer excuse?"_

" _This," Jout said, and gently pressed his soft lips on Newkirk's._

 _The Brit was completely taken by surprise by the tender assault from the American, but quickly regained his senses. He laid the letter aside and slightly turned on his right side to have a better position. Though he knew they shouldn't do what they were doing, because of the great risk of being caught, Newkirk couldn't stop himself. He wanted Jout; and he wanted him now. Newkirk tugged at Jout's shoulder, trying to pull him onto his bunk. Jout immediately reacted upon his invitation and climbed up. He straddled Newkirk and closed the distance between their mouths again; this time he ran his tongue across the other man's lips, prompting Newkirk to moan and open his mouth. It was invaded by Jout's tongue while Newkirk put his right hand behind the other man's head, pulling him nearer to him. He rested his left hand on the American's lower back and Jout responded to his touch by moving his tongue all around Newkirk's mouth. Then he backed away from him, by now laying on top of Newkirk. Jout propped himself up on his elbows and when he looked down at the man underneath him, he was greeted by passion filled eyes. He drove through Newkirk's black hair and planted soft kisses on his jaw, then his chin, moving down to his neck. Jout stayed there and while he kissed the sensitive skin, he opened his mouth and began to lick across a highly sensitive spot, which made Newkirk grunt in delight. Wanting to hear this guttural moan again, Jout pressed his lips in the crook of the Brit's neck and started to suck on it gently, paying attention to not leave a mark behind. He felt how Newkirk's grip on his head became limp, which he took as a sign that the other man liked what he was doing. Newkirk's skin against Jout's lips vibrated as another moan left his lips, making Jout leave his neck and moving up to his ear. He licked along the outside, only to leave it again to gnaw on Newkirk's earlobe. This was something he apparently liked very much, because Jout could feel how he writhed at his soft nibbling, groaning deep and long. Though his mind was clouded by an increasing desire for Jout, Newkirk found enough strength in his arms to place them on Jout's behind and started to knead it softly. This made Jout stop for a second as a throaty moan escaped his own lips._

" _I want ya," breathed Newkirk._

 _Jout's responded to his plea by pressing his lips onto Newkirk's again, his kiss full of passion. His hand found its way under the Brit's light blue sweater, pulling his undershirt out of his pants. Jout's fingers danced across his heated skin as he felt every muscle constrict at his touch._

 _Suddenly the door swung open and a "What the hell?" was heard._

 **HHHHHHH**

Newkirk shot up in his bunk, heavily breathing as if he just ran a 10-mile run. He looked around the room to see that it was still empty, which meant the others were still playing soccer. Newkirk laid back again and stared at the ceiling, letting the dream he just had sink in. He had a sex dream about Jout; well technically, it was more of a make-out dream, but if he had not woken up he was sure his fantasy would have developed into some steamy lovemaking. He looked down at his crotch and saw a bulge underneath his pants, which made him all the more glad that he was currently alone in the barracks. Of course it wouldn't be the first time that one of his fellow prisoners caught him with a swollen member after a nap; after all, he was in this camp for more than three years now. Three years without any kind of intimacy. Even though he was gay, he always tried to romance the female agents who came along; not just to maintain his role as a lady's man. For Newkirk, those women were the only chance to have some action, since it was too risky trying to get off with some prisoner, but every time they would choose the Colonel, and he was left out in the cold. Making sure that no one was near the door, Newkirk climbed down his bunk and opened the tunnel entrance to go to one of the offside tunnels they had to abandon and now used as storage space, to find some relief from his arousing dream.


	21. Chapter 21

_Four weeks later…_

Jout was walking around the compound, trying to clear his mind. Normally, he would have gone behind barracks 12 in search for privacy, leaning against the barracks wall and staring at the barbed wire fence. This was his favourite place in camp. Well, it was. Because ever since he admitted his feelings for Newkirk to himself, he had avoided this place like the plague. It was too high of a risk that Newkirk would be there too, and then he would have had to talk with him, alone. And that was something he didn't want to. Especially with the current development from the last weeks. Jout had noticed Newkirk's change in behaviour after he got the message from General Gallagher that Ann and Tommy were save. He was completely relieved upon hearing those great news, and LeBeau had opened some wine they had to celebrate. They sat around the common table, and that's when Jout noticed that Newkirk sat closer to him than usual. In fact, he sat so close that they're shoulders were touching. Apparently, no one else in the room noticed this closeness, but Jout was not blind. Ever since then, Jout observed Newkirk. And throughout the last four weeks, Jout discovered little hints that sparked something in him. Jout often caught Newkirk staring at him; sometimes from a close distance when they were in the barracks, and sometimes when they were in the compound. Often he would play volleyball or soccer, and Newkirk sat by the barracks playing gin or checkers. When he glanced in Newkirk's direction, he saw how the Brit was watching him; quickly looking away when he noticed Jout staring in his direction. And Jout had the feeling he could see a longing in Newkirk's eyes. That sparked in him the unrequited lover, who hoped that his love might be interested in him, even though he knew it could not be possible, which was something that didn't help Jout. As long as he was absolutely sure about Newkirk being straight, it was easier trying to ignore his feelings. But now that his infatuated mind had the hopes that Newkirk might be interested in him, his life was utter torture for him.

 _Stop it! You are just imagining something. Newkirk is straight, end of story. You have other things to deal with right now!_

Jout inwardly shuddered. Today was the day Brawley, Fanbrick and Leach would be released from the cooler, which meant to avoid them (which was a bit of a problem in a POW camp) or to find a way to get them to England. But Jout knew his brother would never let them escape; not since the fight and since he partially knew what they have done back in the days. Which only left him with two options: either going behind Hogan's back and get Brawley and his friends back to England by himself, which meant to risk the operation and every man in this camp or doing nothing and let Brawley tell the Germans that he was gay, which would mean unspeakable things being done to him and at last death.

Jout drove with his right hand through his hair. He was only glad that his injuries were healed or almost healed. His wrist was alright again, and the cut on his cheek was not visible anymore. But he was the happiest about the fact that his ribs were not hurting so much anymore, and that he could participate in outside missions again in two to four weeks. They were still a bit sore, but at least he could sleep in his own bunk again.

He walked along the wall of barracks 2 when he suddenly heard someone yelling for him. He turned around and gulped. It was Brawley with his friends Fanbrick and Leach! Before Jout could react, Brawley was already in front of him.

"Hogan, how are you feeling?" Brawley asked. "I can see that your injuries are healed. Isn't that great?"

Jout backed away slightly against the wall. "Yeah, it's great. And by the way, thanks for causing them" His voice turned serious. "What do you want from me?"

"You know what we want," said Brawley. "Our freedom. And you're going to help us achieve that"

"You wish! This prison is the right place for criminals like you, and for all I care, you and your friends can rotten in here"

Brawley only laughed. "Oh, Hogan. Eager to meet Kisro, are we?"

"You have no right to utter George's name, Brawley," Jout hissed. "Not after what you have done to him"

"My, my. I haven't done anything to him. He wanted it," said Brawley with a smug face.

It took Jout all his mental strength to not just punch Brawley in the face. But he calmed himself down, thinking that he was a better person than Brawley, and that he didn't need to place himself on the same level with him.

"If you don't mind," Jout calmly said. "I would like to go to my barracks"

He tried to go away, but Brawley pushed him against the wall. All the while, Fanbrick and Leach stood behind Brawley like little puppies, not knowing what to do without their master.

"Listen to me, Hogan. You will regret it if you don't help us get back to England. Your brother will learn what kind of deviant you are, and then he will turn his back on you. And don't think we will simply spill your secret to the Germans and let them kill you. Oh no, not before we had some fun" Brawley moved closer to Jout and ran his hand across Jout's chest and stomach. "We're gonna make your life a living hell"

Jout pushed his hand away and warned him. "Take your filthy hands away from me, or you are the one who's going to regret his actions" Then he added, "Oh, and go ahead. I can take the heat"

Brawley placed his right hand next to Jout's head, trapping him in between the wall and him. Then he pressed his left hand onto Jout's still sore ribs, which resulted in a sharp pain rushing through his body. He tried to wriggle himself out of this position, but Brawley was too strong. He moved his head to Jout's ear and whispered, "You have one month to decide what to do. Either you help us, and everything will be fine, or we'll let the Germans decide what to do with you"

Jout closed his eyes and tried to block out the pain spreading in his body. He only hoped that Brawley was finished soon and let him go away.

Suddenly, Jout heard someone saying, "You have two seconds to step away from him, or I will personally make sure you go back in the cooler"

Jout opened his eyes and turned his head towards the familiar voice. It was Hogan, and behind him stood Kinch, Carter, LeBeau, and Newkirk. Anger was flashing in his brown eyes.

Brawley adjusted Jout's jacket on his shoulders and retreated from him and said, "Anyways, I just wanted to apologize for my behaviour. I hope you can forgive me" He stretched his hand out.

Under the suspicious eyes of his brother and friends, Jout shook Brawley's hand. Brawley and his friends walked away, quickly saluting Hogan as they passed him and while Jout leaned back against the barracks' wall again, glad that the situation was over and that he got another month to figure out the mess he was in, Hogan and the others walked over to him.

They gathered around him and Hogan asked, "Is everything alright, Josh? What did he want from you?"

"He only wanted to apologize," lied Jout.

He knew his brother wouldn't believe that, but right now he didn't have the nerve to make up a story. As he turned his head he saw Newkirk looking at him, his eyes full of worry. Jout quickly looked away, still unsure of how to act around the Brit.

"And that's why he pressed you against the wall, hurting your ribs?"

Jout glanced to the ground. "I don't know what you're talking about. Brawley simply apologized, and that's it" He looked up again, directly in Hogan's eyes and held his brother's gaze. "I'm going to the barracks now, catching up on some sleep"

Jout left the group and went away. As he turned left and disappeared behind the barracks, Hogan turned to his men, pinching the back of his nose.

"What are we going to do now, Colonel?" asked Carter.

"Yeah," LeBeau chipped in. "Brawley obviously doesn't leave Jout alone. And he defends him"

Hogan leaned against the wall and rubbed his hand across his forehead. "Until I've figured out how to get Josh to talk, you guys won't leave him alone. Someone will always be around him, in and outside the barracks. Even if he goes to the latrines. Understood?"

"Yes, sir!" his men said in union.

Hogan and the others walked back to the barracks. They found Jout lying in his bunk above the tunnel entrance, apparently sleeping. Since there was currently no mission from London, the men had some free time which they used to rest or to live the boring life of a normal prisoner. Kinch read a book in his bunk, LeBeau cooked at the stove, and Newkirk and Carter played gin at the common table. Hogan darted a last glance at his younger brother, wishing he would trust him and tell him what exactly had happened between him and Brawley.

 _Oh, Josh. Why do you feel like you can't tell me what's troubling you? Why do you defend this guy? What has he done to you?_

* * *

 _One week later…_

Jout sat on the bench outside the barracks, trying to absorb the last rays of sunshine. He had his eyes closed and leaned with his head against the wall, simply enjoying the warmth. Next to him sat Newkirk, playing checkers against himself. LeBeau and Carter were currently playing volleyball with the other prisoners while Kinch was manning the radio and Hogan was in his office, doing paperwork for Klink.

Though it was a beautiful day and there weren't any missions planned for the day, Jout had a hard time really enjoying himself. Who would have, if he knew there would be good chance that he died in four weeks? Since his little encounter with Brawley, Jout constantly thought about the tight corner he was in and weighed the possibilities he had. And he was seriously considering letting Brawley tell the Germans about his preference for men. Of course he loved his life, but he tried to be realistic. He wouldn't be able to get them out of Germany on his own, which meant he had to convince his brother to let them escape. And he knew Hogan would never risk the life of every prisoner in this camp to get three criminals to England; and with that risking Klink's record of no escapes. A thought Jout completely supported. His only other option was to tell his brother everything, but he could not get himself to do that. It would be already hard enough to see Hogan turn his back on him when the Germans would tell him that his little brother was a deviant. Telling it to him in person would only make things much harder, and in the end his relationship with Hogan would be destroyed either way. Jout was sure that he would not accept the fact that he was gay; like many other high-ranking officers in the military. Their thinking was always the same, and it disgusted Jout. It was alright for those officers that gay men were risking their lives for their country and die, as long as they didn't openly say they were gay. If someone did, they would make sure he left the military by his own choice. He had seen it often enough. Especially colonels knew how to break someone mentally.

Jout was taken out of his thoughts by Newkirk asking, "Isn't it a beautiful day? It's too bad 'at autumn starts soon"

Jout opened his eyes and turned his head to Newkirk. That was another reason why he had a hard time concentrating on the mess he was in. Since the day Brawley was released from the cooler, his friends made sure he was never alone. It was probably Hogan who had ordered them to do so. Jout didn't know for sure what exactly Hogan had ordered them, but he was not blind. At first, he thought he was imagining something, but two events confirmed his observation. One was that miraculously always one of his friends had to go to the latrines just when he had to. But Carter's behaviour two days ago confirmed it at last. Garlotti and Olsen had asked everyone in the barracks if they wanted to join their football match. All the men said yes, except Jout. He never was fond of the game and figured he could use the time to write a letter to Ann. Suddenly Carter decided he was not in the mood to play after all, and that he could just as well write a letter to his mother too. Since then Jout knew for sure that one of his friends always stuck around him.

And it was not the fact that they were always following him that made it hard for him to concentrate. But Newkirk had apparently decided to make it his personal mission to always be the one around him. Only if he had to tailor some uniforms or forge papers for Hogan he would leave his side. For one week now, Newkirk was almost constantly around Jout; and that was Jout's biggest problem of all. A part of him enjoyed the time they spent together. He would play cards or checkers with the Brit while being deeply involved in a conversation with him. He loved how every time Newkirk talked about London or his family, his grey-green eyes would light up and he would smile from ear to ear. But the other part of him feared the feelings he had for him, and that they would only intensify the more time he spent with Newkirk.

Jout sighed. His life was a complete mess. Whether it was Brawley who threatened him or Newkirk who didn't leave him alone.

"Your right," Jout answered at last. His glance drifted back to the volleyball match. "I can't believe I'm already in this camp for six months. It seems so much longer"

"What should I say?" exclaimed Newkirk. "I'm locked up in this rat hole for three years and four months now!"

Jout looked to the ground. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to relativise your time here"

At the sad tone of the other man's voice, Newkirk glanced up from the checkers board. Unconsciously, he laid a hand on Jout's thigh. " 'ey, mate. Nothin' to worry about. Bein' locked up in a POW camp is always crappy; whether it's been months or years"

He suddenly realised where his hand was and quickly pulled it away. As Newkirk looked down at the checkers board again, trying to avoid the American's glance, Jout felt a sudden rush of sadness going through his body, because he liked the tingling that Newkirk's hand had caused. But he knew that every touch from Newkirk would make it harder for him to decide what to do with Brawley, and therefore, he tried to ignore it.

"I know what you mean, Newkirk," Jout absently said. "You have no idea how well I know it"


	22. Chapter 22

_Four days later…_

Newkirk and LeBeau sat outside barracks 2 and played a round of gin together. It was their daily hour of sportive outside activity, but the two of them had no desire for playing sports and so they simply sat outside and enjoyed the midday sun. Other prisoners were more keen on doing exercise and played basketball or soccer; one of those was Jout. He currently played basketball with Embrey and Ashton, showing them some trick shots. Newkirk's position gave him the perfect view on the American, trying to unobtrusively watch him and look out for any unwanted company. Since Jout's second encounter with Brawley, Newkirk tried to be always around him to be able to step in if Brawley decided to come too close to Jout and therefore to be able to protect him. And the fear he felt for Jout only intensified with every day he didn't tell anyone what was going on between him and those three sergeants, because of which Newkirk had no idea against what he tried to guard Jout. But he figured it must be something horrible if the American wouldn't confide in anyone, no matter how often his friends tried to get him to talk.

" _Mon ami,_ you're staring at him again," said LeBeau, taking Newkirk out of his thoughts.

LeBeau was the only in camp who knew about Newkirk's preference for men, and about his liking for Jout. It was about one year after LeBeau ended up in this camp when he became suspicious of all the stories Newkirk was telling the other prisoners involving him and various women. He just couldn't believe that one man was with so many women without any consequences whatsoever. And suddenly the penny dropped as LeBeau remembered his cousin Jacques, who had always bragged with the girls he was with until his family found out he was gay. And Newkirk acted exactly like Jacques did when LeBeau was young. Then one day, while doing their laundry, he had confronted Newkirk with his suspicion, and at first, the Brit denied everything and accused LeBeau of jealousy. But he quickly stopped denying who he was once LeBeau told him of his cousin and assured him that he didn't think any different of him. Oddly enough, Newkirk's biggest fear that someone would find out that he was gay was the beginning of his close friendship to the temperamental Frenchman.

Newkirk rapidly looked at LeBeau and asked concerned, "Am I this obvious?"

LeBeau chuckled. "Only to me. But that's because I'm French and the rest in this camp blind to love"

"Psst! Would ya pipe down or else the whole camp will know about it," hissed Newkirk. He glanced back at Jout for a moment and said, "If yer such an expert on love, tell me what I should do"

LeBeau took a card from the deck and examined his cards thoughtfully. "Tell him how you feel"

"Well 'at's a brilliant idea, LeBeau!" he snorted. "And next I'll tell the Krauts about it"

Still looking at his cards, LeBeau said, "I don't know what your problem is, Pierre. You asked me a question and I answered it"

"Yeah, but ya gave me a rotten advice!"

LeBeau shook his head. "I don't see why. Jout seems to like your company; after all, he has not once said anything about you always searching his company"

"But 'at doesn't mean I should tell 'im 'ow I feel," Newkirk said. "It could simply mean 'e likes me as a friend"

"What makes you think he might not be interested in you?" LeBeau asked, throwing away a card and looking up at Newkirk.

"Easy. Because 'e's straight"

LeBeau raised an eyebrow. "And how do you want to know that? As far as I can recall it, Jout has never said anything about having a girlfriend back in the States. And he himself told us that he's not interested in Ann. On second thought, he never said one word about ever having a girl in his life" Then he added, "And I mean, you're not exactly the lady's man you pretend to be either. So what someone appears to be might not always be true"

Now Newkirk was the one who looked down. "Ya may be right. But even if Jout's gay, it would 'ave no use tellin' 'im 'ow I feel. There are four reasons why there's no chance we're ever goin' to be together"

"Tell me," LeBeau demanded.

"First, because 'e's a Yank, and I'm English. We live thousands of miles away from each other"

"Well, that's no problem," LeBeau said. "One of you could just move to the other"

Newkirk shook his head. "And 'at's exactly the problem. Jout wants to stay in the Air Force, which means 'e'll stay in the US. And after at least three years away from me family, I will never leave London again"

"Who says Jout won't give up his job in the military for you? Many people give things up for love," LeBeau remarked.

"Ya Frenchmen, always so naïve," Newkirk said. "Anyways, another reason we can't be together is our age difference. I'm a little more than five years 'is senior"

"Age is only a number," LeBeau smiled. "My father is ten years older than my mother, and they're happily married to this day"

"Oh, come on!" Newkirk exclaimed. "Jout's twenty and I'm goin' to be twenty-six in two months. I think 'at makes a difference"

"If you say so," LeBeau mutters. "What are the other reasons?"

" 'e is an officer _AND_ the gov'nor's brother. And I'm only an enlisted man. I'd say it would be quite awkward to receive orders from a man whose younger brother I'm bonkin'"

LeBeau laid down his cards and leaned forward. "You know what? All those "reasons" are only shabby excuses of a coward who is too afraid to follow his heart" Newkirk wanted to say something, but LeBeau raised his hand. "And don't say I'm wrong. I mean, really Pierre? Your age difference and the fact that Jout is the Colonel's brother? What kind of lame reasons are that?" He placed a hand on the other man's shoulder. "Trust me. You will regret it if you don't talk to him. Big-time"

Newkirk bit his lower lip at LeBeau's words and eventually sighed. LeBeau was right; he was a coward. He had been one all his life, especially since he joined the RAF. He had always hidden who he truly was, which ended in small encounters with men he barely knew in dark alleys or the pub's restroom, and spinning tales about how he could seduce any woman.

He threw his cards away too and drove with his hand through his tousled black hair. "Ya're right, Louis. I am nothin' more than a pathetic coward"

"Well, I wouldn't go that far, calling you a "pathetic coward"" LeBeau gave him a compassionate smile. "You are just someone who's having a hard time dealing with his feelings"

Newkirk looked in LeBeau's eyes and started smiling. "Thank you, Louis. Ya are a great friend"

He averted his gaze again and saw how Jout walked towards them, rubbing his ribs and looking very much in pain. Immediate concern rushed through Newkirk's body at the sight of his secret love obviously feeling uncomfortable. "Why are ya rubbin' yer ribs, Jout?" he asked as the American came closer to them.

"Nothing to worry about" Jout waved off. "Just that my ribs are still a bit sore; probably was too much exercise for my body right now. I will just lie down and relax, and then my ribs won't hurt anymore"

"Are ya sure?" Newkirk asked in a worried tone. "Maybe ya should go and see Wilson?"

"That won't be necessary. And stop worrying so much about me" Jout grabbed for the doorknob and opened the door but turned back to Newkirk and smiled. "Thank you"

He walked into the barracks and closed the door behind him. Newkirk looked at LeBeau, who started grinning like a fool. "I'm telling you, Pierre. Jout likes you. You will see"

* * *

Later that afternoon, Jout lay on his bunk and read a French novel he had borrowed from LeBeau. His own books had become boring over the time and with LeBeau's book he could read something different and freshen up his knowledge of French at the same time.

The other occupants of the barracks were inside too, but most of them were bored. So Carter, Saunders, and Galotti decided to start a soccer game, asking the other prisoners if they would join in too. Apparently, his friends had learnt from the Carter incident, because now they always asked Jout first what he wanted to do.

"Are you in, Jout?" asked Carter.

Jout laid the book down on his chest and turned his head to Carter. "No. My ribs still hurt a bit; I think I should take it easy until Wilson clears me"

Carter nodded. "Alright" He then looked at Newkirk. "And you, Newkirk?"

Newkirk currently sat at the common table and played solitaire. He glanced up from his cards and answered, "Ya will 'ave to do without me too, chap. I'm not in the mood for soccer"

Jout rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to the book in his hands. Even in the barracks his friends didn't leave him alone. And of course Newkirk was the one who decided to stay with him; as if Jout did not have enough problems with Brawley. How should he ignore his feelings if Newkirk was always around him?

In the end, everyone except Hogan, Newkirk, and Jout stayed inside the barracks, with Hogan doing some papers for Klink in his office. When everyone had left the barracks, an oppressive silence spread across the main room. On the one hand, Jout wanted to stay away from Newkirk to ignore his growing feelings for the Brit. On the other hand, he always enjoyed the time they spent alone together. Jout sighed and closed his eyes. He had read the same page for the fourth time now and he still didn't know what the page said. He simply could not concentrate while he felt Newkirk's glance on him. At last Jout gave in to the feeling that wanted to be close to Newkirk and he laid LeBeau's book aside. Then he climbed down and went to the stove to pour himself a cup of tea.

He sat down across from Newkirk and asked, "Care to play a hand of gin?"

Newkirk looked up from his cards and smiled. "Sure" He picked up the cards from the table and shuffled them. "Weren't ya just readin'?"

Jout took a sip from his cup. "Mhm. But if I read everything now, I have nothing left for later" Then he looked down at his hands that held his cup. "And I didn't want you to sit all by yourself"

Newkirk stopped shuffling the cards for a moment. "Well, thank ya" He resumed shuffling, only to deal the cards immediately. "Though I like to play me fair share of solitaire, it always makes more fun to play with someone else" He took his cards and asked, "Money or smokes?"

"Cigarettes," Jout answered. "I think it makes more fun to part you from your smokes only to see you begging me for them again," he said, grinning.

Newkirk laughed. "Ya wish! Peter Newkirk never begs for anythin'. 'e simply takes what 'e wants"

Jout took a card from the deck. "So I've noticed"

They played a few hands and Newkirk caught himself staring at Jout again. He quickly looked down at the cards in his hands when he remembered his talk with LeBeau earlier in the day. Newkirk bit his lip, deciding whether he should go out on a limb and try to press the man in front of him for some information regarding his personal life. In the end, the curious mind of the secret lover one.

"Say, 'ow are things with Ann?" he asked as he tried to engage Jout in conversation.

"I've already told you that I'm not involved with her," Jout said. "Other than that, Tommy and she are fine. In her last letter she wrote that Tommy likes the place they're staying"

"Well, 'at's great to 'ear!"

Jout looked up from his cards and asked, "And how are things with the girl who's currently writing to you? What's her name? Mary?"

"Maria," answered Newkirk bitterly.

"Yes, Maria. But from the tone of your voice I assume things are not great"

Newkirk sighed. " 'er last letter contained a weddin' announcement"

"Ouch!" Jout exclaimed. "I'm sorry for you"

"Don't be. It's not the first one I received, and probably won't be the last. I mean, life outside this ruddy camp goes on," he explained. "She's goin' to marry an Air Force lieutenant. She really sounded 'appy"

"Wait, she wrote you how happy she is with another man?" Jout asked. "That's not nice"

"Maybe, but nothin' tops me first bird. Walked in on 'er makin' out with me at 'at time best friend"

"Well, that is below the belt," Jout said.

Now Newkirk had the conversation exactly where he wanted it to nose around Jout's past unnoticed. "And 'ow did yer first girl broke up with ya? Or were ya the one to put an end to it?" Newkirk saw how Jout immediately tensed up and looked down at his cards. He could swear he had seen him blushing. "We don't 'ave to talk about it if ya don't want to, mate. M'sorry if I tore up ol' wounds"

Jout tried to think of what to respond. He had to hide the truth at all costs; however, he had a feeling he could trust Newkirk with a modified version of the truth. Besides, he didn't want to lie to him if not completely necessary.

"It's alright, Newkirk. You did nothing wrong" Jout looked him directly in the eyes. "Promise not to laugh?"

Newkirk nodded.

"I never had a girlfriend," Jout admitted sheepishly.

Newkirk raised an eyebrow. "Not one? 'ow come?"

Jout was surprised at Newkirk's reaction. He was the first one who didn't make fun of him, and Jout was sure that he would do it as the lady's man he was.

"Never had the time to meet one. Since I joined the Air Core with 14, I always had to work much harder than the others to earn respect from my comrades and commanding officers. So I mostly stayed at the base; besides, I was too young to go bars with others. And then I went to England to fight the Germans at age 18 and met Ann, after which I spent most free weekends with Tommy," Jout explained.

"Sounds logical to me," was the only thing Newkirk said.

"Wait, you don't want to make fun of me?" Jout asked perplexed.

"Why should I? It's none of me business"

Jout smiled and turned his attention back to the cards in his hands. Newkirk, on the other hand, had a hard time to hold back a grin. Jout never having a girl before was of course no reason for him to hope for anything, but still, it was better than nothing. And right now, his infatuated mind clung to any glimmer of hope it got.


	23. Chapter 23

_Three days later…_

Jout looked to the overcast sky and pulled his seedy jacket tighter around his body. Autumn was coming; Jout's least favourite time of the year. The sky was dark, it was always raining, and the chill breeze felt worse than it actually was because he was still used to the warm summer days. All in all, Jout hated autumn. Right now, he was sitting on the bench outside his barracks with Carter sitting in between him and LeBeau. Across from the Frenchman sat Newkirk and the two of them were playing checkers. Next to them stood Hogan who leant against the barracks wall, watching the surroundings.

"I hate autumn," grumbled Jout as a particular cold breeze hit his face.

"Then ya 'aven't seen a German winter, mate," laughed Newkirk. "Once ya lived through it, nothin' bothers ya anymore"

"But at least it's snowing in winter, not raining," Jout said.

"I love snow," Carter chipped in. "In Bullfrog, me and my siblings always built snowmen and had snowball fights. After hours of playing in the snow, our mother would call us in and we were greeted by the scent of hot cocoa"

Carter's daydreaming was interrupted by Kinch stepping through the door and saying, "Message from London, Sir" He handed Hogan a small blue paper and turned up his collar as another cold breeze came along.

Hogan studied the paper and let out a sigh. He looked up from the paper and at his men who waited in anticipation for Hogan to tell them what their next assignment was. "London wants us to destroy a highly secured war plant. Our bombers can't get through because of the German air defence"

"Where is this war factory, Colonel?" asked Carter.

Hogan scratched his forehead. "In Schweinfurt"

"Schweinfurt?" exclaimed LeBeau. "That's about forty miles from here! How do they think we get there?"

" 'at's just what I was thinkin'," said Newkirk.

"Just wait. You have not heard the best part yet," warned Hogan. "The local Underground group checked it out. The factory is surrounded by an electric barbed wire fence and guards carrying machine guns. The guards are always in pairs of two, and they have five big searchlights. All cars passing through the main gate are searched. There are landmines all around the fence"

"Oh, great! London wants us to go on a bleedin' suicide mission"

"They are out of their mind if they think we can do it," said Kinch. "Do you want me to send London that we blow it off?"

Hogan had his arms crossed in front of his chest and gazed into the distance. He rubbed with his right hand across his chin and announced, "Kinch, send London we confirm the mission and we'll do it as soon as possible"

"But, Colonel, how do you want to get to Schweinfurt?" asked Carter.

"Never mind getting' there!" exclaimed Newkirk. " 'ow do you want us to get _in_ there?"

"And how should we get out of there?" asked LeBeau.

"In a coffin," snorted Newkirk.

"Hold it, hold it!" interrupted Hogan. "We always find a way, no matter how tricky the situation. This mission just needs careful planning"

Hogan was on his way inside the barracks, when he saw a car driving through the gate. From the flags on it, it was a general's car, which got Hogan's attention. He didn't know of any general in town, and from Klink's hasty walk out of his office, he was not expecting company either.

"An Army general?" asked Jout. "What does he want from Klink?"

"Whatever it is, he doesn't look very happy," pointed Kinch out.

Hogan opened the door. "Well, let's listen in and find out"

The men walked inside the barracks and headed for Hogan's office to listen in to Klink's conversation with the general.

* * *

"General Busch [1], what brings you to Stalag 13?" asked Klink nervously. He went to the liquor cabinet and questioned, "Do you care for a drink, _Herr General_?"

"Klink!" yelled the general annoyed. "I have much more important things to discuss with you. Sit down and listen!"

"Of course, _Herr General_ " Klink immediately sat down behind his desk. "What can I do for you?"

General Busch sat down too, across from Klink, his aide standing behind him. "I'm currently on my way to the Eastern Front. Our boys have trouble with the Russians and therefore the _Generalstab_ [general staff] has created a new offensive that will crush them and will win the war for us" He showed Klink a black briefcase. "All plans are in here. I was ordered to bring those plans to the commission officers of the divisions fighting in Russia, but the car was making trouble and we came here so that your mechanics can repair it"

"I can assure you, _Herr General_ , your car will be repaired as fast as possible. My mechanics are very good at what they do," said Klink.

"The general's car needs to be repaired by tomorrow morning," interrupted the aide. "It's incredible important that he arrives in Russia in the next week"

" _Hauptmann_ Vogt is right, Klink. Your mechanics better get going" His glance landed at the briefcase. "Oh, and I need to put the briefcase in your safe. While I'm here, no one is allowed to look into your safe. Security measure"

* * *

Hogan disconnected the coffee pot and crossed his arms. "General Busch. Sounds familiar"

"He's commanding the 16th Army in Russia, near Nevel. It's part of the Army Group North," explained Jout who leaned against the wall next to the window. "They are currently trying to fight off the advancing Red Army and hold Nevel" The others looked at him with questioning looks on their faces, as if to ask how he knew that. "What? I'm reading London's weekly reports that they are sending"

"That would explain why he is urgently needed at the Russian front. And what the plans in his briefcase are about," said Hogan. He paced about and rubbed his chin. "Kinch, while you're confirming the mission, tell London about the general. And tell them that we're destroying the plant and photograph those plans tonight"

"Tonight, _mon Colonel_?" asked LeBeau in disbelief.

"But how do you want to do that, Colonel?" questioned Carter. "Klink will surely double the guards with General Busch in camp"

Hogan walked over to where Jout stood and searched for a map of the area behind a wooden plank. Jout moved slightly away and turned around to watch what his brother was doing.

"Like I already said, we just need careful planning" His men gathered around him and listened to him carefully. Hogan pointed at the map and said, "Here is Schweinfurt, and the war plant is on the outskirts. Kinch will bribe the sergeant from the motor pool so that he parks a truck two miles north east of the camp, near this barn. Before he drives the truck out, we will fill it with dynamite"

"What do ya 'ave in mind, gov'nor?"

"The Underground group in Schweinfurt said that every night there is a truck convoy driving into the plant without being searched. Kinch will radio them to give us the exact route and last checkpoint. Carter, Kinch, LeBeau, and I will leave this camp during the change of guards. Since Klink will surely have a dinner for the general and his aide, this should give us enough time for the mission. We will drive to Schweinfurt and join the convoy. Then we will leave the truck, take cover, and we'll leave the plant during the confusion of the explosion. We will drive back to camp with a car that we got from the local Underground group" Hogan turned to Newkirk. "All the while, you will sneak into Klink's office and retrieve the plans from his safe to photograph them. You should have enough time for that because of the dinner"

"And what should I do?" asked Jout.

"You will stay here and listen in on Klink's dinner with the general. Maybe General Busch spills something important under the influence of alcohol"

Jout was disappointed that his brother wanted him to remain on the side line, but he knew it would have no use trying to get him change his mind. Hogan made clear that he would sit out any outside missions as long as Wilson had not cleared him for active duty. And Wilson said his ribs would only be fully healed next week. So Jout stayed silent and nodded.

"Newkirk, I need three _Wehrmacht_ uniforms. Make LeBeau and Carter sergeants, and I will pose as a captain. While Carter and I drive the truck with the dynamite into the war plant, Kinch will call the plant commander and pose as _General Kinchmeyer_ to distract him. Meanwhile, LeBeau will get the car from the Underground and after the explosion we'll meet three miles south of the plant. LeBeau will drive back with me, and Carter and Kinch will hide under blankets" Hogan turned around to face his men. "Understood?"

They nodded and left his office. Kinch immediately headed for the tunnel entrance to radio London while the rest settled around the common table.

"The gov'nor's gone crackers!" ranted Newkirk and plopped down besides Jout. He sat, as usual, a little too close to the American, but no one seemed to notice.

"Ah, stop whining, Newkirk," said an annoyed LeBeau. "You're staying here, and your only task is to break into Klink's safe. Kinch, Carter, the Colonel, and I are the ones who go out and risk life and limb"

Jout sighed and propped his head onto his hands. "Well, at least Rob trusts you enough to take you out on this dangerous mission. My only job is to listen to Klink's babbling as he tries to get promoted to general"

"He trusts you, Jout. It's just that Colonel Hogan wants to go easy on you as long as your ribs are not fully healed," explained Carter.

Newkirk threw an arm around Jout's shoulder and smiled. "I guess 'at means we two beauties 'ave to spend the night alone while our friends make a trip to good ol' Schweinfurt"

Jout looked into his warm grey-green eyes and returned Newkirk's smile. "Yeah, I guess your right"

* * *

 _Later that night…_

Jout sat together with Newkirk at Hogan's desk and listened in to Klink's dinner with General Busch and his aide, Captain Vogt. Until now, they have not heard anything unusual coming from Klink's private quarters. Klink kept bragging with his "no-escape record" and General Busch seemed rather annoyed.

"I think it's best you make your way to Klink's office," said Jout as he looked at the Brit sitting on a stool next to him. "They're in the middle of dinner. You should have enough time to open the safe, photograph the plans, and come back here"

Newkirk stood up and half-heartedly saluted. "Sure, Lieutenant," he answered mockingly.

Jout started laughing and threw his hat at Newkirk. "Get going, or else I'll have to punish you for making fun of a superior officer"

Before he slit through the door, Newkirk answered with a smirk on his face, "Maybe I wouldn't mind"

Newkirk closed the door and Jout turned his attention back to the coffee pot, trying to ignore the warmth spreading in his stomach. He loved to joke around with the Brit who stole his heart, and for the past hour that he sat together with Newkirk, he had a hard time concentrating on his task. But right now, he noticed a feeling of fear rising in him. Newkirk was getting bolder. First, his statement at the common table earlier in the day, and now this. Jout had not realized that his joke could be seen as a sexual allusion, but Newkirk obviously did. If Jout's conclusion was right, this was going to be a long war.

Jout was too occupied with his thoughts than to listen to Klink's dinner talk with the general. However, he was taken back to reality by a remark of General Busch that made his blood run cold.

" _I'm going to check your safe, Klink. To make sure the vital plans are still there_ "

Newkirk! Jout's heart immediately stood still, only to start pounding like mad. He could hear it beating in his ears as he tried to think of what to do. There was no way to warn him, and he couldn't run out to create a diversion, because that would only turn Klink's attention to the barracks and then he would notice that four men were missing. That meant all he could do was praying for Newkirk to get out of Klink's office in time. Since Kinch had connected the coffee pot to Klink's private quarters, Jout was not able to listen in to the office.

Five long minutes later, in which Jout thought he would have a heart attack, the door to Hogan's office was opened. Jout's head whirled around and he saw a blue figure slipping into the room.

Jout sighed with relief and without thinking, he walked over to Newkirk and hugged him. "Thank God! I was worried General Busch would find you"

Newkirk hugged him back, a bit too long, but neither seemed to care. He put on his typical cocky attitude and said, "I'm far too clever for those Krauts. It also 'elps to think quick and 'ide under Klink's desk when ya 'ear voices"

Jout stepped back and sat down at the desk. "Were you able to photograph the plans before the general came?"

The Brit grinned and held up a small camera. "I'm fast at what I do" He moved over to the desk and settled himself next to the American.

Jout took the camera from Newkirk and put it in the inner pocket of his jacket. "Great. So we accomplished our assignments. Let's just hope the others are just as successful"

Newkirk glanced down at the notepad in front of Jout. "And did I miss anythin' interestin'?"

Jout didn't hear him. He was lost in his thoughts and worry for Newkirk. He had really thought he would lose him, and it showed Jout how much he actually cared for the Brit. And it had showed him that with every passing day it became harder for him to ignore his feelings.

He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. In fact, he was so startled that he threw his pencil down as he turned around to face Newkirk. Jout rushed to knelt down and search for the pencil and muttered, "I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What were you saying?"

Newkirk knelt down and laid his hand again on Jout's shoulder. "Never mind! Is everythin' alright with ya? Ya seem jumpy," asked Newkirk concerned.

Jout looked up, directly in Newkirk's warm eyes, and he had to hold his breath. He was greeted by green eyes filled with a burning desire. And that desire was directed at him. It was as if time stood still, and Jout was only aware of the man kneeling in front of him. Then he noticed that Newkirk's head was coming closer and next he felt the Brit's soft lips on his.

* * *

 **[1] – General Ernst Busch was appointed commander of the 16th Army in 1940, and led it during the Battle of France and the early stages of the fighting on the Eastern Front. By October 1943, he was a field marshal and commander of Army Group Centre but was sacked the following June after the collapse of his command during the Red Army's** _ **Operation Bagration**_ **. He was later the commander of Army Group Northwest in the final months of the war and died as a prisoner of war in England.**


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N: Most of the chapter is slash with graphic details in the last paragraph. As always, the slash plot is tagged with bold H's for you to skip it if you don't like it.**

* * *

 **HHHHHHH**

 _Jout looked up, directly in Newkirk's warm eyes, and he had to hold his breath. He was greeted by green eyes filled with a burning desire. And that desire was directed at him. It was as if time stood still, and Jout was only aware of the man kneeling in front of him. Then he noticed that Newkirk's head was coming closer and next he felt the Brit's soft lips on his._

Jout gasped when Newkirk's lips met his and he had to clutch the table to keep his balance. Newkirk was kissing him! Just like in all those dreams he had for the last weeks. Jout quickly pinched himself but realized he was not dreaming. Then his mind began to rotate. They should not be doing this; not when there were nine men sleeping in the other room. Not when one of them could come in any minute to inform them that the others had arrived safely. Jout knew all of this; knew what it meant if the wrong people find out about his preference. But still, he could not make his body pull away. He was frozen to the spot with wide eyes when Newkirk backed off.

Upon receiving no reaction from the other man, Newkirk immediately regretted his actions. "M'sorry, Jout. I don't know what came over me," he began to apologize.

And in that moment, Jout turned off his good judgement. He knew he should not do what he was about to do, but right now, he only cared about the man in front of him. Before Newkirk could say anything further, Jout grabbed Newkirk's jacket lapel and pulled him closer, kissing him back. He felt Newkirk stiffening, but he quickly relaxed and then it was as if Jout had flipped a switch in Newkirk. He started to kiss the American more fiercely, driving his hands all across his back and holding him close. Jout moaned softly and moved his right hand up behind his head, running his fingers through the Brit's combed yet at the same time tousled black hair.

As he felt Newkirk's tongue grazing his lips, he found the strength to pull away. "The door," Jout said in a husky voice.

Newkirk rose and grabbed his jacket to pull him up. Placing his lips yet again on Jout's, Newkirk turned them around and pushed Jout tenderly against the door. He closed the door and next his hands started exploring the other man's body. He moved them inside his jacket and then up, pushing it from his shoulders. Newkirk pressed his body closer to Jout's and intensified the kiss, probing his mouth open. Feeling Newkirk's tongue touching his own made Jout groan and he felt how his knees began to soften. After removing his blue jacket and throwing it away, Jout tugged at Newkirk's sweater which prompted Newkirk to take it off. Instead of going back kissing Jout's mouth, he moved down to his neck and began to gently gnaw on the soft skin. Jout moaned again and grabbed some of Newkirk's hair to steady himself. He felt how Newkirk quickly unbuttoned his beige officer's shirt, flinging it open and pushing it off his shoulders.

Newkirk backed off and looked Jout deeply in the eyes, checking if there was any sign of resistance. But Jout only pressed his lips against his which made him moan. Newkirk pulled him away from the door and led him towards the bunk bed while he removed the American's khaki undershirt. When the pair reached the bunk bed, Newkirk pushed Jout onto the lower bunk and immediately followed him. While they stripped each other down, their hands began to explore the other man's body. Jout had to moan at the feel of Newkirk's bare chest against his own, feeling the heat that came from his body, and he wrapped his arms around his back to pull him even closer. When Newkirk began to nibble on his earlobe, Jout groaned at the sensation, but also realized in the back of his mind that Newkirk obviously did not mind being in charge and giving more pleasure than he received in return. Jout was immensely glad about that, because Henri was the only man he was ever with in his whole life and therefore he was not really experienced in this department.

Jout drove his hands down Newkirk's back and stopped at his buttocks, feeling him shiver under his touch. Newkirk moved away from his ear and looked at the man underneath him, his brown eyes glazing over with passion. "I want ya," whispered Newkirk. "Right 'ere, right now"

Jout did not need to answer to show him what he wanted. He removed one hand from his buttocks and used it to push his head down, hungrily kissing his lips. He felt Newkirk's stiff manhood pressing against his loins and raised his hips, revealing his own need and making the other man groan. Newkirk rolled partly down from him, now laying with his right elbow and side on the thin mattress. He kissed him deep and let his left hand travel down Jout's chest. Jout shivered in anticipation and pressed his hand tightly against Newkirk's back as he followed the small trail of brown hair going from his bellybutton to his hardening erection. Newkirk intensified the kiss once more when he finally wrapped his hand around his destination and began to gently stroke it. Jout moaned into Newkirk's mouth at his movement that he longed for the last weeks. While his mind started to get clouded, Jout regained enough of his senses to wrap his own hand around Newkirk's hardness, making him groan. Jout tried to match the other man's movements and soon he felt how his control slipped further away from him until he fell over the edge of ecstasy. Newkirk was not too far behind as he pressed his mouth onto Jout's again and breathlessly whispered his name.

 **HHHHHHH**

Newkirk removed his hand and brought it up to Jout's chest, laying his head on his shoulder. They were both panting and neither said a word as they tried to catch their breath. Jout silently looked up at the bottom of the upper bunk when suddenly a wave of guilt washed through his body. They should not have done this. He should have put an end to this before it had even started. It was not as if he felt physically bad for his encounter with Newkirk; he never felt this great in his whole life, and it was something he had dreamed of the last weeks. However, he put Newkirk at the risk of getting caught in the crossfire between him and Brawley. And the last time he didn't act responsible and someone close to him was caught in the crossfire, the whole situation ended in a gruesome and tragic mess. And he would definitely protect Newkirk, even if it meant to do something that he would always regret.

Jout felt Newkirk lightly pecking his cheek which made him sit up and putting his feet on the ground. He searched for his khaki green shorts and said, "I think we should get dressed. I'm sure the others will arrive any moment"

Newkirk was completely surprised at Jout's sudden change in behaviour and sat up too. He put a hand on his back and asked, " 'ey, is everythin' alright? Did I do somethin' wron'?"

Jout closed his eyes. _Oh, no, you didn't do anything wrong. You were perfect._

He quickly stood up to get his undershirt that lay a few feet away from the bunk. "Everything's fine. It's just that I appreciated if the others wouldn't find us naked in the same bunk"

Still puzzled at Jout's reaction, Newkirk began to dress himself. "But somethin' is buggin' ya, Jout. Didn't ya like it?"

 _Of course I liked it! More than anything else I ever experienced. It was even better than with Henri._

Jout tugged his shirt into his pants and zipped it up. Then he turned around and looked into Newkirk's eyes that greeted him with a look of confusion. Heavy-heartedly he said, "Listen, Peter, what happened was just a hook up. We were both lonely and caught up in the heat of the moment. No damage done"

Newkirk's eyes widened. "But I don't want it to be a mere one-off. And ya certainly liked it from the way ya kissed back"

Jout sighed. "We can't do this!" And then Jout said something that made him almost throw up. "Peter, we're two guys! We shouldn't be doing something like that"

"Blimey, don't tell me ya're one of those blokes who shag other blokes and then treat them like shit," Newkirk raged as he put on his blue jacket.

"Think what you want to think, Peter"

Jout put on his garrison cap and went to the door. As he quietly left the room, he whispered, "I only try to protect you," not audible for anyone else besides himself.


	25. Chapter 25

Jout yawned and placed the clipboard on a crate in front of him to rub his eyes. He had not slept a wink last night, his mind always drifting back to his moments of passion with Newkirk, and how he deliberately hurt the love of his life. Jout felt awful for what he did, but he didn't know what else he could do. Either Jout had kept silent and watched how things between him and Newkirk evolved, which meant to risk Newkirk's wellbeing, or he ended things before it even started and risking that Newkirk hated him, but at least he was safe. And that was Jout's top priority. He would not allow that Brawley and his gang harmed Newkirk just like they harmed George; he could not live with that burden. And if it meant Newkirk hating him for the rest of his life and thinking Jout hated homosexuals, then he would endure all of it.

After breakfast, during which he had avoided any eye contact with Newkirk, Hogan had asked him to do an inventory of everything they stored in the tunnel. Jout happily agreed to that, because it gave him an excuse to dodge Newkirk without rising any suspicion among his friends. He just couldn't bear to look him in the eyes right now, not with what he had said last night.

Jout picked up the clipboard again and opened the crate in front of him. It contained multiple cards of different areas in Germany and France, as well as ten parcels of munition. He wrote the content down on his list and tabled on another list what they needed London to send in their next delivery. Jout was finished with half of the inventory when he heard footsteps and looked up. But he quickly lowered his glance again when he caught sight of blue trousers. Immediately his heart started to beat faster and Jout simply stared at the clipboard, hoping that if he ignored the presence of the person in front of him, he would leave. But no such luck.

"What, last night ya slept with me and today ya don't even look at me?" asked Newkirk bitterly, leaning against the tunnel wall and taking a drag on his cigarette.

Jout sighed and slowly raised his glance. He looked at Newkirk and asked in an annoyed tone, "Satisfied?"

"Not really" Newkirk moved closer to Jout until he stood right across from him, only the crate in between them. "I would like to talk about last night"

"I don't know what there is to talk about," Jout said and went back to writing the list for London.

"And I think there is a lot to discuss," answered Newkirk sternly. "For example, what yer babblin' about two blokes shouldn't do what we did was about?"

"What is there not to understand? Two guys should not sleep with each other," Jout said. He could slap himself for saying those words, but somehow, he had to get Newkirk to leave him alone.

" 'at's what ya say, but 'at's not what ya think, am I right?"

Jout looked up from the clipboard and at Newkirk, a puzzled look on his face. "What gives you that idea?

Newkirk laughed. "Come on, Jout. Don't act stupid. **Ya** kissed back after I backed off and started to apologize. **Ya** encouraged me multiple times with yer passionate kisses to go on. And now ya want to tell me 'at ya think it's wrong to be gay? I don't believe ya" He laid a hand on Jout's. "What is it, Jout? Are ya afraid 'at someone finds out about us? I can keep me mouth shut, trust me"

Jout pulled his hand away from Newkirk's grasp. "There is no "us" to find out about"

"But there could be," Newkirk said and softly smiled at Jout. "I know 'at there is somethin' between us. Don't ya feel it? And then what 'appened last night. Ya can't deny it, Jout"

Jout sighed again. In any other situation, he would have immediately said yes and threw his arms around the Brit, kissing him like mad. But not with Brawley in this camp. Not if he threatened to tell the Germans that he was gay. And now he stood there, the love of his life telling him that he wanted a relationship with him, and he had to break his heart once and for all. He had to make Newkirk hate him, so that nothing would happen to him.

"Peter, there will be no "us", alright? After the war, I'll go back to the States and find myself a girl to marry and start a family. And you should do the same. It's better this way," Jout reluctantly said.

Newkirk's smile faded and was replaced by a blank stare. Then he glared at the American and said, "Ah, I understand. Can't 'andle the fact 'at ya lost yer virginity to a man, right?" Jout once again glanced at him with a confused look on his face and Newkirk asked, "Already forgotten 'at ya told me 'at, didn't ya?"

Jout closed his eyes and pinched the back of his nose. If Newkirk didn't want to listen to him, he had to learn it the hard way. "I've had it with you, Newkirk," Jout began in an angry tone. "Nothing happened last night, and I have not lost my virginity to a man. We barely did anything with each other, only a little touching. And if you don't stop with this whole relationship nonsense, I will give you a reality check the hard way. Do you understand?"

Jout watched as Newkirk bit his lower lip and then looked to the ground. "I do" Then he turned around, but before he walked away, he said, "I would appreciate it if no one finds out about this"

Jout gulped. He had not thought that Newkirk gave up that easily. "Sure, my mouth is sealed"

Newkirk nodded and trotted away, leaving Jout behind with his self-hatred. When he was sure that he was alone, Jout bashed the crate in front of him as anger about the whole situation rose in him. When he calmed himself down again, he buried his head in his hands and silently cried upon realizing what he had done.

* * *

After climbing up the ladder to the barracks, Newkirk rushed out of it without saying a word to the other occupants and quickly made his way to the delousing station. No one liked to be around it and so it was a good place to go if one didn't want to get bothered. Newkirk used to come to the station all the time before he started his private talks with Jout behind the storage barracks, but right now, he wanted to be as far away from the American and everything that stood for him as possible. As Newkirk reached the delousing station, he let his body slide down the wall and he eventually sat down, huddled with his head on his knees. He could not believe that he was wrong about Jout; he had really thought the American was not so narrow-minded and would accept him. And he could not believe that his judging on his preference was wrong. Normally, Newkirk was excellent on judging people and could always trust his instincts. But today was the first time his gut feeling was wrong. Newkirk had to blink to hold his tears back. Today was also the first time his heart was broken; normally he was the one who was called a heartbreaker and left behind the people he was with devastated. And now he found himself crying over someone's rejection.

Suddenly, Newkirk felt an arm around his shoulder and he quickly looked up. He was greeted by a worried looking LeBeau. " _Mon ami_ , what happened? You left the barracks in such a hurry"

Newkirk wiped away the tears on his cheek and answered, "Nothin's wrong"

LeBeau pulled out a handkerchief and gave it to Newkirk. "And why are you crying if nothing happened?" He gave him a soft smile. "You know you can trust me. Has it something to do with Jout?"

Newkirk swiftly looked away at the mention of Jout's name as he felt tears filling his eyes again. LeBeau noticed this too and started to pat his companion's shoulder. "Pierre, what happened? I'm worried about you"

Newkirk slowly looked up from the ground and said, "We did it last night while you guys were gone"

"You two did what?" asked LeBeau, not understanding to what his friend alluded to.

"We did **it** , Louis" He turned his head to face LeBeau and whispered, "We slept with each other"

"Oh," was all LeBeau said. Then he asked, "And why are you crying then? Isn't that something you wanted?"

"Yeah, but not what 'appened afterwards" Newkirk faced the barbed wire again. "Immediately when we were finished, 'e said it was an one-off and quickly left the gov'nor's room. And today after breakfast I went in the tunnel to talk to 'im. Ya know what 'e said? 'e said what we did was nothin'. Nothin'! And that 'e would marry a girl after the war" Newkirk started weeping again. All LeBeau could do was hold his friend tightly. "But for me it was not nothin'! I loved every minute of it, and I thought 'e would too because of the way 'e acted and kissed back. But obviously I was wrong"

"Oh, Pierre," LeBeau said, stroking his upper arm. "I'm so sorry for you"

"Ya know what the worst thin' is? Before we did it, I 'ad at least me fantasies about our future together, though I knew they would never become reality. But now I don't even 'ave them anymore"

"But is it not better this way? At least you know now where you are with him, and you can stop making yourself false hopes"

"But me false 'opes got me at least through the nights and days. Now I 'ave nothin' anymore to get me through this bleedin' war," sighed Newkirk.

"You know that's not true, Pierre," LeBeau tried to comfort him. "You have your mother and sister who are waiting for you to come home. Think of them, and when the war is over, I'm sure you'll find someone who loves you just as much as you do"

Newkirk simply stared at the barbed wire fence and LeBeau continued to hold him close. The two friends spend the rest of the afternoon sitting together in silence, each one rapped up in his thoughts.

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry if Newkirk seems a little OOC to you, but to be honest, my whole story is not canon, so I hope you will forgive me :)**


	26. Chapter 26

_One week later…_

Jout stepped out of the Rec Hall and was immediately greeted by the chilly October air, which made him turn up his collar. He slowly walked across the compound, making his way towards his barracks. Normally, he was avoiding the barracks since the incident with Newkirk one week ago, spending most of his time with Embrey and Ashton again. Since his encounter with the Brit, the situation between them was more than awkward with Newkirk not talking to him unless it was absolutely necessary and related to some mission. Jout couldn't blame him, after everything he said and did to him, he knew that he had hurt Newkirk, and if he had been in his position, Jout would do the same.

But still, it was hard for him to be confronted with indifference rather than hatred, because Newkirk hating him would mean that he still felt something for him, even if it was only loathing. However, the problem was that with this tensed situation between them, Jout always felt completely uncomfortable being near Newkirk, especially in the barracks, because he had the feeling that he was suffocating when he was with the Brit inside a room. Therefore, Jout tried to be as far away from him as possible, and from LeBeau too. For some reason, LeBeau always glared at him and barely talked to him either since that hurtful day. Jout concluded that Newkirk must have told LeBeau what happened, which led him to believe that at least LeBeau knew about and accepted Newkirk's preference. Under any other circumstance, Jout would be glad to know that someone accepted the likes of them; however, LeBeau hating him meant that he knew that Jout had slept with a man. And that also meant additional risk in his troubled situation with Brawley.

Jout shivered, not only because of the cold weather. Only two weeks remained to decided how to handle Brawley's blackmailing. Two weeks in which he had to decide whether to betray his brother and friends or to do nothing, which would mean his death. And with everything that had happened the last week, Jout was almost certain to let Brawley spill his secret to the Germans. The last weeks, especially the last one, tired him out and left him sad and unhappy with his life. He had the feeling that there was nothing left worth living for anymore. However, whenever Jout thought like that, his mind always drifted back to Tommy and Ann, who were waiting for him back in England and hoped to see him again soon. And this trail of thought made him tend to help Brawley and his friends escape, because of his responsibility towards his chosen family.

He sighed as he reached his barracks, seeing that most of the occupants were outside and played soccer. The only good that had arisen from his incident with Newkirk was that his friends had stopped following him. Maybe Newkirk convinced his brother that it was unnecessary because Brawley had avoided him for the last two weeks, so that he didn't have to be close to Jout anymore. Whatever it was, Jout was left alone for one week now, something that should make him happy, but only added to his misery because he could not spend time with Newkirk anymore. When Carter spotted him, he asked Jout if he wanted to join, but he denied the offer and quietly entered the barracks. He was not in the mood for any playful activities, and simply wanted to lie in his bunk to think about the mess he was in. Jout closed the door and was happy to see the barracks empty as he went over to his bunk. But the sudden "Bollocks!" he heard from the top bunk near the door caused Jout's heart nearly to stop beating. He turned his head towards where the curse had come from and he spotted Newkirk lying on his stomach, looking annoyed at his pencil as he pulled out his pencil sharpener. Apparently, Newkirk's pencil broke again while he was writing a letter, something that had happened quite regular the last few days and always made the Brit curse.

"Jesus Christ, Newkirk! You almost gave me a heart attack," exclaimed Jout while he continued to walk towards his bunk.

As usual, he received no answer and Jout reminded himself that Newkirk was not talking to him anymore. So Jout climbed in his bunk in silence and turned on his left side, his back facing the only other person in the room. But instead of thinking about Brawley and the blackmailing, his mind only circled around Newkirk. Jout sighed and after one hour of unsuccessful attempts to make himself thinking about Brawley, he gave up and closed his eyes for a nap, slowly drifting off to darkness.

* * *

Later that afternoon, Jout sat on his bunk and read his poetry book, while the rest of his friends played cards. Again, Carter had asked him if he wanted to join the game, but Jout politely denied since he didn't want to bother Newkirk with his presence at one of the few things that made the Brit still smiling. The barracks was quiet except for the occasional annoyed remarks Newkirk often directed at Carter when the young sergeant thought too long for Newkirk's liking.

The nattering was interrupted when the hidden tunnel entrance opened, and Kinch asked, "Where's the Colonel?"

LeBeau looked up from his cards and answered, "In his office. Why?"

But Kinch was already walking to Hogan's room and did not reply to LeBeau. He only knocked on the door and waited for Hogan to call him in. In the meantime, Jout climbed down from his bunk and the other men rose from the table, all following the radio man into the adjoining room.

They entered the room just in time to hear Kinch saying, "Colonel, message from London"

Hogan turned his attention away from the papers on his desk and to Kinch. "What is it?"

"London has scheduled the dropping of a package full of German _Reichsmark_ for an Underground unit tonight at 2300 hours. However, no one of this unit can come to the drop point because the Gestapo is on their heels right now, and they need to fall back and stay low for a few days. And now London wants us to go out and pick up the package for them and wait until they contact us"

"Alright. Newkirk, you will go out," Hogan said. Then he looked at his younger brother and said, "And you will go with him, Josh. Wilson cleared you today. That's the right mission to get back on the playing field"

Jout gulped and simply stared at Hogan. Of course he was happy that he could participate in an outside mission again, but with Newkirk? Alone? That was probably not the wisest decision right now, however, he could not tell his brother why he didn't want to go out with Newkirk.

Before he managed to say something, he heard Newkirk saying, "Alright, gov'nor"

The group left Hogan's office and went back to what they were doing, only that Jout was a lot more nervous than before.

* * *

 _At 2300 hours…_

Jout sneaked through the woods with Newkirk behind him, the whole time looking out for any unwanted company. All the while Jout's heart was beating rapidly, and it had nothing to do with this being his first outside mission since his fight with Brawley about six weeks ago. No, the reason he was jumpy was a certain British corporal who refused to talk to him, even when they were in the tunnel preparing for the mission. Jout shook his head, trying to get rid of thoughts about Newkirk and tried to concentrate on the mission. It was vital for that Underground unit that they picked up the money, and Jout would not disappoint them or his brother, regardless of his personal problems that were completely his own fault.

They reached the drop point and Jout motioned for Newkirk to crouch. He looked to the sky and waited for the signals coming from the plane with the money while Newkirk looked out for a German patrol. After what felt like an eternity, which were probably only two minutes, the awaited signals appeared at the sky and Jout responded with his flashlight. A package on a parachute was thrown out the plane and quickly made its way down to earth.

Jout turned his head to Newkirk and asked, "Is everything clear?"

At least now Newkirk decided to talk with him and answered, "Yes. No Germans in sight"

Jout looked around one last time and then made his way over to the package lying on the ground. He took his knife from his pocket and cut the ropes, removing the parachute from the package and handed the white silk cloth over to Newkirk. "Here, hide the parachute. A German patrol probably saw the drop and is already on its way. Better they don't find any prove for it"

Newkirk didn't answer, but did as told. When he was finished, Jout motioned for him to follow him back to camp; however, he stopped in his tracks as he heard a voice yelling from a distance, _"Halt!"_.

Suddenly, Jout heard a gun shooting and without thinking, he threw himself on Newkirk, pushing them through bushes into the undergrowth. He remained lying down on Newkirk, pressing his body on his to make them as small as possible and hoped that the German patrol won't find them.

"What the bleedin' 'ell are ya doin'?" hissed Newkirk under his breath. "We 'ave to go"

"He's too close," whispered Jout. "If we run away, he will surely spot us"

"And stayin' 'ere –"

Newkirk was silenced by Jout's hand pressing on his mouth, and he felt Jout's shaky breath by his ear as the American said, "We're staying here, and that's an order"

Newkirk remained still, Jout's hand lingering on his mouth as he heard his heart beating in his ears. He could not understand why Jout wanted to stay here, since the German soldiers would surely start searching here where he spotted them. But the other man was lying on him, pinning him down with no way to move. So he simply stared at the sky and prayed for a miracle to happen. A few seconds later, the German soldier arrived at the drop point, only a few feet away from them. Newkirk heard another pair of footsteps approaching and felt how his heart started to beat even faster than before, though he was sure that this was not possible.

" _Warum hast du geschossen?"_ Newkirk heard a voice asking, probably belonging to the approaching footsteps. ["Why have you used your gun?"]

" _Ich habe jemanden flüstern gehört, auf Englisch,"_ answered a much younger sounding voice. [„I have heard someone whispering, in English"]

„ _In Ordnung, dann lass uns die Umgebung absuchen,"_ ordered the other voice. [„Alright, let's search the area"]

Even though Newkirk did not understand German, he knew very well what the two Germans where about to do. He heard them walking around, searching for them. Then he heard how one of the soldiers came closer to where he and Jout were hiding, and Newkirk held his breath. He knew what he signed up to when he had joined Hogan's team, but Newkirk did not want his life to end now. All he wanted was to go back home to his mother and sister one day and pick up where he left off. But with every step the German took, this wish moved further and further away from being put in practise. He felt Jout shifting on top of him and then he looked into those chocolate brown eyes he fell in love with and had not been able to face in the last week. Jout removed his hand from his mouth and grabbed a nearby stone. He propped himself up a little on his left hand and looked around, seeing that one of the Germans was almost behind them. Jout turned his head back to Newkirk, and then he threw the stone with all the strength he had without giving their position away. It hit a tree about ten feet away from them, which made the two Germans stop in their tracks. Jout locked eyes with Newkirk as a tormenting silence fell over the woods. It seemed as even the animals held their breaths. And then he heard the patrol running in the direction Jout had thrown the stone while he didn't stop to stare into Jout's eyes, the warm shade of brown calming him down.

When Jout was sure that they were out of danger, he said, "I think we should go now" But he did not move one inch and just continued to stare into Newkirk's grey-green eyes, the moonlight making them twinkle.

"Yes, we should," answered Newkirk, but he did not make one move to leave either.

In hindsight, Jout had no idea what caused his next action. Maybe it was the adrenaline in his body, maybe it was the seductive glance in Newkirk's eyes combined with the fact he lay on the Brit, but whatever it was, it pulled him closer to Newkirk. Jout lowered his head and placed his lips softly on Newkirk's, completely forgetting where he was and what had happened one week ago. It didn't matter to him now; didn't matter that he had broken Newkirk's heart by saying they could not be together. Newkirk was caught off guard, but quickly regained his senses and began to kiss him back, he too forgetting the pain he felt since last week. All that mattered to him was savouring the feeling of Jout's lips on his. Jout probed his mouth open and ran his tongue all around Newkirk's mouth which tasted like tobacco from all those cigarettes he always smoked. But he didn't mind, since it was Newkirk he kissed, and those soft lips of his compensated for that.

They would have probably kissed much longer if it was not for Newkirk who drove his hands down Jout's arms, which made the American back off from his mouth and wince, exclaiming a quiet, "Ouch!"

Newkirk immediately stopped his movement and felt a warm stickiness on his left fingers. He made his thumb touch his fingers as he moved his hand closer to where he could see it and froze when he saw his fingers covered in red.

"Ya're shot?" It was more of a statement than a question. Alarmed by his observation, he pushed Jout back and sat up, never loosen the grip he had on the American's shoulders.

Jout touched his right arm to feel blood soaking his black shirt. "Don't worry about it. The bullet only grazed my arm. It barely hurts" He started smiling, but it quickly faded when he realized what he had done a few minutes ago with the Brit.

Newkirk did not notice this because he was too busy standing up and pulling Jout with him. "Let's get movin'. Maybe the adrenaline in yer body covers up a more dangerous wound. 'ave ya got the package?"

Jout knelt down and picked up the package that lay on the ground next to his right foot. He held it up and showed it to him, which made Newkirk nod. He took a hold of Jout's right hand and pulled him with him as he sneaked back to camp, never letting go of the American's hand.

* * *

They made it back to camp without another incident, and when they reached the tree stump, Newkirk climbed in first to assist Jout. As they reached the ground, Newkirk placed a hand on Jout's back and gently pushed him into the radio room.

When he spotted Hogan he immediately exclaimed, "We need a medic, Sir! Jout's been shot"

LeBeau jumped off his stool and ran through the tunnel leading to Sergeant Wilson's barracks while Hogan moved closer to his younger brother and led him with Newkirk to a nearby cot. "What happened?"

"A German patrol spotted us and opened fire. We were able to 'ide and waited until they left the scene to search for us" He withheld Jout pushing him out of the line of fire, Jout lying on top of him, and Jout kissing him. That was too much for him to understand at the moment and definitely not needed to answer Hogan's question.

Hogan was about to push Jout down onto the cot when Jout raised his hands. "Don't worry, Rob. It's only a graze wound. Nothing serious"

"I don't care if it's only a graze wound. You will lie down and wait for Wilson to check you" He succeeded in making his younger brother lie down and said, "Your wounds from your encounter with Brawley just healed and you go out and get yourself shot. You really like pain, do you?"

"Well, I didn't ask to be shot," answered Jout as he closed his eyes and groaned. The adrenaline in his body wore off and the bullet wound started to make itself noticeable.

Hogan turned his attention to Newkirk who stood by Jout's head and looked down on him, concern showing in the Brit's face. "Were you able to pick up the package?"

Newkirk removed it from under his shirt and handed it to Hogan. The Colonel glanced at Jout and ordered, "Newkirk, you stay with him. Make sure he lets Wilson treat him"

"Will do, gov'nor," said Newkirk and Hogan went to Kinch to radio London.

Jout groaned again as the pain started to intensify and Newkirk lowered his head. Though he had despised the man in front of him for the last week, he now was incredible concerned for Jout's health. So he pushed the anger he still felt and the confusion over why Jout had kissed him aside for the moment, and concentrated completely on comforting Jout.

"Wilson will be 'ere in a blink of an eye and will 'elp ya. Don't worry, everythin' will be fine," he whispered into Jout's ear.

The medic arrived exactly in that moment and went immediately over to the cot with the squirming man on it and said to Newkirk, "LeBeau told he'd been shot. Where?"

"The right upper arm"

"Alright, help me remove his shirt," Wilson said.

Newkirk grabbed Jout's shoulders from behind and pushed him into a sitting position, holding him up while Wilson removed the black shirt which fabric was already soaked with his blood. He laid him back down and watched patiently as Wilson stitched Jout up and bandaged the arm. Every time Jout winced he would whisper encouraging words into his ear, calming him down. A few minutes later, Wilson announced that he was finished and told Jout that his arm would probably be sore for a few days and that he just needed to be careful. Then he left and reported to Hogan while Newkirk helped Jout to sit up. As he stood up from the cot a feeling of dizziness came over him, making his knees buckle. Newkirk grabbed Jout and prevented him from falling.

He slid his arm around the other man's waist and said, "Easy, Jout. Just lean against me"

Jout put his head on Newkirk's shoulder as the Brit helped him to walk across the radio room towards Hogan.

"Go get some sleep," Hogan ordered. "Both of you"

Newkirk helped Jout climbing up the ladder and when they reached the barracks, Newkirk assisted Jout with putting on his pyjamas and climbing up into his bunk. When he made it into his bunk, Jout said a quick "Thank you", then he lay down on his left side to avoid Newkirk's worried look. As the excitement of being shot faded, the realization of what he had done in the woods sunk in. He had kissed Newkirk! Just as he thought he had Newkirk out of the crossfire, he put him right in again.

Jout had messed it up. Big-time. And this time, he would not make Newkirk believe so easily that he felt nothing for him.


	27. Chapter 27

The next morning, after a restless night because of his stinging wound, Jout sat on a bench outside barracks 2 and absently stared into space. He desperately tried to think of what to say to Newkirk when he asked him about the kiss. Jout didn't even know why he had kissed him in that moment. But as he lay on top of Newkirk, feeling his heart beating against his chest, his eyes sparkling in the moonlight, Jout had been drawn to Newkirk's lips and he had needed to taste them. He shook his head, anger rising in him about his own stupidity and recklessness. Was it not enough that he had already broken Newkirk's heart? Now he had to go through that again, but he knew it would not be easy. After all, Jout was the one who kissed him first, and Newkirk would surely not believe his shabby excuse that he thought two men should not be involved with each other. Jout closed his eyes and sighed. Instead of finding a way out of the mess he was in, he was getting himself even deeper in trouble.

His closed eyes prevented Jout from noticing that another person was approaching him. He only realized he was not alone when someone plopped down beside him and asked, " 'ow's yer arm?"

Jout did not need to open his eyes to know who sat beside him. The cockney accent was unmistakeable. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the sight of Newkirk, who lit up a cigarette. "Burns like hell"

"Well, 'at's yer reward for throwin' yerself in the line of fire" Newkirk smirked. "By the way, thanks for 'at"

"No problem," said Jout. He did not like what was going on. Newkirk speaking to him again meant that he probably wanted to talk about the kiss. And he was not prepared to answer this question.

Neither said something for a few minutes, and then it was Newkirk who broke the silence. "I think we ought to talk"

Not wanting to talk, Jout hurried to his feet and mumbled, "I have to go"

He took a step forward when Newkirk clutched his arm to prevent him from leaving. "Please, don't go. We 'ave to talk about it"

Jout broke free from his grasp and ran away from Newkirk. He knew that he could not avoid him forever; not with living in the same barracks in a POW camp, but he just had to get away from him for now until he had thought of something. Jout walked around the compound for about two hours, trying to clear his head. None the wiser, he decided to head back to his barracks. When he passed the Rec Hall, he stopped in his tracks when he heard someone calling for him. Jout turned around and saw Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach sprinting over to him. He turned around again and continued to walk towards barracks 2 as Brawley caught up with him and threw his arm around Jout's shoulders. The pain in his arm promptly intensified, but Jout ignored it.

"Hey, Hogan! How are you doing?" asked Brawley in an overly cheerful voice while Fanbrick positioned himself on Jout's right side and Leach walked next to Brawley on his left.

"Fine until you three showed up"

Brawley began to laugh and squeezed his arm, making the pain in his arm worse. "Very funny! You should quit the Air Force and become a comedian after the war"

Jout stopped in the middle of the compound, in between Klink's office and his barracks. Out of the corner of his eye he could see his brother and friends sitting by the barracks' door, watching him and Brawley closely. "Alright, Brawley, what do you want?"

Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach now stood right in front of him. Brawley cracked his knuckles and said, "Just wanted to check if you already made a decision"

In that moment, Jout made a decision. "I will never help you escape. This is the right place for criminals like you"

Brawley gave a false laugh. "Who do you call a criminal? Certainly not me"

"After what you did to George? Of course you're a criminal!"

"How many times do I have to tell you, Hogan? George wanted it. It's not my fault he decided to blow his head off," Brawley snorted. "But who cares? Someone who kills himself is definitely not a loss to the Air Force"

Again, Jout did not know what came over him. But the next thing he knew was that he punched Brawley on the nose and followed him to the ground to finish him off. Shouting began and moments later he felt how someone grabbed him from behind and dragged him off from Brawley. It was Newkirk who tried to hold him back while Fanbrick and Leach helped Brawley up.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked Hogan angrily.

But Jout did not intend to answer his question. He tried to push Newkirk away and screamed, "This son of a bitch doesn't deserve any better!"

Newkirk had to use all his strength to stop Jout from going after Brawley again. "Stop it, Jout! What's got into ya?"

"He's gone crazy!" exclaimed Brawley as he wiped the blood from his nose. "He attacked me out of the blue. I simply asked how he was feeling"

"Liar!" Jout yelled as he tried to free himself from Newkirk's grasp. "Let me go, Newkirk! I should have killed this bastard when I had the chance!"

"Colonel Hogan!" exclaimed another voice. Jout stopped struggling and saw how Klink approached the scene. "What is going on here?"

Hogan looked at his younger brother, then at Brawley. "Lieutenant Hogan and Sergeant Brawley had another fight, Sir. But nothing that we can't solve on our own"

"Fight? He attacked me for no reason!" Brawley interjected.

Jout leaped forward to get to him, but Newkirk succeeded in holding him back.

"Silence!" exclaimed Klink. He turned to Schultz who had stood beside him the whole time. "Sergeant Schultz, bring Lieutenant Hogan to the cooler. Seven days in solitary confinement"

"One week?" asked Brawley in disbelief. "The last time my friends and I got thirty days!"

"He is an officer, after all. And when you attacked him, Lieutenant Hogan was not able to walk on his own. But except for your nose, you seem to be in prime condition, Sergeant. Dismissed!"

Klink left the scene and hurried back into his office. While Brawley and his friends left the scene, Schultz went over to Jout to lead him to the cooler. Jout glanced to his brother one last time and then followed Schultz to the place he would spend his time the next seven days. As Schultz closed the door behind him, Jout looked around the small room. It had no window, and the only source of light was a lightbulb hanging from the ceiling. There was also a cot on the right side of the room and a bucket in the corner on the left side. He lay down on the cot and put his hands over his face. He could not believe that he had pitched a fit and tried to beat up Brawley. Even though he deserved it, Jout had never before attacked another person. That was not him; he was always calm and reasonable. He was the one who settled fights, not the one who started fights.

Jout still had his eyes with his hands covered when he heard a scraping sound from across the room. He removed his hands and turned his head to see his brother crawling into the cell. Apparently, Klink had not allowed Hogan to visit him and so he used the tunnel connection to the cooler. Jout turned his head again and stared at the ceiling, not saying a word to Hogan.

Hogan brushed off the dust from his pants and glared at his younger brother. "Care to explain what that was about?"

"Not really"

"You know, Josh. I've had it with you. First, you are beaten up pretty bad by Brawley. Then you lie to me about the real reason. And don't try to tell me it was about his blackmailing, I know it wasn't. Next, I find him pushing you against a wall, and again, you lie to me about the reason for it. And now I have to witness how you snap and bash him" During his explanation, Hogan began to pace back and forth. "Why don't you want to tell me what the problem between you and Brawley is?"

"That's none of your business," Jout said, his eyes never leaving the ceiling.

"Damn it, Josh!" Hogan exclaimed. "I'm your brother, and the Senior POW in this camp. Of course it's my business if someone hurts you"

Jout sat up and now he glared at Hogan. "Oh, well, you had no problem with me being hurt by our father. So why don't you just leave me alone and go back to playing hero for the world. I'm capable of dealing with my problems on my own"

He lay back down and closed his eyes, hoping his brother would get the message and leave him alone. Hogan stared at him for a moment as he tried to digest what just happened. Crestfallen that Jout had obviously not forgiven him for what had happened thirteen years ago, Hogan crawled back into the tunnel and closed the entrance. Without saying a word to his men, Hogan went into his quarters and slammed the door shut, only leaving it for evening roll call.

* * *

 _Two days later…_

Jout lay on the cot, trying to keep himself warm by pulling his jacket tight around his body and rubbing his hands against each other. Now he knew why the others called this place "the cooler"; it was freezing in here. And his shabby jacket did not help protecting his body against the cold. He wished he had Newkirk's greatcoat with him since it was thicker and not as worn out as his own jacket. To be honest, if Newkirk's presence did not mean to talk about the kiss in the woods, he would wish for Newkirk to be with him to curl up with and share body heat. That was the only reason why he was actually glad to be in the cooler. In here, he was able to avoid Newkirk and with that he was also able to think about his problems without any distractions. Only Carter would come two times a day through the tunnel to bring him food that LeBeau made, which he was immensely glad about. If you thought the food in the mess hall was disgusting, you have never seen or smelled the "food" that the guards bring one in the cooler. However, Jout was surprised that LeBeau was cooking for him because the Frenchman always glared at him and did not speak to him too since his encounter with Newkirk. But Hogan had probably ordered LeBeau to provide him with some decent food.

He turned his head when he heard the familiar scraping from the wall across the room. Jout looked at his watch and saw that it was already time for dinner. With no window and only the unvarying orange light of the lightbulb that went on at six o'clock in the morning and went out at nine o'clock in the evening, Jout had lost his track of time. He was only glad he had a watch so that he was not completely oblivious to what time it was. That he had nothing else with him, for example a deck of cards like Newkirk, was not helping to pass the time.

The stone which hid the tunnel entrance was moved away and a tray was placed into the cell. Next, instead of Carter's flight jacket, Jout watched how Newkirk's blue jacket appeared and his heart sank to his boots. That was not good. The place which kept him safe from Newkirk now turned into a trap since Jout had nowhere to go. He desperately hoped that Newkirk had not came to talk with him about the recent events, but Jout knew that Newkirk also knew that this was the perfect opportunity for him to get answers. Jout closed his eyes and took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself for whatever was coming next, and then he sat up on his cot and watched how Newkirk stood up once he was in the cell.

"Room service!" announced Newkirk and handed Jout the tray.

"Thanks," replied Jout and started picking at his food. "Is Carter busy?"

Newkirk leant against the cell wall and put his hands in his pockets. " 'as to make explosives. A munitions train 'eading to the Eastern front need to be blown up tonight"

"Then good luck," said Jout without looking up from his food.

"Thanks," answered Newkirk. There was a brief silence, and then Newkirk said, "Since ya can't run away from me now, why don't we use the opportunity to talk?"

Jout stopped picking at his food for a moment only to continue seconds later. "Well, what do you want to talk about?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Newkirk. "Why don't ya start with explainin' why ya turned me down last week. And don't start with "two guys should not be involved with each other" again. Yer kiss in the woods tells another story"

Jout remained silent, not knowing how to answer Newkirk's question.

"Or is this some kind of sick joke ya like to play on other people? Sleepin' with men, only to break their hearts and then get their 'opes 'igh again? Is this funny to ya?" Newkirk ranted, sounding completely embittered.

Jout looked up from the tray and glared at Newkirk. "Of course not! What do you think I am, a monster?" Jout glanced to the ground. "You don't understand!"

"Then make me understand!" pleaded Newkirk. "If I'm simply not yer type, why don't ya just tell me so?" He moved closer to Jout and knelt down in front of him, taking his hands in his own. "Or are ya afraid of the consequences? I know it would be 'ard keep it secret to the others since we're in a ruddy POW camp, but we are spies. We're used to lyin' to get what we want"

Jout freed himself from Newkirk's grasp and walked over to the iron door. "Damn it, Peter! Don't you see that I try to protect you!"

"From what?" Newkirk asked as he stood up.

Jout looked at his watch. "You should go now. Change of guards is in two minutes, and I think it would be best for our little set-up if the new guard doesn't find you in here"

"Please, Jout, tell me! From what do ya try to protect me?" Newkirk made no move to leave the cell.

"You have to go now," Jout said as he walked over to the cot. He handed Newkirk the tray and pushed him towards the tunnel entrance. "And please tell LeBeau my thanks"

Newkirk realized he would not get Jout to talk with him right now, and he knew that he had to get out of the cell because of the change of guards. Though he was confused by Jout's words, Newkirk was determined to find out the truth about the American's strange behaviour.

* * *

 _Three days later…_

Hogan sat in his office and filled out papers for Klink when he heard someone knocking on the door. He called the person in and saw how his men and someone he was not familiar with entered his room.

"Gov'nor, we found someone who was in the same squadron as Jout," said Newkirk, pointing to the unfamiliar face. "One of the new prisoners who arrived today"

The stranger saluted. "Sergeant Jack O'Neal, Sir. US Army Air Force"

"At ease, Sergeant," said Hogan. He motioned for O'Neal to sit down on the bottom bunk as the others settled themselves around the bunk bed. "So, you were part of the No. 121 Eagle Squadron RAF?"

"Yes, Sir. Until it was disbanded in September 1942. Then it became part of the US Army Air Force as the 335th Fighter Squadron. Why do you want to know, Sir?"

"Well, four former members of your squadron are here too, and they have a – let's say – small dispute. Since no one talks, we hoped you could enlighten us, Sergeant O'Neal," explained Hogan.

O'Neal's expression turned from curious to slightly frightened. But he quickly controlled himself again and asked, "Uhm, well…I can try, Sir. Who is this about?"

"Lieutenant Joshua Hogan and the Sergeants Paul Brawley, Earl Fanbrick, and Joe Leach" At the mention of Brawley's name, O'Neal tensed up and looked intimidated. Hogan noticed this and said, "We already know about the blackmailing, Sergeant. But we are more interested to know if you noticed something else going on between them"

O'Neal looked around the room and saw how the men who brought him to the Colonel watched him closely. A feeling of unease washed through his body and he began to nervously play with his hands. "I don't...well, the thing is…I would rather not say anything, Sir"

Hogan sighed. Something horrible must have happened if no one dared to speak to him. "Listen, Sergeant O'Neal. If you are afraid of Sergeant Brawley and his friends, I can assure you they will not find out that you talked to us. But you have to understand that it's utterly important for me to know if anything happened between them"

"It's not Brawley I'm afraid of, Sir," O'Neal answered, still looking very anxious. "Well, not anymore" He glanced to the ground and said in a small voice, "But if I say anything to you, Sir, I will be court-martialled"

Hogan made eye contact with his men, not believing what he just heard. He was greeted with the same disbelieving expression. Hogan turned his attention back to the Sergeant in front of him. "Why should you be court-martialled, Sergeant? Is it because of Lieutenant General Fanbrick?"

O'Neal put his head in his hands. "Please, Sir, you have to believe me, I would talk to you if I could. But I can't!"

LeBeau, who sat on the bunk bed too, wrapped an arm around O'Neal's shoulders and said, "Don't worry, _mon ami_ , Colonel Hogan would never allow that. You can trust him; you can trust all of us"

"I promise you, nothing will leave this room. Not a single word. My men and I would never risk your life, but I need to know if anything happened in your squadron that caused Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach to beat up Lieutenant Hogan," Hogan said.

O'Neal tilted up his head and looked Hogan in the eyes. "And you're sure that no one will find out about this?" Hogan nodded, and O'Neal sighed. "The only thing I can think of happened in the night before Lieutenant Hogan asked for a transfer. I can't give you any specific details because I was not there, but a friend of mine was, Sergeant Goodwin, and he told me about it. He was on sentry duty that night when Lieutenant Hogan approached him and asked if he had seen Sergeant George Kisro. Since Airman Dupont's death, the Lieutenant and Kisro were very close friends. Goodwin told him that he had last seen Kisro in the workshop. Lieutenant Hogan walked over to it and a few minutes later, Goodwin heard shouting coming from the workshop. He saw Kisro leaving the workshop and asked if everything was alright, but Kisro only snapped at him. He thought nothing of it because Kisro was quick-tempered. Then he heard another round of shouting, and next came Lieutenant Hogan out who asked him again if he had seen Kisro. Goodwin told Lieutenant Hogan that Kisro had ran in the direction of the armoury and the Lieutenant sprinted in that direction. A couple seconds later he also saw Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach leaving the workshop, laughing. It was quiet for a few minutes, and then he heard a gunshot. Goodwin followed the sound to the armoury and when he entered it, he saw Lieutenant Hogan crouching over Kisro who lay on the ground with a gun in his hand and blood coming from his head"

"Blimey!" exclaimed Newkirk.

"Wait, you mean Sergeant Kisro committed suicide in front of Lieutenant Hogan?" asked Hogan perplexed.

O'Neal merely nodded, a sad expression on his face. "I can't tell you much more because Goodwin got a shock and didn't remember anything that happened after he found Kisro lying in his own blood. The next day, Lieutenant Hogan asked for a transfer and left the squadron three days later"

"And why would you be court-martialled for telling me that?"

"I don't know" O'Neal shrugged. "When I came back from my weekend leave, Goodwin told me that Group Captain Preston ordered them to act as if nothing happened and to never mention Kisro's death to anybody, or else we would be court-martialled. Goodwin said they got the order shortly after Group Captain Preston got a visit from Lieutenant General Fanbrick"

Hogan slowly nodded. "Thank you for telling me, Sergeant. You can be sure that no one will learn about our talk"

"Can I go now, Sir?" asked O'Neal.

"Sure," said Hogan. After he left the room, Hogan turned to his men who all started to talk across each other. "Hold it, hold it!"

"Blimey, gov'nor! Ya think Brawley and 'is friends got anythin' to do with the suicide of Sergeant Kisro?"

"And why would Group Captain Preston give such a strange order?" asked Carter.

"I don't know. The only way to find out is to confront Josh when he's released from the cooler," announced Hogan.

The others left his quarters and Hogan sat down on his desk again. He thought about what Sergeant O'Neal had told him, and even though he did not know exactly what had happened that night yet, he was sure that whatever happened in that workshop frightened Jout enough to not open up to him.


	28. Chapter 28

_Two days later…_

Jout sat on the cot and waited for the change of guards which would mean finally being released from the cooler. After seven days of being in a cold cell without any contact to other people (besides Carter coming two times a day with his food and sometimes talking to Langenscheidt), the prospect of simply being able to walk across the compound, even though it was surrounded by barbed wire, felt like freedom. Suddenly, Jout heard a key turning in the iron door and he jumped up from the cot.

He was greeted by Corporal Langenscheidt, his second-favourite guard after Schultz, who said, "Time to leave this place, Lieutenant Hogan"

"Thank God for that!" exclaimed Jout as he walked past Langenscheidt. "I was going stir-crazy in there"

"Then don't be involved in any more fights, Lieutenant Hogan. I don't want to see you in here again, _ja_?" said Langenscheidt while they were walking out of the building.

Jout laughed. "Don't worry, Langenscheidt, you won't. But thanks for keeping me company and talking with me in there. You really made my stay endurable"

Langenscheidt smiled sheepishly. "No need to thank me, Lieutenant Hogan. But I do want to thank you for your advices on _Fräulein_ Hilda" Before they stepped out of the building, Langenscheidt turned to Jout. "But please don't say anything about me talking about private things with you. If word comes out that I fraternise with a prisoner…"

"Again, don't worry. I would never put you in danger," Jout said.

Langenscheidt smiled and led Jout of the building where he was greeted by Hogan waiting for him. Jout walked over to him and Hogan asked, "Well, how do you like the cooler?"

The two brothers began to stroll back to their barracks. "I wouldn't recommend it, but there are worse places to be. I had long and interesting conversations with Langenscheidt to pass the time," Jout said. "By the way, you should look out for him. He asked me for my advice on how to make a move on _Fräulein_ Hilda"

"Well, that's something I definitely don't have to worry about," answered Hogan.

"Why? Because you're an officer?"

Hogan grinned mischievously. "You've got it, little brother"

They quickly made their way across the compound, and when Jout entered the barracks, he was greeted with the sight of an empty barracks except for Carter, Newkirk, and LeBeau who sat at the main table and Kinch who poured himself a cup of coffee by the stove.

"Hey, guys!" greeted Jout. "Did you miss me?"

"Sure," said Carter. "The week was really boring because no one wanted to listen to my stories"

"Well, you've got me back now, Carter"

Jout went to his footlocker to retrieve his shaving kit. But he stopped when he noticed how everyone was watching him. He turned his head to his friends and saw Kinch lingering in front of the door. Hogan had settled himself at the head of the table by the stove, looking as if he was thinking of something, and Carter somehow seemed nervous as he was playing with his hands. He knew that something was wrong when he noticed that LeBeau did not glare at him.

Jout closed his footlocker again and rose to his feet. "All right, what's wrong?"

"I don't know what you mean," answered Hogan, taking a sip from his cup.

"I'm not blind, Rob," said Jout. "You look as if you try to think of a way to ask something and it seems like Kinch deliberately stands in front of the door to prevent someone to leave the barracks. And I have not seen Carter this nervous since he got the message about his brother being MIA. So, I'm asking again, what's wrong?"

Hogan sighed. "Sit down. I think we should talk"

"About what?" Jout questioned suspiciously as he sat down across from Hogan with Carter on his left side and LeBeau and Newkirk on his right.

"About your situation with Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach"

"There is nothing to talk about," answered Jout sternly. "I already told you, I'm dealing with them on my own"

"Yeah, and we see how amazing that works," replied Hogan. He glanced down to his mug and said, "We know about the night Sergeant Kisro died"

Jout was caught completely by surprise. His heart started to beat faster and sweat was forming on his forehead. His brother must have been bluffing. There was no way he could know about George's death, unless someone from his old squadron had arrived during the week and was willing to risk a court-martial. Jout scanned the room for an opportunity to quickly leave the barracks. He had to get away from this place or else his relationship with all his friends was in danger. But there was no way out. Kinch was blocking the door and his friends would have pinned him down until the tunnel entrance had opened.

Jout glanced back at Hogan and asked, "That should be impossible, Rob. You know that the person who told you about it is risking a court-martial, do you?"

"I know. That's why Sergeant O'Neal was very reluctant to tell us about it. But that's one of the things I would like to know more about"

"Ah, so you don't know everything," concluded Jout. When Hogan nodded, Jout stood up. "Well, then we should keep it that way. He's dead, and talking about his death doesn't bring him back to life"

As he took a step forward to leave, everyone jumped up and everyone except Newkirk blocked his way to the door while Newkirk had quickly positioned himself in front of the tunnel entrance.

"Josh, I don't know what exactly happened between you and Brawley, but I do know that it frightened you enough to not talk with me. And it frightened you enough that you don't want to take action against him even though Brawley is only a sergeant," Hogan explained. "And I won't let you leave this barracks until you tell me why you are so afraid of him"

Jout looked his brother in the eyes and saw the determination in them to get him to talk. When he glanced around the room and his eyes fell on Newkirk, his mind began to think back to the night in Hogan's quarters and how his heart skipped a beat when Newkirk had kissed him. It was the first time since Henri's death that Jout had felt happy and safe in the arms of another man and it was something he never wanted to live without ever again. He sighed and sat down at the desk, his head in his hands.

The others settled back down again and Jout said with his head still in his hands, "It's a long and complicated story"

Hogan smiled. Finally, he had succeeded in getting his brother to talk. "Just take your time. Whatever it is, we won't let you down"

"I'm not so sure about that" Jout looked up at Hogan. "What would you say if I tell you that I killed George?"

Hogan's jaw dropped. "What do you mean, you killed him? I thought he killed himself?"

"Technically, yes. But just because he was the one who pulled the trigger does not meant that I am not responsible for his death"

Hogan looked at his younger brother, confusion spread all over his face. "I think it's best if you start at the beginning"

"Well, I suppose you could say Brawley and his friends trying to blackmail me into giving them half of my pay was the beginning of the end," Jout started explaining. "You already know that I took matters into my own hand since nothing happened through the official channels. I told the enlisted men to not pay them anymore and then I made up reasons to give Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach any kind of additional duty I could think of, which made them furious. Of course I knew that it would not stop them from going on with their blackmailing, but at least it helped a majority of the enlisted men and that was all that mattered. However, I did not really make myself popular among Brawley. But they could not do anything about it since it would have meant to admit to their blackmailing"

"But what has you giving them duty sentences to do with you being responsible for Sergeant Kisro's death?" interjected Hogan.

Jout looked around the room, biting his lip. Now the moment of truth had come. Now he would see how many of his friends he was going to lose. "Nothing. It's simply the reason for Brawley's revenge. The underlying reason of my feud with Brawley is that…" Jout took a deep breath and said, "…I'm gay"

Once again, Jout looked around the room to see the other men's reactions. His brother looked at him, completely shocked, but it looked like he was not revolted by him. For now. Carter seemed a bit more confused but also shocked. LeBeau and Newkirk looked like they were not surprised; they had probably already figured that out. Then Jout's eyes fell on Kinch, and he was greeted with a look of disgust; exactly the kind of reaction he had feared from his brother. He quickly looked away from Kinch and back at Hogan.

"You're gay?" asked Hogan when the wave of initial shock had faded.

Jout nodded. "Yes, and let's put it that way, Brawley and his friends are not really fond of men like me. Especially in the military. For quite some time, Brawley and his friends were only hating me because I prevented them from having more money. But that changed after Henri's death"

"Henri? You mean Pilot Officer Dupont?" Hogan questioned. "You once told us you two had been close friends"

"Well, we were a little more than close friends if you know what I mean," Jout admitted. "After his death, I backed away from the other squadron members and mostly stayed in my room, trying to cope with his death. One day, a young sergeant visited my room, asking how I was doing. It was George, with whom I had not much to do until then. For me, he was only the kid who had a crush on Henri"

"So he was also gay," said Hogan. "And with that a target for Brawley"

"That's right, Rob. Since I knew how he felt for Henri, I told him we could talk anytime if he wanted to. And over the time, George and I became close friends" Seeing the questioning look in Hogan's eyes, Jout added, "There was nothing between us. We were only friends. Brawley noticed that too and one day he, Fanbrick, and Leach approached me and said they knew about me being gay. I was surprised because Henri and I had always tried to keep our relationship a secret, but apparently, we had not been careful enough. I knew about their opinion on homosexuals; they suspected that George was gay and therefore had often called him names. So I told them that I didn't care about any name-calling and that they should go ahead. But Brawley only grinned cheesily and said that he would avenge my interfering with his blackmailing by hurting someone close to me"

"George," concluded Hogan.

"That's right. They started to write insults on his plane and clothing, and many other things I don't want to repeat. I tried to protect George and suggested he should ask for a transfer to get away from them, but he did not want to be seen as a coward. This bullying went on for about five months, gradually getting worse"

Hogan interjected again. "And what happened in the night of his death?"

Jout opened his mouth to talk about one of the worst days in his entire life, but then though better and closed it again. Obviously, his brother already knew some parts of the story. So Jout decided to find out what he already knew so that he only had to fill in the gaps. Not necessary to tear up old wounds more than needed. "What has O'Neal told you? As far as I can remember, he was away on a weekend leave and arrived at the base three days after George's death"

"Not much, only what Sergeant Goodwin had told him. O'Neal said Goodwin went into shock after he had found George," answered Hogan. "O'Neal told us that you searched for George and that Goodwin sent you to the workshop. Then he heard shouting and first George, then you, and after that Brawley and the others came out. Goodwin heard a shot, ran to the armoury and found you crouching over George. O'Neal said that was all Goodwin could remember"

"Well, then I only have to give you the reason for his suicide since you're already aware of the course of the night" Jout put his head in his hands again as he tried to think of how to explain the gruesome reason for George's death. Fortunately, the others did not rush him but gave him as much time as he needed. "The reason I searched for George was because it had been one of the more awful days for him. Brawley had used every chance he got to bully and embarrass him. When I entered the workshop, I was greeted with muffled cries coming from the far end of the hall. I immediately ran towards the cries and behind one of the broken planes I found George" Jout stopped and tried to calm himself down. He would never forget what he had seen in there, and George's cries sometimes haunted him in his dreams. "He was held down by Fanbrick and Leach. And Brawley…was on top of him…with his pants dropped to his knees" Jout had to stop again as his voice failed. He looked up from the table and into Hogan's eyes, who already had a faint idea of what happened. Jout closed his eyes and said, "Brawley had raped George. That's why George killed himself"

The room fell silent. No one dared to speak at Jout's horrible revelation. Newkirk looked to the ground as he tried to control his anger. Sadly, it was not the first time he heard about gay people being raped by someone who hated homosexuals. Luckily for him, up until now he had never found himself in this situation.

When Jout glanced at Hogan again, he was able to see the anger and horror in Hogan's eyes. "And Brawley and the others are still in the Air Force?"

"Of course they are," snorted Jout. "I tried to explain to Group Captain Preston what had happened in the workshop, but he did not believe me and accused me of wanting to damage their and the Air Force's reputation. I should have guessed that Preston would not do anything against Brawley and his friends. After all, Preston himself hated homosexuals too and always protected Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach because of Fanbrick's father"

"Is that why you requested a transfer?"

"Yes, and because of Preston's stupid order of never mentioning George's death. After Lieutenant General Fanbrick's visit, I went to Preston's office and explained to him again what Brawley did. I just could not believe that Fanbrick's father still protected them. I mean, blackmailing is one thing, but rape? However, Preston only said that I had no prove and therefore nothing would happen to them. And then he threatened that if I did not stop with my accusations, he would personally make sure I lose my lieutenant's bars and be demoted to airman. I instantly asked for a transfer and threatened him myself. That's why I was assigned to another squadron already three days later. Besides, I just had to leave this squadron" Jout looked down to the table. "First Henri dies, and then George kills himself because of me"

"Why should you be responsible?" asked Hogan confused. "It seems to me you were the only one who tried to help him"

"But Brawley was only after him because he wanted to take revenge on me!" Jout exclaimed. "If I had insisted on George leaving the squadron, or if I had not done anything against their blackmailing methods in the first place, George would be still alive"

"Josh, you can't blame yourself for the sick and criminal behaviour of someone else. You did everything in your power to stop them. Group Captain Preston and Lieutenant General Fanbrick are the ones to blame, as well as Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach. But not you," Hogan tried to comfort his younger brother. "Is that the reason for your fights with them?"

Jout shook his head. "Only for the second one. Brawley had provoked me with saying George wanted what happened in the workshop and that he was no loss to the Air Force. The first fight occurred because of something totally different" He took a deep breath. Even after revealing his most feared secret, he was still not sure about having done the right thing. "They are blackmailing me. And the beating was intended to "help my decision""

Jout looked at Newkirk when he felt the Brit's hand on his knee underneath the table. Newkirk's eyes were filled with worry for Jout, but he could also feel anger rising in him again. Right now, he would like nothing more than to beat Brawley and his friends black and blue for everything they had done to George and to Jout. Jout gave him a faint smile and Newkirk was surprised when he felt the American's hand holding his.

Hogan could not believe what he heard. But with everything his younger brother had told him, he knew that he had to get rid of Brawley. And he also needed to do something against Group Captain Preston and Lieutenant General Fanbrick. It was unbelievable to him that two officers of the US Army Air Force protected criminals. "You are getting blackmailed?"

Jout nodded. "Yes. Either I help them escape or they tell the Germans that I'm gay. I have one week left to decide"

"And have you already decided what you will do?"

Jout looked to the ground again. He could not look his brother in the eyes while saying he decided to die. Newkirk sensed that Jout had a hard time talking about it and gently squeezed his hand to encourage him. Strengthened by this simple gesture, Jout said, "I let them tell the Germans that I'm gay"

Hogan jumped off from his stool. "Are you crazy, Josh? Do you have the slightest notion of what will happen to you?"

"Of course I have! But I can't help them escape. They don't deserve to be free while others are stuck in this camp"

Hogan began to pace back and forth. "My sentiment exactly, but I won't let you sacrifice yourself" He stopped and looked at Jout. "You know what? We are going to give the Allied High Command enough evidence so that even Lieutenant General Fanbrick can't save his son. And then they will end up were they belong, in a military prison"

"Are you deaf, Rob? Fanbrick's father will protect them no matter what. And I can't just go to the Allied High Command and tell them about it because first, there are no evidence, and second, I will be court-martialled if I do so"

"I know, but we will give them the needed evidence" Hogan put a foot on the stool and propped himself up on his leg. "Say, are you only court-martialled if you talk to people who were not members of your squadron when it happened, or also if you talk, for example, with Brawley?"

"Only to strangers," answered a confused Jout. He had no idea what his brother aimed at with that question.

Hogan began to smile. "Alright, here's what we're going to do"

* * *

 **A/N: I'm sorry if it was too much dialogue. I had intended to write part of Jout's explanation as a flashback, but I felt like it did not quite fit in. It will get more interesting in the following chapters, but this explanation chapter was simply needed for the story.**

 **2nd A/N: I'm also sorry if some of you do not like Kinch's reaction. But I need his negative reaction for a following story line. You will see what I mean in the next chapters.**


	29. Chapter 29

With his leg still on the stool, Hogan explained his plan to get rid of Brawley. "Josh, before you got out of the cooler, Klink had asked to see me. He offered me a work detail for the prisoners on the street to Hammelburg. I told him I would think about it, and now this detail just comes in handy for us. I will tell Klink that the men from barracks 8 are willing to work; with that Brawley and his friends are away from camp for a whole afternoon, which gives us enough time to prepare everything" Hogan looked at Kinch. "Kinch, you will wire up the small room in the barracks so that we can tape what is said in there. After I see Klink, I will meet with Sergeant Pearson, the barracks chief, and tell him that everyone except Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach have to be involved in something outside their barracks the day after tomorrow"

"Hey, Colonel," interrupted Carter. "Maybe we could set up a volleyball game? Barracks 2 against barracks 8. I mean, not every occupant of the barracks is needed and that would be a good excuse, wouldn't it?"

Hogan gave him a consenting smile. "Brilliant idea, Carter" His smile faded as he looked at Jout. "Now we're getting to the tricky part. Josh, before the game, you will see Brawley and tell him you want to talk in Pearson's room later while the game is going on. Then you will meet the three in there and you have to get them to admit to their blackmailing and the rape. Meanwhile, Kinch and I will be in the radio room and we will play the tape by radio to General Barton and Lieutenant General Fanbrick. Since Barton is part of the High Command, I'm sure he will take immediate actions since General Fanbrick won't be able to undermine such evidence. Besides, Barton still owes us one for getting him out of Germany [1]. Then I will make Klink believe that Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach are a threat to his no-escape-record, and therefore, he should send them to another Stalag. When they are brought away from here, we will stop the truck, knock the guards out and bring them back to the camp through our tunnel. We will wait for a submarine, and then they are on their way to a cosy military prison in London. Understood?"

Everyone nodded in agreement, except for Jout. He quickly stood up from his stool and cleared his throat. "Ahem, Rob, I can't…" Jout hesitated to speak. "I can't do that"

Puzzled, Hogan set his foot down to the ground and crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Why?" His eyes narrowed. "What are you keeping from me? I can't help you, Josh, if you don't tell me everything"

Jout looked to the ground. He had kept it a secret on purpose, because it was too embarrassing for him and he feared his friends', especially his brother's, reaction.

Suddenly, Hogan's face filled with horror. "Did they…?" Hogan began as his voice failed. He could not phrase his feared thought.

Jout understood what his brother wanted to ask him, and his eyes grew wide. "No!" he exclaimed. "They did not" Jout bid his lip and looked to the ground. "But they tried" He sat down again and glanced at Newkirk, who quickly took Jout's hand into his again underneath the table. "After George ran out of the workshop, I confronted Brawley with what he did. It came to a clash and nasty things were said. Then Brawley smirked and said that because of me, Fanbrick and Leach could not have fun with George. Next thing I knew is that he and Leach tried to wrestle me down. I fought back and luckily, I was able to deal out some pretty painful blows which made them let go of me" Jout started to slightly tremble, which was only noticed by Newkirk, who squeezed his hand gently and then stroke with his thumb across the back of Jout's hand. It calmed Jout down, and he found the strength to continue. "You remember my little encounter with them after they were released from the cooler?" Hogan nodded. "I told them I would not help them, and Brawley got angry. Pushed me against the wall and threatened again to tell the Germans that I'm gay. And then he said that before he would do that, he would have "a little fun with me"" Jout stared at his brother, a pleading look on his face. "Please don't make me be alone in a room with them!"

Hogan walked over to his brother, which made Newkirk let go of Jout's hand. He placed a hand on his younger brother's shoulder and said, "I promise you, nothing, I repeat, nothing will happen to you. Newkirk, Carter, and LeBeau will be outside in the main room, looking out for you. If Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach try to harm you, they will step in"

"Don't worry, Jout, nothing will happen to you," assured LeBeau.

"Yeah, I won't allow them to 'urt ya," said Newkirk. "Ya can trust me"

"Make that three!" exclaimed Carter.

Jout looked down to his feet, touched by his friends' will to protect him. So far it seemed that neither Carter nor his brother had any problems with his preference for men. He looked back at them, smiling sheepishly. "Thanks, guys. Then I will do it"

"Alright, with that everything is settled. First step in our plan is me talking to Klink about the work detail" He looked at his brother. "But before that I would like to talk with you in my office, Josh"

Jout gulped as he slowly rose to his feet and followed Hogan into his office. Now the moment of truth had come. Now he would learn how his brother really thought about him.

* * *

Right when Jout entered his brother's quarters, his heart began to beat faster and his stomach twisted into a knot. He still feared that Hogan might not accept him and would ask him now to leave this camp and to never contact him ever again, even though he planned to help him.

Fearing his brother's rejection and not wanting to hear him actually phrasing his possible disgust for him, Jout turned around when he heard the door closing and said, "I will leave with Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach and bring them to London myself. With that you won't have to worry about any troubles that my presence here could cause"

"Leaving? You won't leave this camp, you're needed here," said Hogan. "And why didn't you say something sooner about Brawley?"

"Because that would have meant to tell you that I'm gay" Jout walked over to the window and looked out of it. "That was something I had to prevent"

"But why?" asked Hogan as he sat down on the stool by his desk.

Jout did not avert his gaze from the window, his back turned on Hogan. "I feared you would not accept me like many other people, especially high-ranking officers" He slowly turned around and leant against the wall, looking to the door to avoid his brother. "I didn't want to lose you again"

"But I'm your brother. I would never turn my back on you just because you like men instead of women" Hogan stood up and moved closer to Jout. "I once left you alone, and for that I will never forgive myself. I won't make the same mistake twice"

"I could not have known that! Mostly it's family members or close friends you would think accept you who hurt you the most. Henri's parents, for example. At first, they had tried to "pray the gay away" and when that hadn't worked, they kicked him out of the house. Besides, have you seen Kinch's face?"

Hogan's face saddened as he nodded. "I have" Then he put a hand on Jout's shoulder. "But I'm not like others who outcast someone just because he is gay. You will always be my little brother, no matter what. And you will leave this camp with all of us, through the main gate after Allied tanks rolled into the compound"

Jout had a hard time chocking back his tears at his brother's support. He could not believe his luck. His brother wanted him to stay here and accepted him for who he was. Jout threw his arms around Hogan and hugged him tightly, relieved that his worst fear had not come true. Hogan hugged him back just as tightly, glad that Jout had finally opened up to him. He knew it was not over yet, and he had a feeling there was trouble lying ahead with Kinch, but right now he was simply happy.

After long minutes of embracing one another, Hogan stepped back and smiled at his brother. "I'm going to Klink now and put our plan into action. And don't worry about Kinch; everything is going to be alright, no matter what happens. But next time there is something troubling you, please tell me about it. You don't have to go through anything on your own ever again, alright?"

Jout glanced sheepishly to his feet and smiled. Then Hogan reached out and ruffled Jout's umber brown hair, something he had always done when he wanted to cheer him up when they were young.

"Stop that!" laughed Jout and swiftly took a step towards the bunk bed to get away from his brother. He raked his fingers through his hair, trying to make his ruffled hair look like before Hogan's attack, the sides straight and the front slightly combed with his fingers to his right and up. It was simple, and he did not even need a comb for that since he only needed to go through his hair with his fingers a couple times after waking up. "I'm not five anymore!"

Hogan had already made his way to the door, laughing with a broad smile at his brother's reaction. He took a hold of the doorknob, but looked back and said, "You will always be my little brother. Always"

* * *

Jout followed his brother back to the main room and walked straight to the tunnel entrance while Hogan made his way over to Klink. He avoided the others' gazes by staring at the ground, almost running across the room to the false bunk bed. Though he had the feeling that only Kinch had a problem with him, he could not bear to face up to the others after his revelations. Furthermore, talking about everything that Brawley had done to him and George had upset him, and he just needed to be alone for a while. Therefore, he slowly walked to the far end of one of the abandoned tunnels they now used as storage room, hoping no one would find him there. Upon reaching his destination, Jout sat down and pulled his knees to his chest. He laid his arms on his knees and began to absently play with the self-made bracelet Tommy had made for him with a little help from Ann. It was sent in the last letter and was braided out of two threats, a blue one and a yellow one, his favourite colours.

Jout nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned his head while panting from his fright and looked directly into warm and caring green eyes. "M'sorry I scared ya, but ya 'ad me worried when ya did not react" Still kneeling in front of him, Newkirk asked, "Is everythin' alright? Ya left the gov'nor's office in such a 'aste"

Jout looked back at his bracelet and mumbled, "Everything's fine" He knew that there was an awkward conversation lying ahead of him with Newkirk after what he had told his friends earlier, but he was not prepared for it. Luckily, Newkirk seemed to sense his discomfort and did not press Jout into talking. He simply sat down beside him and stared at the opposite wall, his shoulder against the American's. In fact, he was huddled so close to Jout that he was able to smell the Brit's cologne. This closeness somehow comforted him and helped Jout to sort his mind. There were so many things he wanted to tell Newkirk, so many things he wanted to explain. Still playing with his bracelet to soothe his nerves, he decided at last to simply start from the beginning. "Henri had proposed the day he died" Jout averted his gaze from the bracelet and directed it to the wall, not feeling strong enough to face Newkirk. He had hurt the other man tremendously and did not even try to make Newkirk forgive him with his explanation. He just wanted to let him know that everything he did was because he loved him and that he only tried to protect him. "Not twelve hours after I said yes, he was shot down and died. And with him, every joy of living I had felt since we were a couple. In my grief I swore to myself that I would never again get involved with a serviceman. That simply brought along too much heartbreak" Newkirk felt his heart tighten at Jout's remark, fearing that there would never be chance for them. Eventually, Jout turned his head again and looked at Newkirk who silently listened to him. With a smile, Jout said, "And then you came along, and swept me of my feet with your smile, your eyes, and your bold attitude. I fell head over heels in love with you, and it frightened me. It was the first time since Henri's death that I had romantic feelings for someone. But with all your stories I thought that you were straight because of which I decided to ignore my feelings" He grunted. "A proposition which failed miserably. And then there was Brawley who threatened to expose my secret to the Germans" Jout took Newkirk's hand in his, stroking the back of his hand with his thumb, just like Newkirk had done earlier with him. "You can believe me, the night we spent together was wonderful. I loved every minute of it and felt completely safe with you. And it broke my heart to say those hurtful things to you, but I got scared. I feared that you might be caught in the crossfire between Brawley and me, and I could not let that happen again. Not after what had happened with George. I had to protect you" Jout looked Newkirk deeply in the eyes and gathered all his courage. "I love you, Peter. With all my heart. But with love also comes responsibility, and I had the responsibility to make sure that Brawley would not harm you" He squeezed the Brit's hand gently. "I know I've hurt you, and I'm incredible sorry for that. I will never forgive myself, and I won't ask for your forgiveness because I have no right to. I just wanted to tell you this"

Jout let go of Newkirk's hand and stood up. But before he could walk away, he felt two hands on his shoulders that turned him around. "Ya don't 'ave to ask for me forgiveness," said Newkirk, a small smile on his face. "I 'ave already forgiven ya" By now, Newkirk stood right in front of him, their bodies almost touching. He moved his hands down Jout's arms, at last taking the American's hands in his.

"But why?" asked Jout, lowering his glance. "I have done nothing to deserve your forgiveness. All I did was hurting you"

Newkirk let go of Jout's hands and touched his chin with his index finger. He gently pushed Jout's head up, making him look into his eyes. "Yes, ya 'ave 'urt me, and in all 'onesty, I did 'ate ya for a while. But I never stopped lovin' ya. And 'ow could I 'ate ya any longer with knowin' what ya went through with Brawley and 'at ya only tried to protect me" Newkirk began to caress Jout's cheek, gazing lovingly at him. "But please tell me from now on if there is somethin' troublin' ya. There is nothin' ya 'ave to 'ide from me"

Jout met Newkirk's gaze, a puzzled expression on his face. "From now on?"

"Yes, if ya want to try it" Newkirk moved closer to Jout's head, their lips only inches apart from each other. "I love you"

He closed the distance between them and placed his lips tenderly on Jout's. This time Jout did not stiffen, but immediately kissed back and wrapped his arms around Newkirk's waist, pulling him close. In return, Newkirk wrapped his left arm around the American's shoulders and drove his hand up and down Jout's back, and he placed his right hand behind his head, burying his fingers in his short brown hair. Jout felt Newkirk's tongue grazing his lips which made him open his mouth and stroking the Brit's tongue with his own. This made Newkirk moan as he gently pushed Jout against the tunnel wall. Then he stopped kissing him and moved his head back to be able to look the American in the eyes. "I take 'at as a yes then?" he asked with a smirk.

Jout moved his hands down Newkirk's waist and into the back pockets of his blue RAF pants. "What do you think?" He affectionately squeezed Newkirk's buttocks, making him jump a little. "I love you, Peter," Jout said and gave him a peck on his lips. "And I will never again hide anything from you. I promise" He sought Newkirk's mouth for another kiss, and the two men exchanged affections for a little while longer, simply being happy that they had finally found each other.

* * *

 **[1] – Season 2 Episode 17,** _ **The General Swap**_


	30. Chapter 30

**A/N: This chapter contains aspects of discrimination connected with Bible passages and religious belief. It is not my intention to criticise the Christian belief or Christians in general, I just wanted to provide an insight on how some people use religion to discriminate against others, especially back in the times. If you feel attacked by any remarks, I apologize in advance.**

* * *

 _The next day…_

Jout climbed down the ladder to the tunnel. So far it had been an uneventful day, the only extraordinary thing being Kinch wiring up Sergeant Pearson's room. However, it had also been the first day since Jout came across Brawley that he went through the day without any fear, but rather felt happy because his relationship with his brother was even more strengthened by yesterday's events. And of course he was on cloud nine ever since he and Newkirk got together. They had decided to keep their relationship a secret until the whole thing with Brawley would be over, and even then they would only tell their closest friends. Unfortunately, this meant to act as if they were nothing more than buddies when they were around their friends, and only being able to snatch a kiss when they were alone in the tunnel. But he was entirely happy nonetheless, treasuring the moments Newkirk casually draped an arm around his shoulder or gave him a radiant smile even more.

Now he was on his way to the clothing section of the tunnel where he knew Newkirk was currently mending some of their German uniforms they always needed to accomplish all of their crazy schemes. Jout wanted to keep him company and he was longing for spending some time alone with his boyfriend. This thought made him smile since he was still having a hard time believing that he was actually in a relationship with the handsome East Ender.

As Jout passed the radio room, he saw Kinch sitting by the radio, waiting for messages from London or the Underground. Ever since he had told his friends that he was gay, Kinch did not speak with him and it seemed like the sergeant was avoiding him. And even though Jout was pretty sure he knew why Kinch was dodging him, he wanted to hear it from Kinch himself. Therefore, he discarded his plan to spend time with Newkirk and rather went into the radio room.

Jout plopped down on a stool across from Kinch, who did not avert his gaze from the radio. "How does it look?" he asked. "Are we going to have a busy night, or will we be able to sleep peacefully in our bunks?"

"Until now, everything is quiet," answered Kinch, still staring at the radio in front of him.

Jout inwardly sighed. He was tired of someone avoiding unpleasant talks because he did not want to face possible consequences. He himself had done it often enough in the last few weeks, and in the end, it helped no one. It was only complicating things. "All right, Kinch. What is it?"

Kinch finally raised his glance, a questioning look on his face. "What is what?"

"Aw, come on! Don't beat around the bush. We both know that you avoid talking to me since I said I was gay" Jout leaned forward, lowering his voice. "So tell me, are you disgusted by me?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," snorted Kinch. He looked back down at the radio and started to impatiently tap with the back of his pencil on his notepad.

"I'm not blind, Kinch," said Jout. "I saw your face yesterday. Just tell me why you dodge me, and please be honest"

Kinch stopped tapping, looking Jout directly in the eyes. "You really want me to say it? Even though you already know what my problem with you is?"

Jout nodded. "Until you say it, it's only an assumption. Besides, if you feel that way, you should have no problem phrasing it"

"All right," Kinch began. "My problem with you is that you…" Kinch wrung with himself to phrase Jout's preference. "…is that you…prefer men over women"

Though Jout had prepared himself to hear his probably former friend say that, it still gave him a blow to the stomach. He dropped his gaze because he could not bear to continue looking at Kinch and drove with his fingers through his hair. He always did that in tensed situations; it helped him to soothe his nerves. "But why is it a problem for you that I love men? It has no effects on you"

"It's not right to love men!" exclaimed Kinch. "It's not what God wanted"

Jout was startled. "Do you really want to start debating over what God's opinion on homosexuality is?"

A flash of anger crossed Kinch's face and Jout had the feeling that if looks could kill, he would be six feet under by now. "What is there to discuss? Leviticus 18:22 says, 'You shall not lie with a male as with a woman; it is an abomination'. I think it's pretty clear what God thinks about men like you"

Jout felt his heart tighten. Kinch's voice was full of disgust and hatred for him, and although it was not the first time he was confronted with that kind of reaction towards his sexuality, it was nevertheless hurting him to receive this kind of negative reaction from someone he thought of as his friend. Jout was only glad that Newkirk was not with him, because he would have definitely dealt a blow at Kinch by now. "That's right, but Leviticus also said 'no hair cuts', and apparently no one is concerned about God's opinion on us sinning against that" Jout looked Kinch deep in the eyes, but in contrast to Kinch, there was no anger in them. "And here is another quote. Romans 5:8 says, 'But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us'. Or this, 1 John 4:10, 'In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins'. So even if I sin, it is clearly said that God still loves me. And it's said that we are all sinners" Jout leaned back and crossed his arms in front of his chest. It was not the first time he had to use passages from the Bible in a discussion about homosexuality, and therefore he knew those passages pretty much by heart. "Besides, if you think God will judge people for who they love, don't you think he will judge you for who you hate? After all, Mark 12:31 says, 'You shall love your neighbour as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than this'"

Jout could see in Kinch's tensed body language that he had no idea what to say against that. So Kinch reacted in the way many people do when other's question their principals; denial. "It is not right to love men as a man. It's disgusting and perverted. And NOT what God wanted. He created us male and female" During his rage, Kinch removed his headphones and stood up, pacing in front of Jout.

"It's not what God wanted?" Jout asked perplexed. "Kinch, do you think I decided to be gay? That one day I woke up and said to myself, 'Everyone loves the opposite sex, so I'm going to feel attracted to the same sex'?" Jout still eyed Kinch. "Say, have you decided to love women?"

Kinch stopped pacing and turned to glance at Jout, looking very much like being caught with his hands in the cookie jar. "Well, no" He shifted his weight from one food to the other. "But it's only natural to love women as a man. Everything else is abnormal"

"You really think so?" Jout gazed at him, his eyes mirroring all the hurt he felt in his heart. "I really thought you would think different. I had hoped you out of all the others would understand me"

"Why that? I am normal"

"Because you have to face discrimination too!" Jout exclaimed. It was the first time he had raised his voice during their argument. "Back in the States, you are discriminated against something you can't change; your skin colour. And if God was like all those stupid racists, thinking black people are not worth as much as white people, he would never have created black people. He would have created everyone having white skin. But he wanted you to be this way and discriminating you against that would mean to insult God's creation. And it is the same with me and everyone else who loves the same sex, whether they are a man or a woman. If God had wanted us to love the opposite sex, he would not have made us this way. If He had thought I sin by loving a man, he would not have made me feel attracted to them"

Kinch stared at Jout, the silence feeling like the calm before the storm. Jout did not dare to breathe as he held the sergeant's gaze, trying to appear as self-confident as possible. He wanted to show Kinch that he did not have to feel bad for being gay and that he would never again feel insecure and intimidated about his sexuality.

After a few minutes of simply staring at each other and not saying one word, Kinch stepped away from the radio. "Could you watch the radio for a while?" he asked and left the radio room without waiting for Jout's answer.

Jout sighed as he settled himself on the stool Kinch had occupied only moments ago. He put the headphones around his neck to be ready in case a message from London or the Underground would come in. As he sat by himself in complete silence, the whole weight of his dispute with Kinch hit him right into the stomach. Yet again he had lost a friend because of something mundane. Why did people feel repelled by another person's sexuality? His sexuality was something private that only concerned him and the person he was in a relationship with. Jout rested his head on his hands, covering his eyes. Exactly these feelings of sadness and hurt were the reasons why he has not wanted anyone in this camp, especially his friends, to know about his loving for men.

Lost in his thoughts, Jout did not notice someone approaching him until two strong arms slid around his waist from behind and embraced him. He smelled Newkirk's distinctive cologne, reminding him of musk even though it was self-made. Then he felt Newkirk kissing his temple and pulling him close to him. " 'ey, luv. I didn't know ya 'ad radio duty tonight"

Jout leaned his head back on Newkirk's shoulder, his eyes still closed. While Newkirk was snuggling up with him, Jout said, "I have not. But Kinch asked me to watch the radio and then he ran away"

"What 'appened?"

Jout bid his lip. He had promised Newkirk to never hide something from him ever again, but he did not want him to go nuts and draw Kinch's attention to the fact that Newkirk was also gay. In the end, he thought it was best not talk about their argument; after all, it was not as important as his dispute with Brawley. "I don't know"

Newkirk sensed that Jout was hiding something from him again and stopped pecking on his neck. He turned him around on the stool and said, "Alright, spill it. I know ya're 'idin' somethin'" He placed his hands on Jout's shoulders, gently kneading them. "Ya promised to talk to me if somethin' troubles ya"

Jout laid his hands on top of Newkirk's and caressed them. "I know, but I don't want you to get mad"

"Well, we will only know 'ow I react if ya tell me"

Jout thought for a moment and then decided that Newkirk had a right to know about Kinch's opinion on them. After all, it affected him as much as it affected himself. "I talked to Kinch because I suspected him of having a problem with me being gay. He admitted to it and then we had an argument. I tried to make him understand that we are not sinners, and that us being gay does not harm him. But he only said that it's not right to be gay and then he hurried out of the room"

While Jout told him what Kinch said, Newkirk's eyes filled with rage and he stepped away from him. He clenched his fists and hissed, "This bleedin' bastard!"

Jout jumped off his stool and began to stroke Newkirk's upper arms in an attempt to calm him down. "Hey, everything is fine. I mean, it's not the first time I'm confronted with someone who is not fond of guys like us"

"But just because Kinch is not the only narrow-minded idiot ya 'ave met in yer life, doesn't mean ya should ignore what 'e said, Josh" Right after they had announced their love for each other, Newkirk had declared that he would call him Josh from now on when they were alone because he thought it was not fitting to call his love by his nickname. Newkirk looked into Jout's bright brown eyes, his own green eyes greeting Jout with sadness. "Why do some people feel like they 'ave to meddle in our affairs? It's no one's business what we do with whom"

"I don't know, Peter," Jout said while he hugged him, pulling his boyfriend close and laying his head on Newkirk's shoulder. "I really don't know. But please promise me that you won't confront Kinch"

Newkirk hugged him back and buried his nose in Jout's hair, smelling the scent of curd soap. "Are ya crazy, Josh? Do ya seriously expect me to smile at 'im and act like nothin' 'appened? May I remind ya 'at ya told me 'e is repelled by blokes like us? 'at includes me too"

"I know, but up until now he does not suspect you to be gay. He only knows about me. And I think we should leave it like that for the moment" Jout glanced up at him. "I promised you to tell you if something troubles me. Now you promise me not to confront him with what I told you. Deal?"

Albeit grudgingly, Newkirk promised to leave Kinch alone until the whole thing with Brawley would be over, and then he and Jout would decide whether or not to tell their friends about their relationship. The two lovebirds continued hugging each other and not saying one word, both wrapped up in their own thoughts. Again, they were too occupied so that they did not notice someone else being in the radio room. Suddenly they heard a cough and Jout jumped out off Newkirk's arms, spinning around with his heart beating in his ears. Newkirk was just as terrified as he was as they both stared with wide eyes at the person who caught them in the act.

"I can…I can explain," stammered Jout.

But Hogan only laughed. "Don't worry about it. I already told you that I won't outcast you" Then he smiled at Newkirk. "And I won't tell a living soul about you two. That's none of my business" Jout and Newkirk began to smile in relief as Hogan continued, "But I do want to wish you two the best"

Jout sheepishly smiled back at his brother and took Newkirk's hand in his. "Thank you, Rob" Then he eyed his brother curiously. "Trouble with the Germans, or why are you downstairs?"

Hogan's smile faded. "Not with the Germans, but with Kinch" Jout glanced to the ground and Newkirk looked at him with a furious expression. Hogan sighed as he tried to think of how to phrase what his second-in-command just told him. "Kinch asked to leave our unit and go to London"

Jout raised his gaze, a mix of shock and hurt in his eyes. "Because of me?"

Hogan nodded. "At first he asked me to send you back to London. When I told him I would never do that, he asked me to release him from his duty and send him away"

Jout was still shocked from what his brother had told him, which made Newkirk step closer to him and slid an arm around the American's waist, pulling him close. "What are ya goin' to do, gov'nor?"

"I will send him to London with Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach. With that, Klink's 'no-escape-record' will not be ruined"

"But 'at means we will be short on a radio man," Newkirk pointed out.

"No, we won't," announced Jout as he recovered from his shock. "I will take over for him" Before Newkirk could raise any objections, Jout said, "Someone has to do it, and after Kinch, I'm the most experienced one. Besides, it's my fault that he wants to leave"

"It's not yer fault!" exclaimed Newkirk. "Just because 'e 'as a problem bein' near 'omosexuals, doesn't mean ya should stay behind by the radio. We need ya on outside missions!"

"My sentiments exactly, but until I figured out how to get another radio man, Josh's the best and only choice" As he turned to leave, Hogan said, "Don't worry, Josh. Everything will turn out fine, but it's best if he leaves. I don't want someone on my team who discriminates against others because of prejudices. Especially if these prejudices concern my little brother and his boyfriend" Hogan winked at his last remark.

When Hogan left, Jout sat down by the radio and put the headphones around his neck again. He was once again oblivious of his surroundings as he thought about the last few minutes. Newkirk noticed this and sat down with him. Wanting to distract him from Kinch's words, he pulled out his deck of cards he always carried with him and showed it to his love. "Want to play a few rounds and forget about everythin' else?"

Jout gave him a small smile and nodded. "What's the stake?"

Newkirk gave him an innocent smile in return. " 'ow about the loser 'as to give the winner a massage?"

"Well, what kind of massage?"

Newkirk grinned at him, his eyes flashing mischievously. " 'at's up to the winner"

"Alright. I 'ope ya 'ave soft 'ands. I want an enjoyable massage," declared Jout as he picked up the cards Newkirk had dealt.

"Only in yer dreams, luv. Only in yer dreams"


	31. Chapter 31

**Warning: This chapter contains strong and pejorative language.**

* * *

 _The next day…_

Jout sat on top of his bunk with his feet hanging over the edge. His hands were gripping the thin mattress as he absently stared dead ahead, his eyes fixed upon one of the bunks across the room. He was slightly shaking and on the verge of a nervous breakdown, breathing far too rapidly which made him feel like he was choking. Jout was alone in the barracks as the other occupants were currently outside preparing everything for the upcoming volleyball game while down in the tunnel, Hogan informed General Barton by radio about his plan. And that was the reason for Jout's panic attack; in less than one hour he would have to confront Brawley in hopes he would admit everything he had done so that Hogan could send him back to London. And even though he wanted nothing more than see Brawley and his friends ending up behind bars, Jout feared being alone with them, especially after Brawley's threat. He had seen what Brawley was capable of and what it had done to his victim. Despite knowing that his friends would be next door to protect him and that most notably Newkirk would never let anything happen to him, he was still scared. Part of him wanted to run away and hide, maybe dressing up as a civilian and hiding in some pub far away from camp. But another part of him wanted to show Brawley that he was not intimidated by him. And this battle of emotions only intensified his hyperventilation.

As Newkirk opened the door, he quickly scanned the room for Jout. When he had left the barracks about an hour ago for his cleaning duty in Hilda's office, his boyfriend seemed highly nervous and absentminded, flinching at every touch which in return, made him extremely worried. Newkirk knew that the trap Hogan had planned was the only way to get rid of Brawley, but he was still anxious that something might go wrong, leaving Jout injured or worse. As his eyes fell on the hyperventilating form on one of the upper bunks, Newkirk felt how his heart made double jumps in the blink of an eye. He ran towards Jout and practically jumped onto the bunk.

Newkirk took a hold of Jout's shoulders and turned his boyfriend to face him. "Josh, what 'appened?" But the other man did not react and kept on hyperventilating, now a mix of rapid and shallow breaths. It reminded Newkirk of the night after Brawley had beaten him up, as he woke up to a suffocating Jout who made exactly the same sounds. "Ya need to calm down, luv! Lon' and deep breaths, just like before" But Jout's breathing did not calm down, not even when Newkirk breathed with him. Moreover, it seemed like Jout did not even realize that Newkirk was with him because it was as if Jout looked right through him, not focusing on Newkirk who sat next to him.

Now also starting to panic and with his hands still on his boyfriend's shoulders, Newkirk frantically looked around the room and searched for something to help Jout. His eyes landed on the locker by the door and he remembered that LeBeau had stored a few paper bags from Schultz's last food delivery in there. He turned around to Jout and said, "I'll be right back"

Newkirk jumped down and rushed to the locker, quickly rummaging through it in search for one of the brown paper bags. It took a bit more time because he could not get his hands to stop shaking, but eventually he found what he desperately searched for. With the bag in his hand, Newkirk ran back to Jout and climbed onto the bunk again. He settled beside the suffocating man and put the bag over Jout's mouth while he placed his other hand on his back, gently rubbing it in an effort to help him calm down. " 'ere, Josh, breathe into the bag. It will 'elp ya"

The bag helped to control his breathing and eventually, Jout was able to breathe normally again. Totally exhausted and worn out from his panic attack, Jout dropped his head down on Newkirk's shoulder despite risking that someone might come in and see him huddled up against the Brit. But right now, he had not the strength to worry further about a possible exposure of them. Jout closed his eyes while Newkirk continued to rub his back and began to kiss his head. " 'at's right, luv. Ya don't 'ave to worry about nothin'. Everythin' is fine. I'm 'ere" After a few more minutes of whispering soothing things into Jout's ear, Newkirk asked, "What 'appened, luv? Was it about Brawley?"

Jout detached himself from Newkirk's shoulder and looked into a pair of worried grey-green eyes. The right corner of his mouth raised into a small but sad smile. "You know me so well, Peter" Then he averted his gaze from his boyfriend and directed it to the bunk bed across the room again. "I don't know exactly what happened, but thinking about being alone in a room with those monsters made me panicking. I mean, I know that you guys are out there in the other room and that you would never let them harm me, but I'm still terrified"

Newkirk grabbed Jout's chin and turned his head so that he was facing him. "Ya 'ave every right to be afraid of them. I would be too if I were ya. But ya're also right 'at Andrew, Louis, and I will protect ya. And I swear, I won't let Brawley lay a finger on ya. I'd rather listen to Klink playin' the violin for 'ours before I let someone 'urt ya" Jout's smile grew wider at Newkirk's sweet words. " 'at's the Josh I fell in love with," Newkirk said, making Jout smile. Newkirk gave him a quick peck on the lips and then jumped down from the upper bunk. He reached out his hand and laughed, "Come on, Josh! I think the others need the 'elp of two intelligent blokes like us. When I came past them, Andrew got 'imself entangled in the net"

* * *

Jout sat on the bench outside his barracks and watched the volleyball game which was in full swing. His brother leaned beside him against the barracks' wall and Newkirk was sitting next to him watching the game too, while Carter and LeBeau participated in it.

Hogan looked at his watch and said in a low voice, "It's time to start our little trap. Are you ready, Josh?"

Jout glanced at Newkirk and was greeted by a reassuring smile. He looked back at his brother and answered, "It's now or never, Rob"

He stood up from the bench and tugged his hands in his pockets. Then he started walking towards barracks 8 to meet with Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach who were awaiting him. When Jout was out of sight, Hogan glanced at Newkirk and tilted his head in the direction his brother went. Newkirk got the hint and rose from the bench too, while lighting up a cigarette. But his shaking hands made this task a bit more difficult than it actually was. In the meantime, LeBeau and Carter had changed places with Olson and Saunders and made their way over to Newkirk. Together they followed Jout to barracks 8.

With every step Jout took, he felt a knot forming in his stomach and his heart beating faster. He was only glad that his hands were in his pockets so that no one was able to see just how nervous he was. But he knew that this was his only chance to get Brawley to pay for what he had done to George, and he would not miss the opportunity to see that justice was done to him. As Jout arrived in front of barracks 8, he took a deep breath and gathered all his courage. Then he knocked on the door and entered the main room without waiting for an answer.

Inside he saw Brawley sitting at the main table, a smug grin on his face. "Ah, there you are. We were waiting for you," he said and pointed to Fanbrick and Leach who were sitting with him at the main table. "Personally, I thought you would chicken out"

"I had to wait for the others to be distracted" Jout looked around the room. "Could we talk in the other room? I don't want someone to accidently walk in on us"

Brawley stood up from the table, followed suit by his friends. "Whatever you want" The group went into the other room and when they entered it, Brawley ordered Leach to stand in front of the door to block Jout's only way out. "Don't want you to run away from us, don't we?" Brawley said, still having this sleazy grin on his face.

 _Grin all you want,_ thought Jout. _You'll soon be laughing out of the other side of your face! Just wait and see._

Jout lingered in the middle of the room while Brawley settled down on the stool by Sergeant Pearson's desk with Fanbrick standing right beside him. "So, Hogan, have you thought about our little, shall we say, offer?"

"Offer? Don't make me laugh, Brawley!" exclaimed Jout. "Call it what it is; you and your friends are blackmailing me"

"Blackmailing is such a harsh word. I like offer better," Brawley said. "I mean, in the end, we offer you a deal. You get us out of Germany and back to London, and in return, we won't tell the Germans that you are a perverted homosexual. It's your choice"

Jout had a hard time holding back his smile. Now they had Brawley's confession for one crime on tape. _Peace of cake! Now I only have to get him to confess his other blackmailing and the rape and then this nightmare will finally be over!_

"Just like it was the enlisted men's choices to give you half of their payment? You do know that I saw how you three have beaten them up? And you tried the same with me too"

Brawley raised his hands in defence. "It's not my fault that some of them did not know what was good for them. They should just have given us the money and then we would not have been forced to use our fists" He lowered his arms and crossed them in front of his chest. "But enough of that. Are you going to help us or not?"

"Just one question? Why do you feel like you have to blackmail me in order to escape? You simply could have gone to Colonel Hogan and ask him to escape"

Brawley sprang up from the stool. "I did, but he denied my request. Said it was important for the operation that no prisoner escapes" He began to pace. "Damn operation! Why are flyers from other camps allowed to go back to London? Just because they ended up in another Stalag? I didn't choose to end up here! It's not fair that I have to rot in here!"

"Not fair?" asked Jout. "This whole war is not fair! Besides, do you think it was fair what you did to George?" He eyed Brawley sternly. "I think it is only fair for you to rot in here, the same goes for your sidekicks. What better place for you to be in than a prison? Whether it's an Allied military prison or a German POW camp is irrelevant"

"Argh, for the sake of it! What is it with you and George? For the last time, he wanted it. It's not my fault that this pervert killed himself"

"I've had it with you too, Brawley!" exclaimed Jout. "You raped George!"

Brawley shook his head in dismiss. "What do you call 'rape'? George was a perverted homosexual, just like you, and I just gave him what he wanted; a cock up his ass"

Jout clenched his fists in his pockets. Just like the other week, Jout wanted nothing more than to beat Brawley senseless, but he knew that it would not help the situation. Only getting him to confess everything would make him pay. So Jout bid his lip and took a deep breath through his nose. "Oh, really? I can't seem to recall that he was interested in you, let alone making sexual advances to you. And don't you think if he had wanted it, you would not have needed to truss him up and gag him? And I don't think he would have screamed in pain if he had wanted it. And he definitely would not have killed himself saying to me that he could not live with what you three had done to him," Jout explained, trying to be as calm as possible.

But instead of trying to defend himself any further, Brawley gave him a sardonic grin. "All right, all right. I have to admit, George was not pleased about it. But I, Fanbrick, and Leach, on the other hand, had much more fun shagging him. Especially since he struggled and tried to free himself"

"I can't believe that you are still in the Air Force" Jout glared at Brawley. "Say, how did you manage to get Group Captain Preston to order that anyone who mentioned George's death to a stranger would be court-martialled?"

"Easy. Fanbrick's father covered up for us; just like he did before with those blackmailing charges. He made Preston give that order"

Jout faked a surprised reaction. "You mean General Fanbrick was aware that you raped George? He did not just cover up for you because I accused his son?"

Jout's astonishment elicited a laugh from Brawley. "Of course he did! Can't say he was happy about it, but he helped us nonetheless"

* * *

"Have you heard enough, General Barton?" asked Hogan, standing in the tunnel next to Kinch.

" _Yes, I have,"_ answered General Barton by radio. _"And even though I heard it with my own ears, I can't believe it. And those three are still part of our honourable Air Force?"_

"You can thank Lieutenant General Fanbrick for that, Sir," said Hogan embittered.

" _Do you want to say anything for your defence, General?"_ asked General Barton, his question directed at General Fanbrick who stood beside him in London's communication centre.

" _I don't think that's necessary. Everything has been said"_ General Fanbrick knew that it was over. The record was evidence enough for what he and his son's friends had done. Denial would not do any good.

Hogan inwardly sighed in relief because his plan had worked without a hitch. Until last, he had feared that something would go wrong, and that General Barton might not believe him or that General Fanbrick would deny his accompliceship. "General Barton, can I assume that you agree with sending Sergeants Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach back to London to see them put to trial?"

" _If you can arrange their escape without risking to blow the cover of your operation, yes"_

"That won't be a problem, Sir," Hogan assured. He glanced at Kinch, who had stopped the taping, and Hogan remembered that he had to get Barton's approval for sending Kinch along. "If it's alright with you, Sir, I would send one of my men along with them. His name is Staff Sergeant James Kinchloe, and he is part of our operation from the beginning. I think it's time for him to escape to London and with that Sergeant Brawley and his friends would have a proper escort"

" _Whatever you want, Papa Bear,"_ said General Barton. _"You think you can arrange the escape by tomorrow night? We have a sub near the usual rendezvous point that could pick them up at 2400 hours tomorrow night"_

"That can be arranged, Sir. Over and out" Kinch disconnected the radio connection and looked up at Hogan. The Colonel looked back down and though he was glad that he had succeeded in getting rid of Brawley, he was angry at Kinch for wanting to leave the operation because of his brother's sexuality. "I hope you are happy," said Hogan and walked out of the radio room, making his way over to barracks 8.


	32. Chapter 32

Brawley sauntered back to the desk and leant against it. He crossed his arms in front of his chest again and eyed Jout carefully. "But enough of these old stories. Much more important is whether you help us get out of here or not"

Jout glanced around the room, his gaze wandering from Brawley, to Fanbrick, then to Leach, who stood behind him, and back to Brawley. Now the moment had arrived he dreaded the most. He knew that denying Brawley his help would make him extremely angry and Jout risked that Brawley would make his threat come true. But he trusted his friends next door and with that trust in mind, Jout announced, "No, I won't help you. I already said that this place is perfect for you three. Furthermore, I won't betray my brother and my friends; not for all the tea in China"

The arrogant smile faded from Brawley's face as he lingered by the desk for a moment, not saying one word but only stared at Jout. Then he slowly sat up and menacing walked over to Jout. He stood only a few inches away from him because of which Jout had to raise his glance to be able to look him in the eyes since Brawley was about five inches taller than he was. But Jout was not intimidated by Brawley's height and dangerous aura. "Oh, Hogan. I can't believe how naïve you are. Do you really think your brother won't turn his back on you when he learns what kind of sick person you are?"

Now Jout was the one who gave Brawley a smug grin. "Yes, I do. Especially since I've already told him that I'm gay" He crossed his arms. "I'm not frightened by your threat anymore, Brawley. My preference for men is nothing to be ashamed of"

"You think so?" asked Brawley, a predatory smile flashing across his face. Jout nodded as he tried to look confident, but Brawley's expression slightly scared him. He stepped away from him and out of the corner of his eye he saw Fanbrick moving closer to him with Leach appearing on his other side. "Then you should have no problem with that," said Brawley.

Out of nowhere, Brawley rammed his elbow in Jout's nose and an immense wave of pain emerged from it. But before Jout was able to scream so his friends would know that something was wrong, something was pushed into his mouth and strapped behind his head. Judging by the fabric, Jout figured it was a sock or something like that. Brawley pushed him to the bunk, which made him lose his balance and stumble towards it. As he felt a hand on the back of his head that pressed his face into the thin mattress, Jout struggled to free himself. He also tried to scream to signal his friends next door that he needed help, but the only sound audible was a muted and muffle scream.

Jout struck out to Fanbrick and Leach who stood next to him and pressed his head and torso down. He felt his arms being jerked on his back and his wrists being tied together. "We don't want you to beat us off like last time," laughed Brawley. Jout tried to turn his mouth away from the mattress and screamed as loud as possible while being gagged. He only hoped it would be loud enough so that his friends would come and rescue him in time. He felt Brawley leaning on him and next Brawley's mouth was by his ear. "Now we're gonna have a little fun"

Brawley bobbed up again and then Jout heard a belt being unbuckled and a zipper being undone. His mind went blank as he began to struggle again and tried to push his body weight against the bunk frame, hoping to push Fanbrick and Leach away. However, their combined strength was too much for him to fight off. Then he felt two hands wandering around his waist and gripping his own belt buckle, but before they were able to open it, there was a loud bang coming from his right.

"Ya sick bastard! Step away from 'im!" Jout heard a familiar voice yelling.

Jout closed his eyes and when the weight of Fanbrick and Leach left his body, he slumped and sat down while he turned around to lean against the bedframe. He felt blood running from his nose down to his chin and the pain from his nose now caused a throbbing in his head. In the back of his mind Jout heard footsteps and loud voices talking across each other, but he could not get himself to move. Still being gagged and bound, he placed his chin on his chest and tried to calm himself down with deep breaths through his injured nose.

Jout flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "It's me," assured a distinctive British voice. He felt the gag and sock being removed because of which he was able to close his mouth again. Now his jaw began to hurt too. Jout blinked a few times as he tried to open his eyes while he felt how his hands were freed. Then he slowly raised his head and stared into Newkirk's green eyes that were full of worry for him. "It's over, Jout. Ya don't 'ave to be afraid of them ever again" He used his thumb to gently wipe away some blood that trickled down from Jout's nose.

"I'm…I'm fine," Jout stammered. "Just a bloody nose and quite a scare"

"It will never be over, Hogan!" yelled Brawley. He took a step towards the huddled Jout, but Carter and LeBeau blocked his way. Brawley glared at Jout and threatened, "You made a huge mistake telling your friends about our little meeting. You will regret that!"

Brawley shoved Carter violently aside, who stumbled and hit his head on the edge of the table. He took again one step forward, but Newkirk had already stood up and rushed over to Brawley. He grabbed his collar and pushed him back to Fanbrick and Leach. "Ya are the one who will be sorry! And if ya approach or cow 'im one more time, I'll make sure 'at ya're pushin' up the daisies"

Jout did not witness Newkirk's threat. Right when Brawley had shoved Carter aside, Jout had scrambled to his feet and dashed out of the room. Full of panic and completely oblivious to his surroundings, he rushed out of the barracks, trying to get as far away from Brawley as possible. Being frightened of his attacker, Jout did not notice that someone else was stepping through the barracks' door at the same time he tried to leave through it. He bumped into the person and mumbled a soft, "Sorry", then he ran away from the barracks. He heard his brother shouting after him, asking if everything was alright, but Jout did not turn around and simply continued to race across the compound, always feeling like his heart would stop from fear.

* * *

Hogan gazed after his brother, puzzled by his strange behaviour. He wanted to run after Jout, but sudden yelling from the adjoining room caught his attention. He quickly made his way across the room and stepped into Sergeant Pearson's quarters, being greeted by the sight of Newkirk seizing Brawley by the collar. Fanbrick and Leach were standing behind him, looking very much intimidated and LeBeau was crouching next to Carter who sat on the ground and rubbed his head.

"What the hell is going on here?" asked Hogan perplexed, all eyes landing on him. "And why was Josh in such a hurry to leave?"

"This bastard tried to rape Jout!" exclaimed Newkirk as he pushed Brawley away from him. He turned around and saw that Jout was not sitting in front of the bunk bed anymore. "Where's Jout?"

"He just left the barracks. Almost ran into me," said Hogan.

Brawley, who straightened his jacket, glanced at Hogan confused. "I don't know what he's talking about, Colonel. I would never do something like that"

Hogan raised his hand. "I don't want to hear it, Sergeant. But I think a military court will be more interested in hearing your shabby excuses"

"Military court? What are you talking about, Colonel?" questioned Brawley.

Hogan walked over to Carter and asked, "How are you doing?"

Carter looked up and said, "I'm fine, Colonel. Only my head hurts a bit"

Then Hogan leant against the desk and crossed his arms. "You know, Sergeant, this room is wired. And everything you said was recorded and played to General Barton by radio who is in London. I have to say, he was more than shocked by what he had heard. Ordered me to send you three to London and promised to put you to trial"

"Again, I don't know what you are talking about, Sir. But I'm sure Lieutenant General Fanbrick can clear up this misunderstanding"

"I would not be so sure about that, Sergeant" Hogan began to smile. "You have to know, Lieutenant General Fanbrick was with General Barton. And when they heard you telling Josh how General Fanbrick covered up the rape of Sergeant Kisro you committed, General Fanbrick announced he would not help you this time"

"I don't believe you!" Fanbrick piped up. "My father would never let me down"

"You will meet him soon enough, Sergeant," declared Hogan. He averted his gaze and saw how Newkirk looked at him with a fearful and pleading expression on his face, his eyes asking him a silent question. Hogan knew what Newkirk wanted and ordered, "Newkirk, look if you can find Josh. And please send Sergeant Pearson"

Newkirk nodded and gave him a thankful look, then he quickly left the room to look for his boyfriend.

* * *

Jout passed the volleyball game and entered his own barracks, quickly making his way over to the tunnel entrance. Jout climbed down and hurried to one of the abandon tunnel sections. On his way, he came past the radio room, but he ignored Kinch and when he reached his destination, Jout stretched his arms out and supported himself on them against the tunnel wall. He looked down at the ground and took deep breaths as he tried to comprehend what just happened. Brawley had tried to rape him. Again. Tried to do the same to him that he had done to George. Jout raised his glance and saw red marks appearing on his wrists as well as blood drops on his sleeves. He wiped with his hand across his nose and looked at it, his palm covered in red. He was surprised at the amount of blood coming from his nose since it did not hurt as much as if it was broken.

Jout was still gazing at the blood on his hand when he heard someone calling for him from a distance. He recognized the voice and shouted, "I'm here!" Next he turned around and leant with his back against the wall, waiting for Newkirk.

Seconds later, Newkirk appeared in the small tunnel section and rushed over to him. "Are ya okay, Josh? Ya left without sayin' anythin'"

Jout turned his head and looked at Newkirk, meeting his worried glance. Without saying a word, he took a few steps forward and threw his arms around Newkirk, burying his face in his boyfriend's neck. Newkirk immediately brought one hand up to Jout's head and the other on his back, holding him close. As he was in his boyfriend's arms who hugged him tightly to comfort him, all the pent-up tension of the last months left his body and he realized what could have happened to him. Images of George being raped by Brawley and later lying in his own blood flooded his mind and suddenly, tears welled up in his eyes and he began to weep copiously.

With Jout shaking in his arms, Newkirk cradled and squeezed him tenderly, gently stroking the American's brown hair. He felt a wetness at his neck, probably a mixture of Jout's tears and blood from his nose. He would definitely have to clean his jacket when this day was over. "Shh, don't cry. It's over, and everythin' will be fine. General Barton ordered to send Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach back to London for trial and General Fanbrick assured to not interfere with it. They will get what they deserve" He rubbed Jout's back as he tried to comfort him. "Are ya 'urt anywhere else besides yer nose?"

Still sobbing, Jout answered, "My nose bleeds really bad. Besides that, my jaw and head hurt and I have red marks on my wrists" He disengaged himself from Newkirk's neck and gazed at him. With bloodshot eyes, Jout asked, "Will they really be court-martialled?"

Newkirk removed his hand from Jout's head and began to caress his cheek. He smiled lovingly at him and said, "Yes, ya don't 'ave to worry about them ever again. They won't 'urt ya anymore" Newkirk pulled out a handkerchief and put it on Jout's nose. "Why don't we go to Wilson and let 'im check on ya to make sure yer nose is not broken?"

Jout nodded and with Newkirk's hand still on his back, he made his way out of the tunnel and to Wilson's barracks.


	33. Chapter 33

_One hour later…_

Jout lay on his bunk with an ice pack on his face. Luckily his nose was not broken, but Wilson ordered to cool it nonetheless to prevent a hurtful swelling that would make it difficult to breathe properly. And after six weeks of breathing problems because of broken ribs, Jout had no interest in repeating those breathing difficulties. With him in the barracks were Newkirk, LeBeau, Carter, and Kinch, sitting at the table and waiting for Hogan, who was currently in Klink's office trying to talk him into transferring Brawley and his friends. While the others only sat at the table and stared into space, Newkirk mended the torn sleeve from Jout's jacket. Part of the seam that linked the sleeve to the rest of the jacket ripped apart during the struggle with Brawley and since Jout only possessed one jacket, Newkirk quickly mended it.

When he was finished, Newkirk looked up from the jacket and glanced at Jout. "I'm finished with yer jacket. Where should I put it?"

"You can lay it on my footlocker" Jout turned his head and removed the ice pack from his face. "Thanks for repairing it"

"No problem. 'ow's yer nose?"

"It doesn't hurt anymore, and it stopped bleeding"

Suddenly, the door opened and Hogan entered the barracks with a victorious smile on his face. "You can say goodbye to our three friends. Klink just agreed to transfer them at noon tomorrow"

"Great, Colonel!" exclaimed Carter. "How did you get him to transfer them?"

Hogan went to the stove to pour himself a cup of coffee while explaining, "I just had to draw Klink's attention to the fact that Brawley and the others caused a lot of trouble lately, and that the trouble would probably continue with them and Josh in one camp. When I asked him whether he would like to have three unknown sergeants or _Golden Eagle_ as prisoner, he quickly decided it would be best for the camp if Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach got transferred to Stalag 9" He sat down at the head of the table. "Sergeant Pearson will watch them until tomorrow"

Jout sat up on his bunk with his feet dangling over the edge. "So it's over?"

Hogan nodded. "They will be in London in two days, where they will be welcomed by the military police and General Barton" He looked at Kinch, debating whether or not to talk in front of the others about his wish for a transfer. But the others would learn about it eventually, and if Kinch did not want to work with Jout because of his homosexuality, Hogan would not cover it up. "Kinch," he said. "Pack your things. You will leave with them"

"Leave?" LeBeau asked. He looked at Kinch in disbelief. "You want to leave us? Why?"

"Yeah, Kinch. Why?" snorted Newkirk sarcastically, leaning against Jout's bedframe. In return, Jout shot him a warning glance as he jumped down from his bunk, not liking the direction this conversation was going.

"That's none of your business," declared Kinch.

"Oh, ya think so?"

"But I thought we would all leave this camp together when we get liberated?" Carter piped up.

Hogan looked up from his mug and noticed Kinch giving him a pleading look. "I think they deserve to know why you want to leave our unit, Kinch. After all, we worked together for more than one year"

Kinch turned away from Hogan and faced Carter and LeBeau who looked at him, confusion spread all over their faces. His mind was rotating, and he felt sick at the thought of telling his friends why he could no longer work with them. They were like brothers to him, and he had the feeling that they thought differently than him about Jout being gay. But the thought of working next to Jout made him even more sick. "All right, if you must know," Kinch said. He stood up from the table and gazed at Jout before he looked at Carter and LeBeau. "I refuse to work with Jout"

Jout glanced at Newkirk, who stood next to him, and saw anger flashing across his face. He only hoped Newkirk controlled his anger, or else they would need to postpone the transfer because Jout was sure that Kinch would not be able to walk after a clash with Newkirk.

His attention was drawn from Newkirk when he heard Carter asking, "Why don't you want to work with Jout? He's a great Underground agent"

Jout turned his head and looked at Carter, a bittersweet smile on his face. _Oh, Carter. Always thinking the best of people. You are too good for this world._

Then light dawned on LeBeau and he exclaimed, " _Mon dieu_! Don't tell me you want to leave us because Jout is gay"

"LeBeau, you have to understand –"

" _Incroyable_!" LeBeau interrupted. "How can you be so narrow-minded?"

Seeing that he got no support from LeBeau, Kinch turned to Newkirk. He took a step forward and asked, "What about you, Newkirk? Please tell me that at least you understand me"

Jout looked back at Newkirk and saw blazing hatred in those green eyes he loved. "No, I really do not understand ya" Newkirk glanced at him and Jout realized that the Brit was about to break his promise. Jout mouthed 'Don't', but Newkirk did not listen. "And just for the record, when ya say ya 'ate 'omosexuals, ya say 'at ya 'ate me too"

Kinch immediately took a step backwards. "You're one of them?"

Newkirk nodded. "And I take yer intolerance towards Josh personal" He slid an arm around Jout's waist, pulling him closer. "Very personal"

All eyes fell on the couple, and Jout stared at Newkirk, completely surprised at the revelation. But since the cat was out of the bag, there was no reason to hide their relationship any longer. Therefore, Jout slid his arm around Newkirk's waist too, and gazed at Hogan, who was smiling at them.

Kinch stared at the embraced couple, not believing what he heard and saw. He shook his head and muttered, "You two are sick. That's simply not normal"

That remark was enough to drive Newkirk up the wall. He leaped at Kinch and clenched his fists, ready to beat him up. Jout quickly stepped between them and pushed Newkirk back, trying to prevent a catastrophe. The others rose from their seats too, but made no move to protect Kinch.

Jout struggled to hold Newkirk back since the Brit gathered amazingly much strength when he was angry. "Stop it, Peter! It's not worth it" Newkirk did not listen and continued to struggle but at last, Jout succeeded in pushing Newkirk back against the bedframe. He looked him deep in the eyes and said, " **He's** not worth it"

Having watched Newkirk's outburst, Hogan decided to separate the group to prevent a possible fight. "Kinch, I think it's best you leave the barracks for a few hours" When Kinch made no effort to move, Hogan glared at him and ordered sternly, "Now, Sergeant!"

Eventually, Kinch gave in and left the barracks with a bowed head. Jout let go of Newkirk and turned around, and saw Carter and LeBeau staring at him and Newkirk; one looking baffled and shocked, and the other is was giving him a content and happy smile. Jout averted his gaze from them and glanced at his older brother, who already knew about him and the Brit, and he was greeted with a broad smile too.

Strengthened by LeBeau and his brother's reaction, Jout took Newkirk's hand in his and squeezed it gently. "Well, it seems like there is no need for secretiveness anymore"

As his shock faded, Carter stammered, "You…you two…are an item? Like Mary-Jane and I?"

"Yeah, Carter," Jout answered. "Just like you and Mary-Jane"

Carter shifted his glance from Jout to Newkirk and gazed at the Brit in wonder. "And all your stories about your numerous girlfriends? Were they all made-up?"

Newkirk lowered his glance and nodded. "I'm sorry, Carter. But I never intended to lie to ya. I just told all those stories so 'at ya guys would never suspect me bein' gay" Newkirk tilted his head to the door. "Ya 'ave seen 'ow some people react" Newkirk let go of Jout's hand and stepped forward to Carter. "I really 'ope ya can forgive me"

"Why should I forgive you?" asked Carter in the most innocent manner imaginable. "You've done nothing that needs my forgiveness. I mean, sure, you didn't tell me you like men and you made up those stories, but I totally understand why. I mostly never tell anyone that I'm part Sioux too, because most people I know make fun of me"

Newkirk began to smile at Carter's rambling. "So, ya don't feel bothered by Josh and me bein' a couple?"

"Of course not!"

Newkirk sighed in relief, and after everyone of their friends assured that they were happy for them, contrary to Kinch, the friends settled around the table and talked about the upcoming mission. While Hogan explained how they would stop the truck with Brawley, Fanbrick, Leach, and Kinch in it, Jout felt Newkirk's hand on his thigh and he smiled at his boyfriend, simply being grateful that he finally found his happiness again.

* * *

 _Later that day…_

Jout listened carefully to the message that was being send by Morse code and hastily scribbled the translated version on a piece of paper. He handed the paper to his brother, who read the message and said, "Looks like they have something planned for today. From now on their will be radio silence until 1400 hours tomorrow" Hogan looked up from the paper. "Looks like you will have a quiet night. You should enjoy it; it will probably be your last until I find a new radioman"

"I sure will," Jout answered while he turned off the radio. When he noticed his brother waiting for him, he said, "You don't have to wait for me. I want to check on Peter and see how far he came with mending all those uniforms before I go to sleep"

"Sure," Hogan answered with a wink, then he turned around and headed to the ladder to give Jout and Newkirk some privacy. He knew all to well how hard and burdensome relationships in war time could be; his own romance with Tiger was at times straining enough. And with her he was not even sure how serious his attraction was. But with Jout and Newkirk he had the feeling that they really cared for each other.

Jout watched how Hogan left the radio room, and then he rose and went into the other direction, making his way to the clothing room. Of course he did not want to check on the mending progress, but rather spent some alone time with his boyfriend. Upon reaching his destination, Jout peaked around the corner and studied Newkirk for some time. He was totally concentrated on sewing a button on an Uniform jacket, with his brow furrowed and his teeth biting on his tongue. Being deep in love with the Brit, Jout smiled at him lovingly. Simply seeing his love made him feel warm all over.

When he saw Newkirk biting off the threat, Jout walked around the corner and greeted, "Hey, Peter! How far along are you with the mending?"

Newkirk set down the jacket and stood up from the table in the middle of the room as he heard Jout approaching him. He smiled at his boyfriend and wrapped his arms around him, giving him a passionate kiss. Since he was not able to show his affection whenever he wanted, he longed for this quiet moments alone with Jout even more. " 'ey, luv, I'm finally finished. Ya won't believe 'ow many uniforms and civilian clothin' we 'ave" He tilted his head to a bunch of blankets lying in the corner. "But the gov'nor wants me to tailor even more. Says we need to be prepared for every possible scenario"

Jout laid his hands on Newkirk's shoulders and started to tenderly knead them. Since he was the same height as the Brit, he was able to look him directly in the eyes without needing to raise or lower his glance. "Well, he's right with that, but I'm sure it won't hurt anybody if you start tomorrow. London just sent word that there will be radio silence until tomorrow midday, and Rob left the tunnel to lie down in his quarters" Jout began to grin and slipped his index finger into Newkirk's turtleneck, playing with the little curling hairs at his neck. "This means you and I are the only ones down here, and I think we should take advantage of it"

Newkirk felt a shiver going through his body at Jout's touch which made him close his eyes and moan slightly. "M'sorry for tellin' the guys about us without yer permission. 'at was utterly selfish of me. But Kinch just made me so angry –"

He was interrupted by Jout pressing his lips on his own. When the kiss ended, Jout gazed affectionately at him and brushed some hair out of his face. "It's alright, Peter. I wanted to tell them too, but I thought it would be best to wait until Kinch left; to prevent you from going after him" Jout smiled. "Besides, Rob already knew about us and I think LeBeau suspected it. Only Carter was a bit shocked" Jout pressed himself closer to Newkirk and whispered into his ear, "But enough of them. You know, there is a pile of blankets in the corner only waiting to be used as a bed"

Newkirk grinned mischievously and slid his arms around Jout's waist. The American kissed him sensuously from his ear down to his chin, and then he ran his tongue over Newkirk's lips. Newkirk opened his mouth and it was invaded by Jout's tongue, who intertwined it with the Brit's, while he pushed him down on the blankets. Jout followed him and for the next few hours, all one could hear were soft moans and wet kisses as well as deep groans when one drowned in a pool of pleasure. When they had totally spent each other, they put their clothes back on and spend the rest of the night lying in each other's arms, sleeping peacefully and forgetting the cruel reality of war for one night.


	34. Chapter 34

_The next day, 2200 hours…_

The tunnel was crowded with people. In fact, there were so many people present that one seemed to constantly step on someone else's feet. Besides the operative team, there were Brawley, Fanbrick, Leach, and also Dubois and two of his men to help escorting the three criminals to the waiting sub. Hogan was currently talking with Dubois about his role in the mission and told him what he needed to know regarding route and rendezvous point. They were standing a bit offside from the rest of the men, who were preparing everything for the leaving flyers. While Carter took care of the forged identification papers, LeBeau tended to the final touches of the escapees' civilian clothing. All the while, Dubois' men watched Brawley, Fanbrick, and Leach, whose hands were handcuffed, but Hogan did not want to risk anything, and so Dubois' men were pointing guns at the three men to make sure Brawley and the others would not move even one inch before the mission started.

Jout watched the activities from a distance, leaning against the tunnel wall and peaking around the corner. He had not the strength to be involved in Brawley, Fanbrick, Leach, and Kinch's escape since they had caused so much hurt in his life. Thankfully, his brother had sensed his discomfort and therefore allowed him to stay in camp when Hogan and his friends went out to stop the truck and spring Brawley and the others. And now he was only happy they would leave the camp in a few minutes so that he would never have to see them ever again. Jout sighed and put his head against the wall. He felt like a right coward, hiding from three handcuffed men. But handcuffs or not, Brawley and the others had tortured him mentally over the course of the last months, haunting him in his dreams and almost getting him to make the worst mistake of his entire life; not starting a relationship with Newkirk. And after what happened yesterday, he did not want to be in the same room as Brawley ever again.

Suddenly, he felt arms circling around his waist from behind and a head being placed upon his shoulder, making Jout snap out of his thoughts. Newkirk kissed his neck and said, "Penny for yer thoughts?"

Jout placed his hands on top of Newkirk's that lay on his stomach and squeezed them slightly. "Just thinking that I'm the biggest coward there is"

Newkirk stopped snuggling up with Jout and turned him around. With a perplexed look on his face, he asked, "Why do ya think 'at?"

Jout sighed again and leant his head once more against the wall. Then he began to absently play with Newkirk's jacket lapel. "I can't get myself to face them. When I think of facing Brawley, my mind instantly drifts to images of him raping George or him trying to rape me. I start to sweat and tremble, and then a knot forms in my stomach and I feel like I'm going to be sick" He raised his glance and looked Newkirk in the eyes. "How would you call that?"

"Ya're afraid, so what?" Newkirk placed his hands on Jout's hips. "We all are afraid of somethin'. But 'at does not make us a coward. We're only a coward if we let fear dictate our life, and trust me, I know what I'm talkin' about. If ya don't want to face Brawley because ya don't want to see 'im anymore, 'at's fine. Just don't let fear control ya"

Jout was touched by Newkirk's insightful words and felt a lump forming in his throat. He let go of his jacket lapel and placed his right hand on his boyfriend's chest, right above his heart. When he found his voice again, Jout gazed at Newkirk and asked, "So…you don't think that…I'm a coward?"

A slight smile found its way on Newkirk's face as he placed his own right hand above Jout's heart. "Au contraire. I think ya are very courageous. Like Mark Twain already said, _courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear_. And ya, me dear friend, are nothin' but courageous. Yesterday, ya mastered yer fear. Ya knew what it meant to say no to Brawley, but ya did it nonetheless"

"Since when do you read Mark Twain?" asked Jout with a smile on his lips. Mark Twain was one of his favourite authors, and he was impressed that Newkirk could quote him. He had not considered his boyfriend to be a Mark Twain fan.

Newkirk smirked and moved his head closer to Jout's. "Well, ever since this charmin' American lieutenant, who swept me of me feet, said 'at 'e liked Mark Twain. And so I decided to broaden me mind by readin' books from this author 'at I 'ad borrowed from other prisoners to impress the lieutenant and capture 'is interest in me" He crooked a smile. "Is it workin'?"

"What do you think?" Jout asked as he sought Newkirk's mouth for a passionate kiss. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's broad shoulders and pulled him closer to himself, feeling his mouth being invaded by Newkirk's sweet tongue. When they broke apart to catch their breath, Jout gazed into the Brit's eyes and brushed a few strands of black hair from his forehead. "How about going around the corner and see how far along the others are? It would be a shame if we miss the wonderful moment of watching them leave this place"

His hands still on Jout's hips, Newkirk questioned, "Are ya sure? Ya don't 'ave to do it if ya don't want to"

Jout nodded. "Yes, I'm sure. I need to see them leave to put those torturous memories behind me" He walked around the corner with Newkirk right behind him and went over to Brawley. Under the watchful eyes of his brother, he grinned and said, "So we are going to London after all, Brawley. But I'm sure it's a bit different than you thought. Although, I think the handcuffs fit you very well"

Brawley glared at the grinning Jout and leaped forward, but stopped in his tracks when Jean-Baptiste, one of Dubois' men, pointed a pistol against his forehead. "One more step, _mon pote_ , and I will blow your brain out. _Compris_?" Brawley growled and eyed Jean-Baptiste, eventually stepping back in line. "That's better," announced Jean-Baptiste.

During the turmoil, Hogan and Dubois had joined the group again. "It's time to move out," announced Hogan. He positioned himself in front of Brawley and declared, "Sergeant Kinchloe and Dubois and his men will escort you and your friends to the rendezvous point, where you will be picked up by a sub. In London, there will be a military police patrol picking you three up and bringing you to small and cosy cell in a nice military prison where you will await your trial. And I advise you to do as Dubois orders. He and his men are not really fond of rats like you are" Hogan tilted his head to Dubois' men. "Oh, and just so you know; Jean-Baptiste and Armand are specialists in close combat. If I were you, I would watch out for them"

" _Allez_!" Dubois said to his men and they each grabbed one of the three criminals and dragged them towards the tunnel exit.

Kinch lingered back and stepped in front of Hogan. "You probably don't think very highly of me, Sir, but still…" Kinch stretched out his hand. "I'm honoured to have worked under your command"

Hogan stared at Kinch's outstretched hand and crossed his arms in front of his chest, refusing to shake it. "You know, Kinch, I still think you are a great radio man and second-in-command, and that opinion will never change. But I can't work with someone who represents the same narrow-minded attitude as those we fight. And most of all, I can't respect this someone"

Kinch slowly nodded and pulled his hand back. He looked at the others standing behind Hogan and simply said, "Goodbye," knowing that they thought exactly like Hogan. Then Kinch turned around and left the group, catching up with Dubois.

Hogan watched Kinch leave the camp for good and pinched the back of his nose. He turned around to face his men and sighed. "It's getting late. We should go to sleep now; after all, the war doesn't stop just because we are a man down" He glanced at Jout and ordered, "Wake me when London gives note that they arrived"

Jout nodded and he headed for the radio room, sitting down at the desk with his poetry book to pass the time until London would inform him of their arrival. The others climbed up to the barracks and laid down in their bunks, all having trouble to fall asleep because of what happened the last days.

* * *

 _One day later…_

Hogan stepped out of Hilda's office and immediately turned up his collar. October came to an end and with that the harsh German winter advanced with great strides. Klink just informed him that the escaped prisoners had not been found and then rambled about how the escape was only possible because the guards who should have guarded the prisoners were from Stalag 9 and not from Stalag 13. Klink got himself worked up over the incompetence of those guards in finding the escaped prisoners because of which his own guards had to search for them now. But Hogan did not listen since Brawley, Fanbrick, Leach, and Kinch had already arrived in London which was most importantly for him, because now the nightmare of the last weeks was finally over for his brother.

He looked across the compound and saw the occupants of barracks 2 playing soccer against each other; only Newkirk and Jout were missing. Hogan had to smile; the fact that he knew that Jout was sleeping gave him the perfect opportunity to talk with Newkirk without anyone noticing it. Ever since he found out about Jout and Newkirk being a couple, he wanted to talk with the Brit about the situation.

When Hogan entered the barracks, he saw Newkirk sitting at the desk playing solitaire and Jout was sleeping in his bunk as expected. He went over to his quarters and opened the door, then he looked back and said, "Newkirk, I would like to speak to you. In private"

Newkirk looked up from his cards, surprised at Hogan's commanding tone. "Sure, guv," he answered and rose to his feet. As he followed his CO into his quarters, he thought back to the last days, checking if he might have done something wrong which would make Hogan want to talk to him.

Hogan had sat down on the stool in front of his desk and watched Newkirk closing the door behind him. Before the Brit had fully turned around to face him, Hogan asked, "What are your intentions?"

"On what, Sir?" asked Newkirk, completely confused.

"On Josh"

Newkirk tensed up and he felt a slight wave of panic rising in him. He had feared that there might be trouble lying ahead of him because of him dating his CO's younger brother, and now he hoped that Hogan would only do the 'concerned older brother' speech, and not the 'dismissive CO' speech. "I beg yer pardon, Sir?" Newkirk said when he found his voice again.

"What are your intentions on him?" Hogan repeated while he stood up and leant against the table. "I don't know how long you two are a couple –"

"Four days," interrupted Newkirk, shifting his weight from one foot to the other. "We are a couple for four days now. Since the day Josh got released from the cooler"

"Alright, but you still have to have a certain aim in this relationship," continued Hogan. "Are you thinking in a long-term relationship, or do you only want to pass your time in here and leave Josh when we get liberated?"

His mind needed a few seconds to process what his CO had asked him. When Newkirk had realized what Hogan had indirectly accused him of, he exclaimed, "Cor, gov'nor! Do ya really think 'at grotty of me?"

"I'm sorry, Newkirk, but I just have to make sure that Josh won't get his heart broken" Hogan drove with his hand through his thick black hair. "I know that's none of my business, but I'm his big brother, and Josh was hurt often enough in his life. First our mother dies when he was still very young, and then our father starts to abuse him too" Hogan lowered his glance. "And then I leave him alone with this bastard, and with that I have probably caused the most pain for him up until now" He raised his glance again, seeing Newkirk playing with a cigarette in his hand to soothe his nerves. "But that's exactly why I have to make sure he won't get hurt again. Especially after what he had to endure with Brawley. I don't think you will, but I just have to ensure that you won't treat him badly"

Newkirk was speechless. For the first time in his life he did not know what to say. He put the cigarette behind his ear and at the same moment, took off his hat and began to twist it in his hands. "To be completely 'onest, Sir, I 'ave no idea 'ow things will evolve after the war with 'im livin' in the States and me bein' in England. But I do know 'at I would never 'urt Josh deliberately, and 'at I will do everythin' in me power to protect 'im from any kind 'arm" Newkirk began to smile sheepishly. "And just for yer information, I 'ope it will be a long-term relationship, because Josh is the love of me life and I want to spend the rest of me life with 'im. But since 'e and I 'ave not talked about the seriousness of our relationship yet, I would appreciate it if ya would not say anythin' to 'im, Sir"

"My lips are sealed" Hogan bobbed up and straightened his jacket. "You know, I have the feeling Josh really cares for you, and since he is happy, I am happy. You are a great guy and I don't think Josh could have found someone better, but I swear to God, if you hurt him, I will make your life a living hell. Understood?"

Newkirk gulped and slowly nodded. "Loud and clear, Sir"

Hogan walked over to him and with a grin on his face, he patted Newkirk's shoulder. But before he could say anything further, they heard noises coming from the main room and Schultz calling for Hogan. The Colonel looked at Newkirk and shrugged, then he went to the door and opened it. He was greeted by his crew as well as Schultz and an unknown black American sergeant.

"What is it, Schultz?" Hogan asked as he moved closer, returning the salute the American sergeant gave him.

"This is a new prisoner," Schultz said, pointing to the unknown sergeant. "He just arrived from the Dulag and the big-shot ordered to place him in your barracks"

Schultz left the barracks as quickly as he came. Hogan turned his attention to the new prisoner who stretched out his hand and said, "I'm Sergeant Richard Baker, Sir" Hogan shook his hand, much to the surprise of Baker. He was not used to white officers treating him with even the basic principles of politeness.

"Welcome to our home far away from home," greeted Hogan with a smile on his face. "I'm Colonel Hogan, the Senior POW here. And these are my men, Corporals LeBeau and Newkirk, Sergeant Carter and Lieutenant Hogan," he explained while he pointed to the respective men. Hogan turned his attention back to Baker and asked, "Say, Sergeant, what was your job before you got shot down?"

"I was a navigator, Sir," answered Baker.

"A navigator? So you are experienced with radios?"

"You could say so, Sir. Built my own when I was five years old," Baker announced, taking pride in his actions.

Hogan's smile grew wider. He glanced at his men, his eyes revealing what he was thinking. His men understood what he tried to say and they began to smile too. It seemed like they had found their replacement for Kinch faster as anyone could have hoped for.


	35. Chapter 35

_Epilogue…_

Jout sat at the common table next to Newkirk and played poker with him, Carter, Baker, Olson, and Hogan. Christmas was in one week, which meant it had been two months since Brawley, Fanbrick, Leach, and Kinch left the camp and escaped to London; two months of utter happiness. Yesterday, London informed them that a military court had sentenced Brawley and his gang to 30 years in a military prison back in the States and that General Fanbrick had received a dishonourable discharged, making it finally possible for Jout to put what happened behind him.

Baker had proved himself to be an excellent radio man and valuable part of the team. He was cleared quickly after he had arrived in camp and Hogan confide him in their operation, explaining to him that they were short on a radio man. Baker immediately volunteered for this position and now he was a trusted and loved team member, who did not feel bothered by Jout and Newkirk being a couple. Shortly after he had joined the team, Jout approached Baker during one of his night shifts by the radio and talked with him about his relationship with the Brit. He also told him about Kinch's reaction and that being the reason for his talk with him. But Baker immediately assured him that he did not feel bothered by him or Newkirk, taking a load off Jout's mind.

Jout asked for new cards and waited for Newkirk to deal the next round. Unobtrusively, he touched Newkirk's left leg with his right one underneath the table, moving it up and down to stroke it. Newkirk glanced at him and gave him a seductive smile that he hid behind his cards. They had been a couple for a little more than two months now, and Jout was still on cloud nine. Even though it turned out that hiding their relationship from the other prisoners in their barracks was much harder than anticipated, it was the best decision in his entire life. And when he spent a few quiet hours with Newkirk in the tunnel, or only snatched a kiss, he knew that it was worth all the trouble. In those two months they were together, Newkirk succeeded in tearing down the wall Jout had built around his heart after Henri died, making him allow his romantic feelings for Newkirk without fearing another heartbreak. He was the love of his life and though he often felt insecure, Jout knew one thing for sure; no matter what life had in store for him, he would master his fate with Newkirk by his side.

Jout folded and his gaze fell on his brother, who sat across from him. Who would have thought that he needed to end up in a POW camp in the middle of Germany to forgive his brother and make up with him? During the last two months, he had talked a lot with Hogan about his life before the war, and now their relationship was as strong as never before. Jout trusted his brother again like he had trusted him before Hogan left him with their father, and he knew that no matter what, his brother would always support and protect him.

Newkirk dealt a new round of cards when Olsen asked out of the blue, "Say, Newkirk, are you and Jout a couple?"

All eyes landed first on Olsen, and then on Newkirk, who stopped dead in his tracks with dealing the cards. Jout continued to stare at Olsen while he had the feeling his heart stopped beating. He was completely shocked and instantly fear started rising in him.

He was only glad that at least Newkirk did not panic upon Olsen's question. The Brit began to laugh and questioned, "What gave ya 'at barmy idea?"

Olsen shrugged his shoulders. "You two just spend a lot of time together, and it seems like you like each other really much. Besides, you two look cute together" His last remark made most of the occupants smiling since they all had the same suspicion. In fact, everyone except Jout, Newkirk, and their close friends knew the reason behind Olsen's question.

Jout was still paralyzed from shock and not able to say anything. Newkirk sensed his boyfriend's fear without looking at him and so he was the one who tried to make Olsen believe that he and Jout were just friends. "Of course I like Jout, but only as a friend. Lots of attractive birds wait for me in London and I wouldn't want to miss out on them"

"Is that so?" Olsen had a hard time hiding a smirk. He knew that Newkirk was lying, but he thought it was fun to make him sweat. He glanced at Saunders, who stood behind Newkirk, and was greeted with the same badly suppressed grin. Newkirk nodded, and Olsen said, "That's interesting, because I caught you two kissing in the barracks last week. Didn't look to me as if you longed for those women in London"

Newkirk's face turned white as a sheet. "I…I don't know what ya're talkin' about," he stammered, not knowing what to say but getting angry at himself for his recklessness. He knew what kiss Olsen was talking about; Newkirk had broken their own rules when he had kissed Jout in the barracks, risking exactly this kind of dangerous situation.

Olsen looked at Newkirk and Jout and began to smile. "You don't have to deny it, Newkirk. We're happy for you two"

"We?" asked Jout when the shock started to fade.

"We occupants of barracks 2. Or should I rather say, those who you haven't told anything. I'm sure the Colonel and the rest knew about you two"

Newkirk narrowed his eyes. "Ya all knew about us?"

"Well, we didn't know for sure until I caught you two kissing. But we all had our suspicions," Olsen explained. "Say, since when are you two a thing?"

"For about two months now," Jout said, relieved that everyone in their barracks accepted them.

Olsen counted backwards in his head. "So since late October? Which date exactly?"

Jout furrowed his brow. "I think it was October 22. Why do you want to know?"

A sudden "Yay!" from Garlotti and groans from the other occupants confused Jout and Newkirk even more. They watched Garlotti jumping down from his bunk and taking off his hat, walking around the barracks and collecting money from the other prisoners, who only gave it to him reluctantly.

He began to count the money in his hat when Newkirk asked, "What the bleedin' 'ell is goin' on 'ere?"

Garlotti looked up from his hat, beaming with joy. "I pitted on October 21, and with that I was closest and won 45 bucks"

"You bet on the day we came together?" asked Jout in disbelief.

Olsen nodded. "Yup. When we first suspected you two being a couple, Saunders, Garlotti, and I discussed the beginning of your relationship. And that discussion developed into a betting pot"

"Hey! Why haven't you guys asked us too?" interjected Carter.

"Because we figured you already knew," Saunders explained. "That would have been a bit unfair"

Newkirk draped his arm around Jout's shoulders and glanced at Garlotti. "Well, don't ya think ya should give us somethin' from yer winnings? After all, we are the reason for the bet"

"But don't you have already the jackpot?" responded Garlotti with a smirk on his face.

Newkirk turned his head and gazed lovingly at Jout. "Yes, I 'ave," he said and closed the distance between them. He sought Jout's mouth for a kiss and placed his left hand behind his boyfriend's head, burying his fingers in his umber brown hair.

Amid the applause of the prisoners, Jout and Newkirk demonstrated their love for each other in a passionate kiss, showing that even against all reason, love would always win.

* * *

 **A/N: So here we are. 1 year, 35 chapters, and about 87.000 words later. I just wanted to thank all of you who have read or reviewed this story for encouraging me to write this story and making me try to update as regular as possible :) I hope you guys have enjoyed this story and hopefully you will like my continuation stories in the Jout/Newkirk universe too.**


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